Hello March

 Spring has almost sprung. 

I'm looking forward to the crisp cold air leaving and for the flowers to rebud and the sun making more of a daily appearance. I've been eager for Spring since Winter started. Granted, for me, Spring brings more than just a change of weather; it brings along with it my birthday and my second solo trip. In a few weeks, I will be turning 26 in Rome. 

I'm really hopeful for the month ahead, but before we dive into that, I want to reflect on the month just gone. 

February was... something. Highs and some really dark lows mentally, but I've come out of it very grateful for my life, the people I am surrounded by and all that comes with life. I don't want to focus too much on the doom and gloom, so I highlight some of my favourite moments.

February's highlights:

• Dad's birthday: the old man turned 60, and we celebrated it as a whole family, siblings, kids and all, and it was so lovely. 
  
• Comedy show: I went to see Chloe Petts with a good mate of mine. I hadn't been to a comedy show in years, which was really cool. Chloe is hilarious. 
• Best friend's birthday: It was one of my best friends' birthdays; we went for sushi and had the most lush time together. In adult life, you don't see your friends as much as you want. Who would have thought, huh?
• New skill unlocked: A minor win for some but a colossal win for me. I've finally mastered the skill of using chopsticks. It has taken me longer than I'd have liked, but I am chuffed.

Looking ahead into March! 

I'm really excited about the adventures that are waiting for me. We're only two days into the month and off to a good start. I feel like this month will be about personal growth, self-reflection, and becoming even more comfortable with myself. 

On the first, I took myself on a solo date to the cinema to see Wicked Little Letters. Great film, I have a newfound adoration for Olivia Colman. I then took myself for Dumplinga (opted for Long Bao) at my favourite spot in town and ran into wifey and her partner, which was lovely. I went for coffee and started to read a new ARC (When Love Barges In by Bryony Rosehurst). I was gifted it at my favourite coffee spot. Good start to the month.

In the month ahead, I'm looking to really challenge myself. Do more of what I love and work on habit-building. I started building some habits in February but sometimes found it hard to stay consistent. In March, I must continue showing up for myself and staying consistent.

I still love writing my witchy book, so I hope to do more in March, watch more films, and expand my film knowledge. Reading took a bit of a back seat last month, but with the gorgeous new book I'm reading, that isn't the case this month. I neglected the blog last month, but I've got some posts planned, and I'm looking forward to writing and sharing them with you.

I'm looking forward to Rome; it has been on my travel list for a while, and I'm excited to celebrate my birthday there. Kicking off Aries season in Rome, it will be firey, exciting and adventure-packed. I have been planning like crazy. There are so many incredible places and sites to see!

So, March? We're going to be friends. 

Hello March

Saturday 2 March 2024

Almost 7 Years of WritingMyHeart

Hello!

I recently realised that this blog has been going for 6 almost 7 years! On the 24th of May 2015, I created this blog and shared my first ever post! I am shocked but also thrilled to still be writing and sharing everything on WritingMyHeart. My content has changed over the years, although I have always used this blog as a platform to share my creative writing. 

The support I have received from friends, family, and even strangers online have been overwhelming over the years. The reach on the blog has continued to improve and we are currently sitting at 101K views! I am overjoyed at the success of the page, I couldn't have done it without you. 

To celebrate this amazing occasion, even if it's early I treat myself to a new Parker pen with the blog name engraved!  I am obsessed with it. As a stationery addict, I also treat myself to a new planner from Papier, they're perfect together.  I am so thrilled to still be sharing on this blog, I pour my whole heart into it and will continue to do so. I feel like the blog has come such a long way, it's gone through many changes from content type to the actual layout of the page.  It's come such a long way and I am so grateful to every person who has stumbled on it and read any of my words!

On such an occasion I thought I would share the top 5 posts of my blog according to the stats Blogger has gathered:

1. BOOK BOX SUBSCRIPTIONS(DECEMBER)
2. Talking with female serial killers(review)
3. WHY I’M NO LONGER TALKING TO WHITE PEOPLE ABOUT RACE (REVIEW)
4. TWO TATTOOS
5. 2/3

This tells me that you guys enjoy my book reviews and little life updates. This makes me super happy as I am really getting into writing book reviews. I will try and do more life updates but truth be told I work, I write, and I read. I sometimes go places my life isn't the most interesting. 

I noticed holding fourth place is a tattoo update from a couple years ago. I don't often talk about my tattoos on my blog but I do post about them on my Instagram. I am working on slowly building a book sleeve,  maybe I will post an update on that when it's complete or near completion. 

I think it's cool that my top post was on my book box subscription, a few of those posts were close to the top 5, maybe I will restart them again sometimes in the future. 

I am so happy to still be writing on the blog 6 years later, this page is my home! I'm so pleased that you're part of this journey!    

Almost 7 Years of WritingMyHeart

Monday 10 January 2022

The end of a Decade

Before we hit into the '20s (the decade I have been excited for) I want to reflect on the decade we are leaving behind. The most important decade of my life so much has happened I have gone from child all way through my teens and to adulthood. I have met so many amazing people in this decade, people I know who will be my life long best friends, new family members - two nieces and a nephew as well as two step-nephews and a step-niece. My best friend Kara was born in 2014 and we have been inseparable since. I can proudly say I have friends in each direction o

f the UK and even some abroad.

This decade has not been easy, I have faced grief like I have never felt before. I have loved and lost, but I am recovering. I started high school and finished high school. Did the sixth form thing, for three years instead of two. I flew the nest and moved from Newcastle to Brighton. I came out to my family and friends and learned that whatever or whoever you like does not define you. I learned to value home and family more, and I learned to stand on my own two feet.  I have shed many (and I mean many) tears but I have also laughed so much. Some of my best memories have been during this decade, I travelled to Holland, Spain and Egypt. I visited places not so far from home: Edinburgh, Brighton, London, Manchester, Devon and Cornwall. 

I have learned more about myself, I've watched myself change and become someone a younger me would look up to. I have found the love of writing during this decade, I created this blog. I made a Sims Gaming YouTube. I have found love in fictional worlds. I have learned that life is a journey and that sometimes it takes people a little longer to get where they are going. Life is not a race, it is about focusing on yourself and watching where you're going, and everyone else around you you should be supportive of their journey.

I would do my usual thing and make resolutions for the following year but this time I don't want to do that. I want to make promises to myself. Promises to love myself, in whatever stage my body is at. I promise to my kinder to myself. I promise to have more fun, more risks and things to look forward to. If this decade has taught me anything it is that my mental health is just as important as my physical health, I promise to take care of my thoughts and to know when enough is enough. This decade I have met my limits and that wasn't always fun. But this decade I promise to take care, even if it is in the smallest of things.

I hope you reading this, you have an amazing 2020. Party like Gatsby or chill alone in your own swamp like Shrek. Do what is good for you. Happy New Year. 

The end of a Decade

Tuesday 31 December 2019

Fat Girl

Photo taken by Tiana Francis

hey fat girl,
big thighed girl,
buldging stomach girl
squishy arms girl
i love you girl

Fat Girl

Tuesday 23 April 2019

2018

I have been wondering how or what to write for my annual post about bidding the year farewell. Looking at previous years, 2016 I went for the things I am blessed for. 2017 was more 20of it's been a tough one but I pulled through kind of post. I feel like the past few years have been big years for me and this year was just... random aftermath of those years.

I sit on my bed, full of cold with a glass of wine and a pack of hobnobs. It is always good to reflect back, I didn't exactly know where to start but let's begin with my #bestnine on Instagram.

The grid above is the posts that my Instagram followers liked the most, and even though these pictures do not sum up the whole year they do highlight some of the best bits.  2018? The year for trying to be more body confident, the goal I set every year, and I am getting there. The year of a cool new tattoo (or two or three), it seems my Slytherin one was quite the hit! This was the year I actually experimented with makeup, and I can happily say I am getting better! This was the year I changed my hair a lot, blonde to blue, to even green to blonde and then back to Brunette! I need to stop making impulsive hair decisions. I had the most amazing holiday to Egypt with the people I love. That was a huge highlight! I feel like this year has been overall, alright. I am learning the ins and outs of adulthood, money managing and living, trying to cook and look after myself, all whilst working and attending Uni. It's hard. This year I learned that in 2019 I need to get my shit together.

This isn't a whole new year new me, because I am actually starting to like myself. I see the upcoming year as a way of improving myself, big things are ahead- I can feel it! My braces come off, after 5 years, and I am excited to see the end result- especially since I have always been self-conscious about my teeth. I plan on getting healthy, this sounds cliche as fuck. But I don't mean just my body, I mean my mental health. I will be joining the gym though, in February. I would do the whole joining in January thing but I am not in Brighton long enough to dedicate January to the gym. I want to start eating better, so more homecooked meals, I enjoy cooking but half the time I just can't be bothered. In March I turn 21, a proper adult, which is scary but also exciting. I haven't decided on what shenanigans we will get up to for that! I hope to do a little more travelling this year, some cities around the UK like Glasgow and Manchester, as well as maybe a cheeky holiday before year 3 starts at Uni.  

I have decided to get my shit together financially. Something I have been crap with since before I started earning money. I just need to manage everything, become more organised. I bought this little gem to help me. I guess something to motivate me really. I have always wanted to be one of those women who keep a diary, write important crap down and just take control of their shit. I am also aiming to read at least 40 books next year, I only managed 24 this year. 

I just feel like this year is going to be my year, focusing on myself and just being happy. Happiness is all any of can really ask for. And if I haven't achieved any of the above this time next year then sod it, I know I'll probably have memories to look back on!

So, 2018! You have been weird, just plain weird. I feel blessed having made another year on this earth, to this one and the next! I wish all my lovely readers the best 2019 possible,   god knows you all deserve it! 

One last note, I do hope to expand my blog more, and my writing. This year is ours!

2018

Monday 31 December 2018

ALOHA!!

Hello!

I feel like it has been a while since I just posted a talk/thought kind of post. So yesterday I posted a new poem,a spoken word poem which I did a video reading which I attached to the bottom. It wasn't spectacular but it something I hope to do more of in the future. It's fun and something new. 

Yesterday something else happened to me to; realization struck me during a heart to heart with my sister, I've been wanting to leave home for Uni since I was twelve and it sunk it that in four months time I will be doing just that. I cannot believe I am actually this close, it is frightening.  I am excited but absolutely bricking it at the same time!

I am also addicted to The Sims 4 - I spend all my free time on it, it is probably getting out of control. I am doing The Legacy challenge, which is challenging to say at the least. It's making me play Sims in a whole new way, so that is enjoyable.

Things are okay, I'm not bursting with happiness but I'm not crying myself to sleep either. I am okay with okay.

ALOHA!!

Wednesday 26 April 2017

an opinion that will matter

When I was younger, a few years back, I came across a video online. It was a man speaking into a camera, and women would send him photographs of themselves and in these videos, he would respond to these photographs. Complimenting them and comparing their bodies to nature, I remember him once saying 'bountiful curves like blessed mountains'. My initial thought was, he is a nice guy and he is trying to make these women feel better about themselves, but as I think about it now the sad reality of it kicks in.

Those women were essentially sending themselves to a stranger for validation, they are putting their self-worth into the mouth of this man. But, what these women perhaps do not know is; any stranger, or even a person you know, can tell you you're beautiful, but it will never mean as much as you telling yourself you are beautiful.

The only person's opinion that will truly ever matter is your own. How many compliments have you received and actually accepted at face value? What you tell yourself in the mirror matters much more than any comment on a screen. You have spent your whole life with yourself, and if you like it or not you will continue to do so. So, love yourself now because you will save yourself some trouble in the future. Know your self-worth.

I wish those years back, I could read this. I wish young Lauren was as self-aware as I am now. She was naive  and so obsessed with other people accepting her, admittedly that is somewhat a little true today, but I like to think I've picked up a thing or two.

an opinion that will matter

Tuesday 14 March 2017

Self-Worth

She is stuck in the reflection of self-worth, she refuses to meet the eyes of the stranger in the glass before her. A mere stranger at her glance, she knows not of who she sees before her. Not one of them hold a single thing in common. The girl cannot walk away from the mirror,  she is trapped in its shimmery lure, yet she just cannot forage for the courage to look at her; look at herself. A creature of self-worth, a creature who allowed the world to tame her with her words, tame her wildness and importantly tame her freedom. She is her enemy and the mirror is her war.

Self-Worth

Tuesday 10 January 2017

2016

It's the last minutes of 2016, before entering the new year I want to reflect on the positive things that have happened in my life over the last 365 days.

Sure we can focus on the negative things, but what's the point? It's the moments that we are our happiest that really means something.

I want make note of all the things I am grateful for in 2016, and all the things that made my year the best it could be.

 - New friends, I've made new friends, this year I found my friendship group. The girls who make me laugh and have shown me new ways and new places.
- Travelling, I've always loved the idea of travelling and this year I began pursuing that love. So far to  Leeds and Edinburgh, I look forward to the places I will travel in 2017.
- Love, I have found two kinds of love this year. This year has been a journey of self love, I've become more self aware and decided to take a more positive outlook on my self and I can now proudly say I 100% love myself for who I am, body, personality and all.
The second love I found within recent months, a love I haven't talked about on my blog but if you've seen my social media his name has cropped up a few places; Jonny. My boyfriend, who I met this year and I'm falling so deeply in love with. I'm grateful for him, when I was ready to call it a day and accept my single life he appeared and I'm so happy he did.
- Published, August I received a letter and a certificate for a poem I had wrote and in September it was published in an anthology with other writers in the North East. This was a huge amazing step for my writing career.
- University, I applied for University and got an offer back from my dream university; University of Brighton. I cried reading my offer and I cannot wait to work for it and go in 2017.
- I turned 18 this year, this meaning I'm an adult now and well mainly I can legally buy and drink alcohol. This has brought me many moments, some great and fabulous others hilarious and gross, I love all my little drunk 2016 moments.
- Family, this year I've become so close with my eldest sister. I'm so grateful for her, not only for being my best friend but for being there for me all the time. My niece, she has also made my 2016, the little bundle of joy who blesses my day most days. She's such a joy and I'm a very proud auntie. I have so much love for my family, all of who support me, especially my parents who always have my back and will go the end of the world to help me. Also it's been a good year for my parents, my mam and her charity have been doing amazing, and after a long time trying dad is back into work.
- My blog, and those who read my blog. I love having my blog, a place for my thoughts and writing, I'm blessed for little haven of mine.

Despite a lot going on in the world and all bad things that have been happening world wide it's still important to look at our own lives and realize all the good things that have happened to us individually. I do not regret a single thing from 2016, and I can only hope for a just as good 2017. Happy New Year, I wish you all the very best and prosperous 2017.

2016

Saturday 31 December 2016

Goodbye September

September, September.

You were a spring in my step, yet cold on my shoulders. Windy with messages but I am glad you happened.
A good month bach at sixth form, busy and hardworking but that's exactly how it should be. You brightened me up from August, I thank you for that. I am not the person I was when I greeted you thirty days ago, and I thank you again.
Until next year, my friend.

Goodbye September

Friday 30 September 2016

Monday Moods

Monday has inched its way upon us. I'm usually quite welcoming of Monday but I guess this week not so much. I had to wake up extra early today so that is taking its toll on me. At the moment I feel tired, slightly hungry (I skipped breakfast oops) and well damn right not myself. Of course I won't allow this to effect my day and the effort I put into college. It seems I only have one week until half term, so that means I can recharge, and even do some writing.
I've been doing some self reflection (I have been doing this a lot lately) and I'm starting to see that perhaps most of my relationships (friendships) are one sided, I feel as though perhaps I am the only one giving, the only trying to maintain the relationship. I'm the one compromising, and where does it leave me? Sitting alone outside of a room on the third floor, if that isn't lonesome then I don't know what is. That aside, I do value all my relationships (again friendships) I like the people I talk to. I share particular things with each person and that's what our foundations are based upon.
I'm just wondering is it possible to become my own best friend? I strongly believe the only person you 100% depend on (even if you don't want to) is yourself. I'm in no hurry to end any friendships, but I'm also not going to brush this concerns under the carpet either.
I need to reevaluate situations, and alter things so I can (selfishly) get the most out of things. Do you want to know what my problem is? I expect too much, but what is too much about expecting the same kind of gratitude back for what I give. Surely that deserves something?

Monday Moods

Monday 19 October 2015

Friday with Lauren

So it started off reluctantly getting out of bed, drinking tea and toast getting ready grabbing my lunch and heading out of the door. Where I'm welcomed with not so warm weather. A short walk to the bus stop, boring bus journey of awkwardness. Chatting with friends whilst walking up to college, once in the building printing essay off and grabbing a Costa Hot chocolate and curren tly sat in tutorial at 09:05.

10:16 Just finished my first hour of Media, it has been good but it is kind of recap due to covering this particular topic in Film.

11:22 Just finished media and going into English.  Feeling rather ugh it seems the smallest of things are annoying me, like how one person's head always gets in the way or how that same person is annoying and that same person just naturally annoys me. Lets just say not feeling so happy, today is one of those days.

12:30 English was good, we annotated and analysised some texts which I always enjoy. Currenlyu waiting on one of my closest friends to have lunch. Also diet is going well I'm being very good and resisting temptation!

12:41 I let my anxious and nerves get the better of me so I'm sitting alone eating food outside of my classroom for the next lesson which isn't until half one. What a gripping life you so lead! However my next lessons is a room on the third floor. Not all bad I guess I've got time for some mindless self reflection.

14:40 First hour of Media is done,it is going really well. I'm excited to do my media work going to be doing Misc en Scene, very exciting!

16:48 the one where I was feeling like crap and then made to feel worse. They say strangers don't care how you look then why did I just get verbal abuse about my weight from strangers in a passing car. Thanks for that knock to my self esteem very much appreciated. Feeling like a bundle of mess, I got to my sister's boyfriends house to walk his dog after being shouted at and bawled my eyes out to myself in an empty house, because one of those days. Being told I'm going to die and that I'm fat is degrading because it was shouted as though I didn't know, like I don't know how much I weigh like he doesn't know how much I'm dieting and eager to loose weight. Like I could be home, stuffing my face no instead I'm walking up hills, watching what I eat and trying to loose weight. It's horrible how a stranger can just do that like they know nothing about that person instead they just insult without even thinking about the battle that person has with themselves.

18:01 Feeling a lot better. I've walked the puppy. Now just sitting on the floor as it plays, I'm currently listening to music whilst watching the Bosc waiting for my sister so I can grab my stuff for my interview tomorrow.

21:16 I've eat food, had a lovely bath and sorted everything out for my interview tomorrow. I'm feeling good, way better than I was feeling earlier. I shouldn't let mindless people get to me! I am going to have an early night so this is good bye, tomorrow is a new day and I shall make it a good one and give it my all at my very first interview, wish me luck!

Friday with Lauren

Friday 16 October 2015

Barrier

Model; Georgia McDonald (My sister)
Water barrier project with the creative use of light 

Barriers, they are all around us. If they be physical or emotional, we guard ourselves. Keeping our own secrets, and desires safeguarded. Maybe in a life time we only allow a handful of people past such barriers, some of those people bring betrayal, however others bless those barriers with cherished respect.

Our barriers are reflective of us, and what we want. We allow the world to see us how we want to be seen, even it is under false pretences.

Maybe one day, we won't feel the need to barrier ourselves, perhaps the light will shine through it destroying it, finally allowing us to be ourselves. Without the need to hide.

Barrier

Wednesday 27 May 2015