Next Chapter

As you may have read in my little prose earlier - I was petrified of not getting into University. I had self-doubt up to my eyeballs.  I managed to get to sleep after about half 3ish. I woke up at seven-ish. And by ten past I had the answer blaring at me through the screen of my phone.

I got into my first choice - The University of Brighton. I am still ecstatic. They emailed me first thing this morning telling me I was accepted. This made going in for my results much easier, a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I still cannot believe it, I get to call Brighton my home for the next 3/4 years- that is taking sometime to process. I am so thankful and proud of the support around me, my friends and family mean the absolute world to me. Not only am I proud of myself, for actually doing something I believe in and chasing my dream, I am proud of my friends for chasing theirs.  A Levels were hell, break downs and endless amount of work but we got each other through it. Even if it was sharing a passion for hatred towards a lesson or little positive compliments that would make you smile after a rough day. Moving to Newcastle Sixth Form College was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I am so thankful and grateful for everything.

It's such a relief knowing I can enjoy the rest of my Summer without the worry of not knowing my place. I am excited about the future. I'm sure moving so far away from home will come with many challenges but there is nothing that I am not willing to overcome. A Levels have taught me a few things, other than media institutions, camera angles and the use of caesura.  I have learned that if you don't do something right the first time, try again until you do. I am glad I didn't give up in September of 2015; when my old sixth form told me I shouldn't  pursue English. I have learned that independence is an important quality. How good it is to have people around you, and be able to depend on - it is just as important to be able to depend on yourself and have faith in your decisions. I have also learned that it is important to let go, this I didn't learn directly through lessons but more so through personal events that happened towards the end of my time at NSFC. Not everything needs a reaction, but also it is okay to feel everything and nothing. It's okay to not have your shit together, you should have to do what is best for you - even if it makes no sense to anyone else.

I want to thank especially Olivia - you are my actual rock, and I am glad I met you, thanks to NSFC I have a friend for life! Christine and Paul - you two are the life of NSFC, your support has meant the world to me and I cannot thank you enough for making the experience of A Levels better, good luck for the future - Christine with your amazing bodycombat teaching, and Paul with bringing a new life into the world, you will be an amazing parent! Carolyn, the wittiest woman I've ever met 'throwing shade' every lesson, never failing to make every lesson the best. Angela, last but not least! Thank you for believing in me and my writing, you encouraged me to write more and inspired me to put my work out into the world- and I cannot thank you enough! Good luck with your writing!

I am so grateful and relieved that A Levels are over, a chapter of my life has come to a close and I am ready for the next - whatever it may be.

#SUMMERBLOGGIN

Next Chapter

Thursday, 17 August 2017

Summer Begins

Hello loyal readers!

Firstly, I will begin to say that I apologize for being awol this month. It is exam season, and well life threw me a curveball this month in my personal life. But, I am back in the frame of mind of writing again. This month has perhaps been one of the most difficult in my life so far, but I plowed through focusing on my exams and nothing else. My last exam was yesterday, and it was such a relief to have finally finished A Levels after 3 long years. The pressure to not fuck up has been real, I am not sure how results day will go, some of my exams were tough, but I know not to dwell on them right now. I did my best and it's all out of my hands right now.

To celebrate finishing A Levels with my friends, after my exam we decided to get drunk. Pitchers at the ready of course. It was a nice end to three years.

I want to talk about how it took me three years to finish A-Levels, I am aware it took my longer than a lot of my peers but it was important it took me three years. This time last year I was finishing AS for the second time round, and I've been thinking about my state of mind then compared to now. If I hadn't of messed up my first year and had gone to Uni last September, I honestly do not think I would have been ready. I was still worried on where I wanted to go in life, whereas now? I feel more steady, and I know I want to do English and going into the publishing industry. It took me the last year or so to discover myself, I know what I want and where I want to go. I have learned a lot about myself due to taking that extra year to complete A Levels. I am glad I messed up my first year, I would not be the person I am today without it.

I  want to say that. it is okay to fuck up. We all do it, you just have to learn from your mistakes and try again. It might take you longer to get to the place you want to be, you friends may even be ahead of you, but that is okay. You are doing this for yourself, and no one else.  Do it at your own pace, and just keep going, you will get exactly where you are meant to be, even if like myself it takes an extra year. You have got this.

I started my first day of summer with a good eleven and a half hours sleep, it was perfect not having to wake up for an alarm. I am quite optimistic about this Summer. The Summer before university. So far I have a gig planned, a cinema screening of a friend's film, a party to go to, pride, holiday to Spain and my best friend from Manchester is visiting so no doubt we will be up to many adventures. Those are the set in stone plans, no doubt there will be many more spontaneous plans on the cards. I also plan on writing a book, or begin to, this Summer. I am continuing a piece I did for my English Coursework, it is historic fiction, I will do a post on it with more detail another time!

Expect more summer posts. for example, I am shopping for holiday clothes this week so I may do a little holiday haul for you!

Summer Begins

Wednesday, 21 June 2017

Sixth form

Stress, stress and did I say stess?
I have so many essays to do
Xxxx - does he like me?
Thanks for the extention sir.
Hurry up this food queue is huge

Fuck, when will this end?
Ooo look at that a social life
Really how can I balance all of this?
May as well give up now

Sixth form

Thursday, 20 October 2016

Zero Motivation

Being off for easter I had planned to spend most days revising, working through exam questions and trying my best to not mess this year up. I go back to sixth form tomorrow and I have done none of the above. I have been baby sitting for the majority of the easter holidays, so I haven't spent much time at home. And Saturday my sister surprised me with three Sims Expansion packs, I may as well kiss goodbye to my education right now.
I have zero motivation and I hate it. English isn't too bad because it's linear and we have to do this year's exams again at the end of next year. Film I feel fairly confident with I just think it's Media I am lacking with. Today is a new day, I am eating healthier and setting my head straight.
Tomorrow I will use my free time more productively, I will study in my free lessons and do at least an hour out of sixth form hours. I refuse to muck up another year!
It is so tempting to go with the 'Wing it' attitude. I know it doesn't work. I go on study leave May 14th, and it's frightening! I am still going to attend those lessons at least the ones where my teachers will be doing. I need to not mess this year up.
I am aiming to go to Brighton University in 2017, to study English Literature and Creative Writing - the entry requirements are BCC. I need to get the grades I refuse to put Uni off for another year!

Zero Motivation

Saturday, 9 April 2016

Hello November

Meeting the first day of November has been calming, sweet and comfortable. Despite waking up with a headache today has been delightful. I feel relaxed and ready to take on any challenge that presents itself.
Admittedly I have spent the best part of eight hours (so far and today alone) playing on Sims 3, it got delivered yesterday and even yesterday I was on it for hours. So I'm gaming more now, I might video some sim footage who knows. I am enjoying the simulation world again I must say.
I shall be starting sixth form again (half term has went with a flash) nice and early and ready to work hard.
So November, please me good to me and I will be good to you.

Hello November

Sunday, 1 November 2015

Goodbye October

I feel like I am ending October on bad terms, mainly because I'm unwell. Some bug has come over me and I'm not feeling my best, but I won't let that put a downer on the previous days of the months. I feel as though October has lasted all of ten seconds, it is one blurr which to be honest I am finding it hard to recall.
This month I feel myself lacking a little, perhaps I haven't been giving my all in sixth form. This is a lesson learnt, and hopefully I will apply to next month; you only get out what you put in. With writing however it has been the opposite, this month I have felt a roaring spark, and I like to thing my previous posts of this month is proof of it. My last two posts in particular I am proud of, they were both written this week and well I enjoyed writing them.
It is Halloween, it seems I'm not fond as I used to be. I do plan on having my feet up later to watch Hocus Pocus (which is a must of this month). I was supposed to be going to a friends gig but I can barely leave my bedroom never mind the house.
This month has a been a rocky roller-coaster for socializing, it has lacked a lot but risen in some places. Admittedly I have spent most of October alone, with the exception of a few days.
For once I can gladly say GOODBYE OCTOBER!! You weren't what I was expecting at all, personally I think you may be a little overrated.
Bring on November!!

Goodbye October

Saturday, 31 October 2015

College Guide #2

It seems I already forgot to keep up the weekly college guide, but worry not it shall return!

1) Comfort? Comfort. I cannot stress this enough, please where something comfortable it is for your benefit because trust me you don't want to be hoisting up your leggings ever five minutes, or fiddling on with some complicated piece of clothing. I suggest comfort because in college you will be moving around a lot (a bummer I know) but since you are being so active then why not be comfortable while you do so? I'm completely looking out for your best interest here.

2) Fully charged phone. This may sound obvious but I'd have you know that the other day I woke up to an almost dead phone, it seems I either forgot to plug it on or the charger somehow disconnected, I'm going with the latter. I know phone's are the mean source of procrastination however in college they are good for other stuff; like if you're laptop is dead, or you cannot access a computer you can always use your phone. Plus you never know when you need to get in touch with someone, like email a teacher work or whatever.

3) Smile! Yes smile, whilst you are working your butt off it is all the same important to just smile take a breather and let the beautiful day consume you. This also applies to not working yourself too much, yes studying is important but so is your sanity!

4) High lighters and gel pens? A must. These little sticks of colour are definitely a must for your pencil case. Not only does it add to your previous bought pens but they are actually useful when you are doing your a levels. I am constantly high lighting things, taking notes, annotating things and trust me these bursts of colours all of my pages are helping me to do so, plus it looks pretty and not boring. This is coming from someone who hated high lighters throughout her high school years.

5) A day off? Email in. In the unfortunate event of you being ill (or simply skiving) you should definitely get in touch with your subject teachers, to let them know and also so they can email you the work you will be missing, as falling behind is definitely a no go!

That's all I have got for you with the college guide this week, I've been WritingMyHeart and you've been wonderful!

College Guide #2

Friday, 9 October 2015

Manic Monday?

It's just another manic Monday, I wish it were Sunday

I always associate this song with Mondays I don't really know why, until recently I would have agreed with most people hating on Mondays but it seems I have turned over a new leaf, and I can proudly say that Monday is my favorite day. I start sixth form a little later than most of my days, I also have all my subjects today which is good because I genuinely enjoy them all. Plus I have no doubles so there is no dragging my heels and everything is straight to the point. I have more or less done all my work outside of lessons, just a few tweaking here and there needing to be done but the main content is pretty much finished. Plus I do have two hours spare tomorrow to round everything up, proofread and you know the rest.
The vibes I am getting from today are positive, I feel good and well we all know the day is what you make of it. I'm enjoying the fact that all my lessons closely link, not only does it make my work load easier but if I am improving one subject then surely I am in the others. Despite the gloomy weather, blocked nose and shivering I plan on radiating happiness and as always give my all. I won't allow the weather nor the day of the week hold me down.

Manic Monday?

Monday, 5 October 2015

Gone within a flash

Where is the time going? I swear it was only August five seconds ago. The weeks are swishing by in a fast blur, I've noticed time has a way of passing quicker when you're older. You're so busy and consumed in work and living you simply forget the date changes. Yesterday felt like a Monday, I was pleased to find that today is Friday. The weekend if finally upon us. I have work to do, which we both know will probably be left until Sunday or at the very latest Tuesday. I am keeping on top of things though, I refuse to allow the work load pile up and stress me out. I have a feeling that soon enough it will be Summer again, it is almost frightening how a week has gone within a flash.

Gone within a flash

Friday, 2 October 2015

College Guide

Since starting college it seems that I wasn't well accustomed or prepared to start with and well I wish I'd known before hand, because no wants to turn up to college looking like a fool unless that is your aim then go right ahead. So for anyone that is interested I am going to write a weekly college guide, it's nothing heavy or even that lengthy just a few tips on a Friday!

Tip 1; A3 Notebook every time, I turned up with a smaller note book not realizing how many notes I'd be taking in that one day alone never mind that whole week. I do suggest you buy a A3 notebook as they are bigger, give you more room, and you can buy them almost anywhere.

Tip 2; Pencil Case. this sounds basic and you may feel like you're back in primary school however it is helpful, and you avoid the awkward hand raise of asking the teacher for a pen which leads to at least a five minute rant. Pencil Case and plenty of pens, you're welcome.

Tip 3; Earphones, not so much helpful for your lessons but definitely helpful for your sanity. When I'm revising, doing out of class work, writing and even travelling I always have my earphones in. Music helps a lot, plus it beats silence or annoying surrounding noise and conversations.

That is all I have this week for college tips, look for next weeks tips!

College Guide

Friday, 25 September 2015

First Day

So today was my first day starting my new sixth form. It went amazingly well, perhaps the best first day I could have asked for. I genuinely enjoyed my lessons I was focused and not once did I loose an ounce of interest. I only did Film Studies and English Lit&Lang, they were great. Everyone was friendly and I'm happy. I feel hopeful and determined!

First Day

Wednesday, 16 September 2015

Best For Me

I'm all about change lately, first I will explain why and the build up to my most recent change. On the 10th of September I started year 13 in sixth form, and well between me and you it didn't go well. There was talk of English Lit being stopped, and well I was told to think of another option. I was devastated, English is my passion as you guys know. 

So Friday came along, my tutor had a meeting to find out the deal and English had definitely been stopped. Which was annoying as I had already done my first year, only to be told I can longer continue it. Disheartening, I basically let myself be talked into another subject. Which I was told to produce work for over the weekend (I worked my ass off) so Monday comes along and I realize that I miss English, genuinely miss it but I just went on. This new subject teacher basically told me all the work I did over the weekend wasn't what she wanted and told me to produce something else for the following day. Can you imagine how annoyed I felt. 

I did spend the night drawing and what not, and fast forward to this morning. Where I realized the only reason I went to college was for English, and it is something I want to do, and I had a breakdown, to be honest I felt let down. If I had known this was going to happen I would have went to a completely different college. I had enough, and I know English is my passion and I shouldn't have to be forced not to pursue it. My parents were being so supportive, my mother made me take the day off she rang up telling them how much the college let me down especially since I had been promised at the end of last year that there will be an English course to return to. 

My parents suggested that I looked for a new college, I was a little wary I mean this is packing my whole life up I have known my sixth form for 6 years now (due to is being a part of my high school) my mam told me to look online and what not. I found a college that interested in me,the courses seemed appealing but being my nervous self I had concerns. My parents talked me into calling the college and seeing what the deal is, I asked if it was possible to attend for one subject and carry on my other two with my original sixth form, which turned out to not be an option. However, they got me thinking and they suggested I changed sixth form completely and I was welcome to come in for a meeting. 

I had a change of heart, I found myself feeling excited so I looked into the courses and was more than happy. They offered much more than my last, plus they offer a course I originally wanted to do which was English Lit and Lang. I felt ready to move on with my old sixth form, and I was eager for my possible new one. So I went to the meeting only to fall in love with the whole sixth form, the vibes were amazing, and I enrolled immediately. I have never felt so ready and willing for change ever in my life.I know it means not seeing my best friends as much as I do but I have  to do what is best for me. For once I wasn't going to allow my future to be in someone elses hands.Today I took control and did what was best for me. I will be restarting my AS levels, my subjects are now English Lit&Lang, Media Studies and Film Studies. Tomorrow is my first day and I am excited and ready to take control.

Never stop chasing your passion, whatever you do make sure you stay true to yourself

Best For Me

Tuesday, 15 September 2015

Hello September!

So as it seems the Summer has been whisked away and we are starting out in September! A busy month for most if not all! Realization is beginning dawn in that perhaps the summer was slightly wasted and that preparation should be done for another year in sixth form.

I have been taking some time away from writing and the blog, but I am back and ready to type till my hearts content. I kind of noticed that my blog doesn't really have a theme, I just post things from my daily life, my thoughts and whatever I write or ideas. So what this blog is about well, I'm not sure how to categorize it to be honest!

If you are reading my blog, at some random chance, please share as it would help a lot!

Hello September,

September you have arrived again, usually I dread you and wish there was someway to delay you. However, I have come quite accustomed to your arrival over the years.This time I am quite thrilled by your occurance, I am ready to begin a new term in my life. Turn over a leaf if you will, plus I have become quite in love with Autumn and the beauty it brings with it.

I will make this a good September, I welcome you with open arms and ready to take on any challenge you face me with!

Hello September!

Friday, 4 September 2015

Results Day

As many know today was the A level results day. Today I got my AS results, and I didn't get anything near what I hoped for. C in photography, D in Media Studies and E in English Literature. I am completely disappointed in myself. Photography I expected, and pleased with. Media that was a shocker, however next year I plan on doing A2 as well as As, which means I will be fixing my AS coursework up and resitting that exam, as well as doing A2 Coursework and Exam. English, wow from being of my best lessons and result at GCSE has turned to my worst at AS Level. Next year I will retaking AS and staying another year to do A2!

I am not disheartened, from this I have a lesson to take. It's obvious I clearly hadn't put enough work in, I let a lot get on top of me so instead of feeling so down about my results it has taught me that this is what happens when you don't put the work in like you should. The first of college admittedly has been quite difficult, but I will be going into my second year hopefully I am more accustomed to things. Determined to make this year better, so next results day I won't be sulking and eating my emotions instead I will be over the moon and celebrating. I plan on so much better this up coming year, I shall get the results I need and I SHALL BE GOING TO UNI!!

- ALSO WELL DONE TO EVERYONE WHO GOT THEIR RESULTS TODAY! IF YOU DID GOOD OR BAD THERE IS STILL HOPE!

Results Day

Thursday, 13 August 2015