Current WIP

 Hello, my lovelies, 

I'm sharing some spoilers on my work in progress; not too much, just the vibes. I'm currently writing a feminist, queer witchy novel with three badass lead characters. I have become obsessed with their world. To aid me in writing, I have been creating whole mood boards, playlists, cute little character avatars- everything. 

If I had to say my witchy book was like something, I'd say the OG Charmed X The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. I've always loved witches, magic, and women who are powerful and badass but also authentic. This story won't just highlight powerful women but also women who are genuine, who aren't perfect, and who make mistakes. 

I have ideas that this book will be part of a trilogy, but I need to continue drafting this first book before I even explore the possibility of a second or third. 

Below are some screenshots from my private Pinterest board so I can give you an accurate idea of the vibes of my current WIP. I own none of these images; they're all from Pinterest!

Naturally, I have a mood board and a dedicated playlist that I listen to whenever I work on my witchy novel. I won't share the whole playlist, but I will share my top five songs that capture the vibes perfectly!

Top 5 songs from my witchy novel playlist:

1. Fleetwood Mac - Seven Wonders (2017 Remaster)
2. Lana Del Rey - Young and Beautiful
3. Halsey - Young God
4. Blondie - Heart of Glass (2002 Remaster)
5. Florence + the Machine - Make Up Your Mind

You may be wondering about the progress of the book. The goal is 100K words; I'm at 40,000 so far. I have a long way to go, but I have dedicated more time to writing. My witches' stories fill me with happiness, and I want to share them with the world!

So, yes I'm writing a book. Once I've drafted it, I start the process of searching for a literary agent! I aim to have the book written by the end of the year. Watch this space!

Current WIP

Sunday 18 August 2024

She'll be his world

 

He gives each of his lovers his entire being,

and loves them with his whole heart.

He looks for long-lasting love,

he thinks quick and easy love is a farce.

He promises complete devotion,

a kind of love you only see in old films. 

He'll chase the girl across the globe

just so she'll be his world.

Mister gives her his all,

but always end ups being Mister all alone.

She'll be his world

Monday 3 October 2022

Fictional Characters I Share the Same Birth Month with

Hello, lovelies!

March has been and gone, if you didn’t know already it's my favourite month of the year. Yes, it was because my birthday was in March. On the 23rd I turned 24! Oh, how glorious ageing is. 

This isn’t a post about me but about the fictional characters whose birthdays are also in March! I love it when writers share every detail with us about their characters, it definitely gives them more depth. It's interesting seeing when they're born, their star signs, and their general attitude surrounding their birthday. 

I've compiled a list of fictional characters who were born in March: 

• Ron Weasley (Harry Potter): 1st March
• Aragorn (Lord of the Rings): 1st March
• Sybil Trelawney (Harry Potter): 9th March
• Remus Lupin (Harry Potter): 10th March
• Wonder Woman: 22nd March
• Hannah Marin (Pretty Little Liars): 7th March

Do you think I’m missing anyone?  There are quite a few interesting fictional characters who were born in April and have upcoming birthdays, to name a few Jenny Humphrey from Gossip Girl, Chandler Bing from Friends, and Lisbeth Salander from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

When I am creating characters for my writing, I plan out their birthdays and star signs accordingly. I think it's a brilliant way to explore character dynamics and personalities, especially if their birthday happens between the pages of the novel. A character's birthday can play a big part in the story, in YA novels usually when it's a young person's birthday they become legal to do something, for example, become old enough to learn to drive or be able to drink alcohol. A birthday can be a great driver for a narrative.  

As a reader, I like reading about a character's birthday. Witnessing how they do or don't celebrate ageing. I am a sucker for knowledge, the more I know about a character the better! I like to fully immerse myself into their world as I possibly can. 

Who do you share your birthday month with?

Fictional Characters I Share the Same Birth Month with

Monday 11 April 2022

I Failed NaNoWriMo

Hello!

The title isn't clickbait. I failed to reach the goal of 50,000 words by the end of November. I know exactly where I went wrong and I thought I should tell you all about it. If you've no idea what I am talking about I suggest reading my last blog post 'NaNoWriMo 2021' here.

I'm not writing a pity post but rather a reflection. Using my copywriting experience might have helped me be better prepared for NaNo. I wasn't focused and didn't give myself any direction on what I was working on. I should have approached this the same way I would client work.

Next time, I will do these things differently:

• Create a plan for the piece I'll be working on.
• Don't just decide to partake last minute (or the first day)
• Set aside the time to write 
• Set daily achievable goals 
• Most importantly: have fun!

As it was my first time participating in NaNo I was overwhelmed quite quickly. For the first seven days, I wrote every day, but a week and a half into November and this wore off.

In total, I managed to write 8000 words before I abandoned the whole thing. Why did I stop? I was no longer interested in what I was writing. As it was something I was just writing on the spot, so inevitably I fell out of love with it quickly. I probably should've focused on one of the novels I already had planned out, but at least I now know for next time. 

For NaNoWriMo 2022, I want to have a plan ready before I begin. I think by being more prepared and actually having a structure and schedule for my creative writing will more likely help me to succeed. I am glad I tried this year, I have learned a valuable lesson. Preparation is key.

I Failed NaNoWriMo

Friday 24 December 2021

What Do I Write?

Whenever I tell anyone that I am a writer, the first thing they ask is 'what kind of things do you write?' I struggle to answer this question every. single. time. Why is this?

I usually start by telling them about the pieces of writing that I am currently working on. At the minute, they are my feminist and queer fairytale collection and my poetry collection. Even though these are what I currently call my most important pieces, they aren't the only things that I am currently working on. That pile is quite big. 

I know some writers like to stick to a single genre and that is absolutely chill! I have my go-to genre: supernatural! I didn't realise this for a while, it wasn't until recently when I was thinking about everything I have ever written and found that supernatural themes ran through most of my work. I do enjoy dipping my nib into other genres, I think it's important to step outside of my writing comfort zone to improve my skills.

My poetry is quite reflective of my thoughts, feelings and experiences. I pour my heart into my poetry. Not to say, I don't pour my heart into my stories but I see poems as more of a little journal or diary entries. I use stories to tell a much bigger story or meaning. 

I am currently re-editing some of my old work. As a teenager, I had written stories on Wattpad and adult me is a little embarrassed and wish I had proofread back then. I am now going through all my old live pieces and tidying them up as well as fixing any plot holes. I am enjoying diving into my old work. If you're a writer I recommend revisiting your older work and I promise you that you'll see improvement in your craft, you may even get a slight feeling of nostalgia too!

I try to write in my journal most days, sometimes as a writer, I have lots of ideas and things swimming around inside of my head. Journalling helps me to empty my thoughts clearing my head to help me prepare to write other bits. Sometimes a character will be stuck in my head, so I often journal little scenes that I can later come back to. Journalling is one of my favourite hobbies, it's particularly useful for emptying my thoughts at the end of the day so I can sleep better.

Of course, I write content for this blog! If you're new here I have been writing on here since 2015, and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. This blog has had a shift in tone, I used to write about anything and everything and now I focus on more bookish content as well as my own personal writing. I know I haven't been posting as much recently I am working on this, life got a little hectic but I love writing for you guys.

I don't think many writers have just one piece they are working on, there will always be something in the 'work in progress' pile! As well as all of the above, I am a copywriter. My day job contains lots of writing and I wouldn't have it any other way! Sometimes I don't always feel like writing after a day at work but I always make sure to write something each day- this is where journalling comes in handy.

So, what do I write? A bit of everything really.

What Do I Write?

Tuesday 28 September 2021

Diary Entry of Rita Rosco

 I look back at my life and by god, I don't know how I did it. Survived I mean.

My life hasn't been easy. I was raised by spies you see, I say raised that isn't quite true. They just happened to be my parents, I was actually raised by a distant aunt that was once removed from the family. Having spies as parents weren't as fun as it may sound. I never really saw them, maybe once a month if that, the longest I went without seeing them was 8 months. They'd send postcards but I doubt they were real. After all, spies were never supposed to give up their location. They lived and breathed for their jobs until they didn't. They died tragically on the hardest mission of their lives, as a teenager at the time they didn't tell me this just that it was an accident. I found out much later.

I was their legacy and I too had become a spy, it was the law. At the age of sixteen, I started my training, it was rigorous and hard. I didn't have a choice, I didn't exactly hate it though. I accepted my duty, trained and became a spy.

I met my partner Barb whilst serving, we met at the beginning of my career. By this point, she had already been a spy for 5 years. Her partner before me had to retire due to 'madness' - this in spy terms we know he went off the rails and tried to expose the entire company, the bosses couldn't allow this so he took a trip. Where to?  No one knows, he was never seen again. I was picked to be Barbs new partner as soon as I graduated training at the age of 20. We hit it off right away. We became inseparable quickly. We went on to work together for 50 years, totally in love with each other. I think us being in love with each other was the reason we lasted so long as spies. We protected each other and always had each other's backs. We lived together outside of the spy life too, it was easier that way. We were almost always on call plus we enjoyed each other's company. We were a dream team, travelled the world together. We were unstoppable until we were stopped. 

That day my world came crashing down, I haven't felt the same since. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night calling for her until I remember the mission that went wrong. I still cry about it, missing her with my whole being.

The mission was an odd one from the start, an unknown territory we were entering. Must admit after 50 years we weren't as springy as we once were. In the brief, we were giving details that were incorrect and that cost Barb her life. I was so angry at the company, they had one job.  The enemy murdered her before my eyes, I barely made it out alive. I saw her fall to the ground, I cried out for her and then there was this aching in my chest, pain shooting through me. I blacked out and days later woke up in the emergency room. I remember asking for Barb, crying to see her and when I was told she had died I was distraught. This sent me down a dark spiral, I wasn't the same person anymore. I entered a very dark place, I quit being a spy. Age caught up with me fast, I lived inside my head for a while. The world was no place for a heartbroken 70-year-old retired spy. There were several attempts to try and leave the world but the company looked after me, made sure I was okay. I still resented them nonetheless. 

It has been ten years since her death, I left the retirement home two and a half years ago. Barb came to me in a dream, whilst I was in the home, she stroked my face and spoke to me

"Please don't give up, I know you miss me but I need you to live on. Be happy, stick it to the company. You're not a washed-up all spy, you are Rita Rosco. A living badass who I love. You deserve to be happy." I cried in her arms and she held me, it was magnificent. She was exactly how I remembered her, fiery red hair and a smile that would make any person stop in their tracks. I woke up after that dream with a zest for life, I Rita Rosco was not going to rot with the company.

I now reside in the house we used to live in together. I am doing well, I finally got to know our neighbours after all those years of being away. A lovely woman lives next door, she is the same age as me. She brings homemade biscuits every Sunday and I brew us some tea. Barb would have adored her. She listens to all my stories, I told her I used to be a spy and she laughed. Not horribly but I could tell she didn't believe me, probably for the best, she is good company.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is even though I am not the same person I used to be, and even though Barb isn't here. I am doing okay.

I suppose, even cacti grow in the desert.

R.R

___

This was a response to the July prompt from WritingMyPrompt.

Diary Entry of Rita Rosco

Thursday 12 August 2021

WritingMyPrompt

 Hello!

There is one thing I really miss about University and that is being amongst other writers. Cheering each other on, sharing each other’s work and hearing different voices. I have decided I would like to have that back, create something other writers can be inspired by or share their thoughts on.  I have decided to create a monthly writing prompt, not only for myself but for you to take part in. At the beginning of every month, the first Monday, I will post the writing prompt. I too will respond to the writing prompt and share it on the last Friday of the month. 

I have created a page for this project: WritingMyPrompt. With your permission I will post your submission, this way you can showcase what you’ve written and others can enjoy it too! I know so many brilliant writers and not all of them have a writing platform so creating this project I hope they can get their voices heard. This is open to anyone and everyone! No restrictions. 

The very first post on the new page has submission guidelines as well as a little welcome message, feel free to click the previous link to have a look.  Prompts will also be posted on that page as a reminder and so you can have access to it any time. 

Each submission will have its own post on the WritingMyPrompt Page, I’ll too be adding my response to the prompt. If you have an idea or concept you would like to suggest please let me know I’ll add it to my prompt jar. 

All I ask if you are submitting is the title of your piece, your pronouns, the name you would like to use and social media @ for people to perhaps reach you. I have set up an email for submissions: writingmyprompts@gmail.com

If you would like to share this project or want to talk about it please use the hashtag #WritingMyPrompt!

WritingMyPrompt: July - "Even cacti can grow in the desert"

"Even cacti can grow in the desert"

I asked for suggestions and themes over on my Instagram and this was the first prompt suggestion and even though I had something different planned I knew this was the one. I hope it inspires you just as it has me!  

Your piece can be a piece of fiction/non-fiction, prose or poetry. Any format is welcome. Be as creative as you can, I cannot wait to read your submissions!

WritingMyPrompt

Monday 5 July 2021

Funko Pop Ideas: Writers

 Hiya!

This week's blog post is a little different from the usual, I have written about Funkos in the past in my blog post A Growing Collection. In that post I mentioned having about 50 and that was in February of 2020, a whole year and a bit later and I have 253. If you are interested in seeing them closely I do have an Instagram & Tik Tok dedicated to my Funkos: @DollysFunkosYou may have noticed these figures appear in some of my photos. 

I adore collecting these figures and despite Funko continuously releasing new characters I feel like there is still something missing. Some people missing.  I purchased this Pop of the writer: Jane Austen. She is one of my favourites. Pictured to the right. She is really cool, I love having her in my collection.  As I look at her most days I cannot help but wish for more writers to be released. There is such a huge market for them amongst the Funko community,  So far they have released Jane Austen. Edgar Allen Poe and Stephen King. All brilliant writers and I do hope to be adding them to my collection very soon. I do think there should be more Funko Pops of writers made. 

I have created  a shortlist of people I think they should make into a pop vinyl next:

• William Shakespeare 
• Emily Dickinson
• Charles Dickens 
• Maya Angelou 
• Oscar Wilde 
• Harper Lee 
• Lord Alfred Tennyson 

These are only a handful of influential writer's in the world, there are so many famous amazing writers that could be added to the list and potential collection. If I could choose only one from the list it would have to be William Shakespeare. The writing legend, the most famous writer in the world. I am tempted to try and order a custom of him from an independent artist, he would look amazing on my bookshelf. Funko if you see this please take the hint. If you could have a Funko Pop made of anyone in the world, real or not, who would it be?

Funko Pop Ideas: Writers

Saturday 12 June 2021

Work in Progress

 Hiya!

This week I come to you with a post about the things that I am currently working on! I have quite a few pieces of writing in progress, I am trying to split my time between them all. It allows me to jump from one piece to another, especially if I am not vibing with a certain piece at the time. I always have something else to work on. 

Whilst keeping my creativity stimulated I have been running my new Instagram (@dollysfunkos) where I take photos and share my addiction to Funko Pops! My collection is forever growing and I don't see this stopping in the near future. I love getting creative with photography and it's becoming one of my favourite hobbies! The Funko Community are ever so lovely.

 I am currently reading Jack of Hearts (and other parts) by L.C Rosen. I am thoroughly enjoying the book so far, and I cannot wait to share the book review with you. I have been reading this one for a little while now, not that it is particularly long but I have been in a reading funk. I am getting myself out of this funk though! Chapter by chapter I am falling back in love with reading. Next on my reading list is The Green Mile by Stephen King.

My main writing focus is my Fairytale Collection. The collection doesn't have a name yet but I know it will come to me the more I write and work on the fairytales. The idea of writing a fairytale collection was inspired by my Dissertation. I am creating my own collection of feminist and queer fairytales.  I intend the collection to be accessible for all ages, something to inspire children as well as adults. I am having such a good time writing this collection, it may be the best piece of work of mine yet.  I shared the first story in the collection with the blog a little while back: Such A Fall. I am loving writing queer characters that I (and others in the LGBTQ+ community) can relate to! I am unsure when this work will be complete but I am not rushing the process, just enjoying it.

I am currently putting together a poetry collection of all my best works. I am hoping to self publish the collection in the future. I have really become to adore poetry, and I find it such an amazing way to express myself. I love sharing my work with the blog, the messages I receive are so heartwarming. I know I have a long way to go with tailoring my poetry and learning more, but to capture where I am with a collection would be a dream come true. It gives me chills thinking about flipping through a book of my own poetry - so keep an eye out for this in the future! I am hoping to have published this before the end of 2021!

A few things are going on in my life, from a potential new career starting soon,  to a blooming relationship and friendships. I hate to jinx myself but I actually feel put together. Is this adulting?  I am going to finish the book I am reading this week and I will be back next week with a book review. Hope you all have a fabulous week. 

Work in Progress

Tuesday 11 May 2021

eat my words

 The writer,

the writer in me is ready,

ready to spring free,

free our words,

words to the world,

the world better be ready,

ready to connect with our mind,

mind your business,

business being my heart, 

heart is what we will give,

give our heart and soul,

soul on a platter,

platter, eat my words and weep.

eat my words

Thursday 4 February 2021

New Notebooks

Hello!

During this lockdown of ours, I have been finding a little hard to write. The world is all uneasy so I have been feeling very uneasy. To help spark my motivation I decided to feed my ever-growing addiction: notebooks. I do have quite a few already but they're all back in Brighton and just need something new and to have with me whilst I am home. I have been having a neb at Go Stationery for a while now and I decided to use my 15% off code to treat myself (if you want to treat yourself too GOGLAM230) and I found some stunning notebooks. I ordered three in total, two for me and one stunning Peacock notebook for my sister. In my delivery I also received a stunning planner, I don't really make much use of planner's so I gifted it to my sister for her business.

The Nikki Strange collection is my favourite, I bought from the element collection as well as astrology. I do plan on buying the rest of the element collection in the future, I just wanted to test it out and the quality of these notebooks are stunning.  As you can see to the right. The element of fire notebook is so bright, I figure the start of the collection had to be my own sign. I will be buying the rest because I am obsessed!

I plan on using the fire element notebook for thoughts, I am often swamped with feelings and thoughts. I get quite anxious at times, especially at times like these, and writing in the past has helped me so much. I really want to get back to writing every day, get everything out of my head and heart. It used to help me feel so relaxed especially on days where I feel super overwhelmed.

Buying notebooks is my attempt to trying and get my writing flow back, I just want to create and be imaginative but I’ve been everything but. I can’t wait to finish my degree too, then I’m free to write for myself again. Maybe 2020 will be the Summer of writing. 

The little moon and stars book I’ll keep for a rainy day, a spark will come and I know what to write inside. Maybe use it for a new book idea or a new poetry book!  

Have you been making any creative purchases lately?

New Notebooks

Friday 8 May 2020

Writing Spark

Since coming to University a lot has changed, my workload has been heavier and my social life has gotten more active. These things I am grateful for but for a long time I haven't been able to write properly.
 Sure, poems here and there but it has been months since I sat down and worked on some fiction. At least for pleasure, sure I have had to do writing for coursework which was fun but forced. I haven't written for pleasure is such a long time.
Until today. Something has just been sparked inside me again, after a draught I decided to reread a piece I was working on 'Hug Me Kiss Me Love Me' and I felt that spark come back. The connection with characters and all I had planned for them. So far I have managed to write a new chapter, it wasn't very long but it just felt amazing to write carefree again.
I posted it on Wattpad, a website I have been writing on since I was fourteen. I am nearly twenty. It is crazy to think it has been six years. I love the Wattpad community, it's amazing for all writers. I would recommend. The stories on there that I have posted have been purely for fun.I used to love readng other people's stories too, I wish I had the time these days to fall back into it.
 I have a book I want to eventually publish, not on Wattpad but real life. But, I haven't quite found the spark for it. I know I will come back to it, I always do. Right now, today I am just writing for fun. A story that sparks my mind and makese me laugh. Something that isn't all that serious but just chill with no judgement.

I can't tell you how to get the spark it just happens. Sometimes it can take days or if you're like me months! Just know someday it will return, and until then? Just write whatever you can. I write on the blog to keep writing, or in a journal or random snippets of thoughts in notebooks.

Writing Spark

Saturday 10 March 2018

Spain! 2017

Had quite a few of these!

I loved these, they are so artistic.

I am aware that this post a little overdue but here it is. Talking and sharing photos from my lovely holiday in Spain from earlier this month 29th August- 14th September.

This holiday was an amazing break for me before I left home for University. It was such a brilliant two and a bit weeks.

I think the absolute highlight of my holiday was visiting the Zoo Selwo and Gibraltar. Both were adventures I adored. Selwo I fell in love with Otters and got to see various different kinds of animals. I also conquered one of my biggest fears- I crossed a rope bridge. From a young age, I have had nightmares about rickety bridges, the ones where there is something below and the bridge swings as you walk across. I faced the fear and did it- I did almost have a panic attack midway but nonetheless, I made it across.

Beautiful big cat!!

 It was amazing being close to cheetahs and Red Pandas. We got to interact with animals such as goats - which I fed by hand with my niece, that was pretty cool.

Clearly not impressed by me

 I really liked the flamingos, they were so chilled looking pretty minding their own business.

Below is a video of these crazy monkeys, I think we caught on mid-breakdown.

The noise is the monkeys! It was unbelievably amusing yet so strange.

I particularly like this little snapshot because
it almost like an evolutionary progression.

Khaki shorts made me feel like an explorer

This was the fierce bridge. 

I fell in love with these Otters, even bought
a stuffed teddy  Otter.

 I have always loved water animals, I kind of seek them out in Zoos. Penguins are easily my favourite animal but I think since this trip Otters are a very close second.




At Selwo we got to see Elephants, this was exciting. Until this point, I had never really seen an Elephant in person so I really enjoyed seeing them and even attending a tour where we got to learn a lot about them.

 Another Otter photo, this is the last of the Selwo photos! Hang on though, I am showing more of Gibraltar, the place I stayed and much more.

Gibraltar was incredible. The two above photos are from Saint Micheals Cave, it was beautiful. I also found that they host concerts there, and I feel like it would be an amazing to attend a concert in an incredible cave - naturally, this has been added to my bucket list.

The monkeys on the rock were so incredible, they literally did not care that there were people around. One of them shoulder barged my sister's fiance- this was hilarious to witness. It was such an incredible experience to see these creatures up close. When we were visiting the souvenir shop as you enter the cave, we witnessed a monkey come in and take a packet of crisps from the shelf and then knick off with it up the mountain- I couldn't get a snapshot due to the uncontrollable laughter.

The views from Gibraltr rock were unbelievable. Absolutely stunning, it didn't feel real. It was the type of thing you see in films and it was insane seeing it all before me.

One of many selfies with my beautiful sister, this one was for her birthday
celebrations.

 The architecture and layout of Spain is so unbelievably different to what am I used to in England, I found it all so pretty. I just wanted to capture it all, I didn't sadly because there were moments where I was so lost in the moment that I just lived and enjoyed myself.

Until this point, I had never seen a Banana tree in my life.

I loved spending time with my niece, she was lovely and adored Spain -
we both did!

I fell in love with all of the views, sunsets with palm trees may be my new  favourite setting.

What I like about the photo to the left is that this photo was taken before we all decided for a night swim. The water was warm and I hadn't been in the pool all day due to severe sunburn on my shoulders. We took many night swims- it was beautiful.

Last monkey picture- I promise.

The villa we stayed in was so lovely, to the left, our neighbours were friendly and fun. Kara made some friends, and it was just lovely.

I didn't picture any but there are sooo many wild cats in Spain.  I was so happy, they were beautiful!

 There is definitely more wildlife in Spain that is visible. We saw huge toads, little geckos, we even collected some little frogs from the pool in which we made a home for in the garden.

So many dog owners too!

 This was an incredible piece a man made on the beach, it was so beautiful and detailed- very very impressed.

Came across this little fella!

 I loved walking down the street to be on the beach. I visited the beach a few times, some with the family and more so on my own. It is so calming watching waves, it felt as though time was frozen somehow and everything seemed to be alright.

I think what I loved most about my trip was that I got to spend time with my sister and niece before I left for University. It was an amazing trip, I had so much fun and thus being one of the best holidays I have ever been on!

#SUMMERBLOGGIN

Thank you for reading (or even looking at) this long ass post! I had intended writing about this sooner but just never got the chance! Keep an eye out for my next post on my move to Brighton and my first week of University - should be posted either Saturday or Sunday!

Spain! 2017

Wednesday 27 September 2017

Blanche

She lived in a world of her own, the real world was too cruel to her. Naturally, she found safety in her own make belief. When life gives you lemons? She bites into them telling you that they are sweet. Her youth faded with the gunshot of her young husband, and she had to survive as her home crumbled with the dust of dead relatives. She is stuck in an endless cycle, with a thirst to be loved and lusted. Trouble, she meets often, it like this a second nature to her delicate soul. Despite her educated mind she is still as fragile as the lantern she shades herself with. She is the kind of woman who you would believe in a second, but you should not. She can fool men and run up a storm in her walk.  She flees when the trouble overpowers her, making the next city her victim.

- This piece is inspired by the character Blanche Dubois from the screenplay A Streetcar Named Desire, written by Tennessee Williams

Blanche

Monday 31 July 2017

wherever I will go

I keep having this reoccurring dream...

it plays over and over in my head through the day

like a spinning record, the needle dragging itself along the lines

your heart close to mine 

and I wake up with butterflies in my face and fire in my stomach -

I do not know if it is love or just lust or love

but when I see your face the pandemonium inside swells

scaring me, making me frightened that my heart will burst -

like a pin prick stabbed into a child's balloon

I think about your smile and laughter

and how your eyes are an intensified beauty

and I think about my own boring brown windows

and just do not see how they could ever meet

I want to tell the world

just how much of a good person you are

but; like a harsh wind, I push my feelings into a cage of silence

closing the curtains on them to block out the outside world.

how could anyone simply understand?

I have this desire to pour my heart to you

but this ghost behind me taunts me you will only get hurt, again

like every other person I touch falls apart

taking pieces of me with them because... I am no longer whole

I want to ignore the clouds of dread that hang above me

but that ghost keeps yelling you will never love me

and as I feel this need to repel from the lost spirit

I am simply pulled back to it like a magnet

I am encouraged to speak my mind by my friends

and that should be enough, but that voice whispers you will never be enough

and I curl these feelings for you into a hot fiery ball

and I will take them with me wherever I will go...

wherever I will go

Wednesday 5 July 2017

Grief

It's the hot cloud blackening a clear blue sky, it's the cool air turning toxic thick as it wraps its paws around a throat. It's chocking till a person is on the floor withering in a panic. It's the swelling of the world becoming too big for a minute soul. It's watching a clock but seeing only  fate come closer, the numbers yelling guilt as the hands bang against a chest like a  viscious trombone. It's only seeing selfishness without the selflessness behind it.

It's like dipping a toe into a blue lagoon that shimmers  with its reflection from above. It's wanting to run into the wild fields and keep running. It's also wanting to fully immerse yourself into the holy water that you know you will only taint. It's a magnet, both attracting and repelling. It's the sun blaring kindness but your soul bounding you sorrowfully to the squelching mud beneath you.

It's running fearlessy into a maze only to be imprisoned in tears between four walls. It's staring into a mirror and not knowing who is looking back. It's sitting under a hollow tree, finding comfort in the balcony of leaves above. It's  not wanting to leave but having to go. It's like walking onto an empty road, not knowing to turn right or left or wait for someone else who is on the same journey to ask them. It's being free but being trapped by your surroundings. Invisible chains disguised as specks of dust.

It's running into the distance till breathing is the only surrounding sound. It's twirling until the ground beneath is an unsteady pulse. It's a heavy heart on weak shoulders. It's wanting to do everything but being unable to complete nothing.

Rest in Peace Jonny

Grief

Saturday 24 June 2017

On the bus with a writer

I think I'm on the bus with a writer, a notepad she writes into and she looks up now and again and continues to write. She looks brilliantly bizarre in a fur jacket, and bright badges of many colours. Is she being inspired or is she inspiring? I wonder if she's captured the speed of the bus as the houses become disfigured blurs. I wonder if she writes about me, she gave me the once over when I got on. I wonder what thoughts I can bring a person, what does my persona give away to strangers about me? She wears a shiny bag, I can't say it's blue nor green but that tell tale turquoise. I'm intrugued by her, like every other writer I've met I want to know more. I want to know if she thinks like I do, or if she plans her work or jumps straight in. What kind of characters does she create? What sort of things does she make them feel? I'm eager to look, glance at her wisdom on a page. What style does she write, past or present? Or present progressive. She thinks with her pen in her mouth, pressing fingers to her light up screen. Is she researching? Looking to cover a plot whole or eager to learn more and be inspired? I shouldn't people watch, or make eye contact with the writer and smile, but I did.

On the bus with a writer

Thursday 2 February 2017

Well done

Well done they tell me
you've lured one in
and ensnared his heart
you're no longer single and free

my relationship status
achieved more congratulations
than my success of my poetry
like finding love is the most important apparatus;
to heal my heart.

Screw that
sure I am in love
but I have been in love much longer
than when a man came into my life.
I found my true love much sooner
for writing my heart has been like an acrobat

Energetic with enthusiasms
words amongst thousands of pages
for years writing has been my lover
creating characters, making drama
lives created, places and people
for this love I know will last forever and ages.

Well done

Saturday 21 January 2017

Three Doors

Three doors

closed and probably locked.

One red, one white and one blue

the colours, locks and letterboxes'

are all that are to be viewed. 

I know not of who live there

or what happens behind these closed doors

strangers going about their lives

as I go about my own -

I sense calmness behind the red

imagining a house but not a home

maybe one or two people live there

or maybe they just visit a place to go,

the white house alarms me

a shiver down its hinges 

I feel fear with the unnerving faded sight

a letter box just too gold for comfort,

I feel drawn to the blue one

warmth hits me as I pass it

imagining laughter and love radiating through 

a safe place behind a wooden lock.

Three doors

closed and probably locked

one red, one white and one blue

the colours, the locks and letterboxes'

are all that are to be viewed.

Three Doors

Sunday 8 January 2017

happy hero

There was a time when
I could forget the world
With a singular sour sip
a chug of burning
and I would no longer have;
to be  myself

I'd be a self made champion
a happy hero
all with my trusty dazing sidekick

it stopped
it betrayed me
my stomach got trapped in a whirl
I began to badly hurl
I left my trusty sidekick

Upon my return
Its' lips met mine with a grin
only it didn't work

It lost its magic
the power it had ran out
my once good friend has gone
I am no longer that champion
no longer that happy hero

happy hero

Thursday 29 December 2016