I've had this conversation in my head at least twenty times already, each time it doesn't get easier. It's panned out in my head as I tell you how I feel and you disagree and try to to talk me out of it, and each time me crying and hurting but trying to do what is best. I've imagined what I'd say and thought about how you'd respond. It's not easy, in my head it's just as messed up as it would be in person. How can you rehearse breaking someone's heart?
I've been skipping any song related to love, I escape the overloading thoughts of you with my early nights, only to the world they're early nights but to me it's tossing and turning of tears and cold heart ache.
Give me alcohol, give me paracetamol; take these thoughts away and cover these feelings. I don't want to deal with this right now, but if not now when? This pain injected into my veins will only be ten times as bad in six months. We should depart now but what if you take my soul and happiness with you?
