The end of a Decade

Before we hit into the '20s (the decade I have been excited for) I want to reflect on the decade we are leaving behind. The most important decade of my life so much has happened I have gone from child all way through my teens and to adulthood. I have met so many amazing people in this decade, people I know who will be my life long best friends, new family members - two nieces and a nephew as well as two step-nephews and a step-niece. My best friend Kara was born in 2014 and we have been inseparable since. I can proudly say I have friends in each direction o

f the UK and even some abroad.

This decade has not been easy, I have faced grief like I have never felt before. I have loved and lost, but I am recovering. I started high school and finished high school. Did the sixth form thing, for three years instead of two. I flew the nest and moved from Newcastle to Brighton. I came out to my family and friends and learned that whatever or whoever you like does not define you. I learned to value home and family more, and I learned to stand on my own two feet.  I have shed many (and I mean many) tears but I have also laughed so much. Some of my best memories have been during this decade, I travelled to Holland, Spain and Egypt. I visited places not so far from home: Edinburgh, Brighton, London, Manchester, Devon and Cornwall. 

I have learned more about myself, I've watched myself change and become someone a younger me would look up to. I have found the love of writing during this decade, I created this blog. I made a Sims Gaming YouTube. I have found love in fictional worlds. I have learned that life is a journey and that sometimes it takes people a little longer to get where they are going. Life is not a race, it is about focusing on yourself and watching where you're going, and everyone else around you you should be supportive of their journey.

I would do my usual thing and make resolutions for the following year but this time I don't want to do that. I want to make promises to myself. Promises to love myself, in whatever stage my body is at. I promise to my kinder to myself. I promise to have more fun, more risks and things to look forward to. If this decade has taught me anything it is that my mental health is just as important as my physical health, I promise to take care of my thoughts and to know when enough is enough. This decade I have met my limits and that wasn't always fun. But this decade I promise to take care, even if it is in the smallest of things.

I hope you reading this, you have an amazing 2020. Party like Gatsby or chill alone in your own swamp like Shrek. Do what is good for you. Happy New Year. 

The end of a Decade

Tuesday, 31 December 2019

2/3

I submitted my final deadline, of my second year at University, approximately a week or so ago.

What a relief! I did an end of year post last year and its only natural I had to this year too! I hold my hands up to this, but damn has this year been hard. Nothing on the first year of Uni. Sorry to scare all you first years out there, please enjoy first year whilst you can.

Something weird has happened this year, not entirely sure what though. I have worked 100% harder like I have put so much more effort into my work but I cannot help but feel I haven't got my shit together. I keep leaving everything to last minute, which I didn't really do last year, and it is driving me insane.

 Realistically, I know it doesn't help working whilst doing my degree but a girl has got to do what a girl has got to do. I finished the second year, I suppose that counts for something. I want to wish for a better third year, and tell you I'll get my shit together over Summer, but will I? I will try but I know I'll be just as stressed this time next year.

That aside, we have to celebrate getting through it. I am super proud of all my fellow students and friends, you guys are amazing. I hope we all have the well-deserved Summer we need!

A week into summer, and I have no clue what to do with my time. It's weird not feeling guilty about doing things, I am so used to that nagging feeling in the back of my head telling me to do work. I am currently on a two-week break from work too, I am visiting home and enjoying long baths again and naps. Oh, the naps! 

I joined the gym too, a good way to kick off Summer. I am writing this whilst a bath is running, I am using the most gorgeous yellow bath bomb. I have been using quite a few bath bombs whilst being home, I might do a blog post rating and recommending some. 

I am not sure what I am going to do when I am not working over Summer so I have created a Summer goals list, something to complete and work towards and make sure I don't just waste Summer.

Summer goals:

• Read at least 15 books
• Socialise more (this is important because I have a habit of playing sims all day)
• Gym 3-4 times a week
• Cook more (pot noodles don't count)
• Finish Glee
• Finish writing memoir

I didn't want to set too many, but I feel like I have created a chilled list. Nothing in the list is unrealistic, it includes everything I enjoy doing. I am really looking forward to spending my first Summer in Brighton. I am hoping to start reading the books for the third year, but we will see...

What are some of your Summer goals?

2/3

Thursday, 6 June 2019

Talking with Female Serial Killers (review)

I read this novel on my holiday in September, I kept notes about the book on my phone. I needed a place to put my thoughts, this book really makes you think. 

 I am not sure why I picked up this book to read, I think it was more for the curiosity factor. I am aware of serial killers in the world but female ones are not really talked about. Before reading this I could only really name a few. 

This was one of those books I bought to try and branch out of my reading comfort zone, and it did just that. I have talked to people about this book, there are a lot of people who are interested in this kind of genre or simply have a fascination with serial killers. This is definitely a book I would recommend. I don't think the content is for the light-hearted.

This book was shocking. The author Christopher Berry-Dee talks about the women he talked with, very dangerous women, and he goes into detail with the crimes that were committed. I have to say, I am not really a fan of the author after reading this book. He referenced himself way too much and his other books. I also just found him a tad bit obnoxious. When the book wasn't discussing him it was really good content. I found that very intense and chilling.  I found myself numb and thinking about the crimes long after finishing reading the book. Truly disturbing. 

I think the case I personally found the most shocking case was the one of Mary Flora Bell. I had heard of her previously briefly, and that was only because she was from my hometown and was notoriously known. I didn't really know what she had done, but having read the chapter on her case I was left shook. I guess what got me the most was that her crimes took places on streets that I have known my whole life. I couldn't grasp that it happened in these places, and on the streets where hundreds of kids play a week. I just couldn't believe horrific acts were committed in a place that I've always known as being safe.

If anything, this is an interesting read. Factual and just eye-opening. I am unsure if I will venture into any more of Christopher Berr-Dee's work but we will see!

Talking with Female Serial Killers (review)

Wednesday, 12 December 2018

Coach People

As a student almost everything is expensive. Food, travel and just basic living. My hometown is over 300 miles up the country and my University is the bottom of the country. To get to A to B I use the not so classy transportation of Megabus. It’s a  long ass journey but it’s cheap and usually a pretty easy journey. Unless there is a few individuals on board that just piss you off immediately! This is a list of people you may come across on your journey on a megabus!

1) The one having a phone call out loud! Not only are they shouting down the phone, before 10am may I add, but also has their conversation on loud speaker. So two people shouting and one isn’t even on the bus! Did I mention it usually goes on for the majority of the journey?

2) Can’t type their conversation person, similar to the one before but only they sit beside you at Wake Field and voice notes all of their friends until Sheffield! 

3) Constant Pee Person, I always make the stupid mistake of sitting near the door in the middle which is also where the toilet is located but also one of the few charging ports on board. On a long journey you can’t help but notice people going to the toilet, or one person going at least 9 times during the one journey. Not judging just worried for you hun.

4) The idiot. On my last journey home the driver was forced to stop the bus and couldn’t continue the journey for a while... all because some idiot decided it would be a good idea to smoke in the toilet. Brilliant, it’s not as if the bus was already two hours behind on this journey already. Thanks for that. 

5) Music for all. I’m not talking loud earphones or the driving having the radio on because that’s chill. You blast those earphones but please don’t play the music on your phone out loud. We aren’t thirteen nor are we in a local park. We are adults on a bus, please remember that. You’re not the megabus DJ and and quite frankly your music taste is a little crap and disturbing. I kind of want to sleep through the journey not rave with a headache. 

6) Smelly food person. I understand you need to eat trust me I wanted to bring a McDonalds on board too but I decided to have consideration for all of the other passengers on board. After all, no one wants to be on a stinky bus for 9 hours. Clearly I’m the only person with this consideration, great.  I also feel like if I tried to do this  the one time, everyone would probably hate me. 

7) Clueless person. This person I guess is somewhat helpless but you’re also helpless and can’t actually help this person. Yet the clueless person continues to ask you when the bus is coming or how long until we get to this place and the thing is I’m not the driver of the bus I have no clue what is going on either. I don’t know why the drivers have been switched, I don’t know when we are going to Leeds. I’ve never stopped in Leeds my stop is Newcastle, the last stop. Please leave me alone and ask the driver who has more of a clue that the both of us. 

Fully aware this was more of a rant type of post but trust me it was needed! I meet all of these type of people every time I get on a long journey. There are probably a lot more, and I’m sure I’ll come across many more people who annoy me. I will be getting another Megabus coach in July and then again in September. Maybe there will be a Coach People 2.0.  Have you come across any annoying people on a coach? Should I do more of these? For example ‘The types of people you find in an airport?’ I work in an airport and have been for a week and trust me I can go on forever about those types of people! 

Coach People

Monday, 11 June 2018

Last Week at Home

Tomorrow I head back to Brighton, it’s been a marvellous three weeks at home but I have to say: I’ve missed the Uni life! 

Today is my Niece’s fourth birthday, I couldn’t miss it for the world hence why I’m going tomorrow. My last week at home has been wonderful and bizarre. I’ve seen my best friends, had some valuable bonding time with my family, got an amazing new tattoo, spend lots of time with my double bed before our departure, and today my sister and niece talked me into dying my hair. 

 

I’m in love with my tattoo, my tattooist Demi Patten is so talented! It’s getting finished at the end of the month, colour added as well as getting another new tattoo! Janaury is looking like a good month! 

The hair dye situation, it was supposed to be just the underneath but it messed up. From what should have been underneath has leaked into my whole hair. I was freaking out at first but I’m warming to it.

No doubt I will change it in a couple weeks and go back to my original hair colour brown! 

Loved spending the day with my niece, I can’t believe she’s four. Four years she has been my little best friend, we wind each other up and make each other laugh like their is no tomorrow. 

She dressed up as Moana today and we sang along to the soundtrack and just had an amazing day. She has her birthday party tomorrow with all her little nursery friends and I’ll be on the train back to Brighton...

Last Week at Home

Friday, 5 January 2018

Home for Christmas

I have returned back up North! Last week I left Brighton to go home for Christmas, and I could not be happier. I love University, and my flatmates are the most incredible people but boy, have I missed home! After being away for three months there was no better feeling than cuddling (and sobbing ) my dear mother. Nothing beats a hug from your mam.

Naturally, in order to get to Newcastle, I had to travel to London first. The little part I got to see is beautiful at Christmas, very different from what I saw three months ago upon my arrival. It was very festive, which made me even eager to be home with my family. Three trains later I arrived in Newcastle.

The first two trains were somewhat unpleasant, just busy. It was quite soothing the train from Kingscross, the sound of other geordies picked up my mood.

I love my flatmates but it can be quite overpowering being surrounded by southerners all the time. Especially since they cannot understand me half the time. Whilst being at Brighton there has been quite a few communication issues, here a couple.

1) During freshers, a drunk time for many, I offered a flatmate a can of Dark Fruits, in which I got the response 'why would he want dog food?' - funny but frustrating.

2) I had a job interview, you know how it is with money when you're a student, even if you're not it's that time of year. So my potential employer asks me the usual questions and one being 'what do you do for hobbies' my response being my usual one, I like to write and read- I've had a poem published. He looked at me horrified and responded 'what, you've published porn??' not only was I howling but we were both embarrassed. Once I corrected him, we had a bit banter about it. But,it would be my luck for porn to come up in an interview.

I have been home just a little over a week, my first proper day back I went out to explore. Granted, this wasn't on purpose. I came home from Uni early due to an orthodontics appointment which I had on my phone for half 10 the next morning. I was wrong, it wasn't until half 3 but I didn't find this out until I was already in town.  Going down Brighton definitely has made me appreciate my hometown more, I am embracing my inner commoner. I walked down streets with ease, which in all honesty I haven't done in Brighton yet- mainly because I still have to use Google Maps to get everywhere. With Newcastle it is home, I know it like the back of my hand. No maps needed, no worry just home.

I love Newcastle at Christmas. The stalls are up near monument, foods from different continents fill the air and the busy vibes just make you feel home. Plus, the Christmas shop opens. The shop that pretty much stays closed all year and then when December hits it's the most festive sight ever.

I loved being reunited with my family, my niece especially.  She hugged me so tight and I cried tears of happiness. I hate to be smushy but before Uni we hadn't really been apart since she was born. So, three months was difficult- I was unbelievably homesick but I managed. I love being able to take her to nursery again, putting her to bed and her distracting me with loads of little stories to escape falling asleep. I am back at work, it feels good to be back. I was worried  I had forgotten how to do bets but I had no worries. I am enjoying the familiarity.

I have to say, I do miss my flatmates. In Brighton they are my family, I'm lucky to have that dynamic. I am so close to the girls it is comforting. University is already altering me, my social life as well as the growth of knowledge. My wardrobe has had some changes too- I didn't know what a bralette was before, now I own quite a few! University is an amazing experience, weird but amazing. It is hard, no doubt about that- the workload as well as moving away from home. But, the hardest part is over.

Reunited with my doubled bed- single is shit! 

Home for Christmas

Wednesday, 20 December 2017

The Move ((University))

Aloha!!

As promised here is my Uni post! However, due to there being a lot of content and things to write about I have decided to section things. This way you aren't scrolling down forever plus I have limited free time due to studying. So this post will be about moving to University, how I'm coping and meeting my flatmates and what not- the basics and the beginning. I shall be doing a few Uni posts in the future about different topics such as: Making my room my own, Night Life, Lectures and Seminar tips and just how I am dealing with everything. I may even make Uni posts a weekly thing and my other content just whenever I feel like it. So, let's begin.

Newcastle Central Station

23rd of September I moved to Brighton. At 04:45AM I sobbed farewells to my family and set off down South. After 6 and a half hours of traveling,  a change over in London I arrived at Brighton station, feeling overwhelmed and excited to the core. This was the first time being in the city on my own. I had previously been here with my mother so it was bizarre to be lugging a case figuring out my next step.

I say lugging a case because that's all I came up with, a huge heavy ass case and a bulging backpack. I did this journey alone because for a long time I have had this need to be independent. I was sobbing on the train but decided to spend the majority of my train journey between small naps, drinking hot chocolate and reading a book.

I couldn't pack my entire 19 years of life into a single case so back home I packed everything and got everything I had missed delivered down to me- which has been mighty convenient. Plus I love that feeling of knowing you have a delivery on its way- extremely satisfying. My family is the best! Being so supportive and patient with me- thanks parents for sending my belongings down and surprises!


London was busy, like always. I love London but it's just so rushed. You never get the chance to absorb your surroundings. I was worried when I arrived in London, I had no clue where I was or where to go next. Google Maps- always the answer. To be fair, I was only at Kingross and needed to get to St Pancras International- it is literally around the corner. It was definitely a dumb moment on my part.

From Brighton station, I got into a taxi to my accommodation campus Varley Park. The driver was lovely and advised me on taxi services and student nights out. He essentially was the first person I talked to upon my arrival.

As soon as I had arrived I got my keys, this was very exciting. Into the flat I moved, I met my housemates one by one at various times through the day. I was worried about this-  but I really shouldn't have been. Almost two weeks later and I feel like I have known my 4 flatmates my entire life- they're funny, crazy, slightly alcoholic but most of all the best flatmates  I could have ever asked for. However, we do have some communication issues. Mainly because I am a northerner. There has been a couple of times where what I've said has been mistaken for something else. Last week I offered a flatmate a can of dark fruits- they thought I said dog food. I still laugh at this. The other day, I got a delivery with my hulk (teddy) and I've been excited about it the whole week. I showed him to my flatmates in our group chat, and well. For the entire week, they thought I'd been saying 'hug' they just assumed I named a stuffed animal hug.

I love my room, I am excited to show you guys the transformation.


The first week was crazy, nights out, attending introductory lectures. I think the first week was hard on me, by the weekend I had homesickness swelling in my heart. Every time I FaceTime a family member I come off the phone almost sobbing. I miss Kara, my niece, especially. I miss taking her to nursery, and picking her up. Reading her books before sleeping, and having lazy days watching Moana and Trollz on repeat. I miss her waking me up every morning, just because she wanted to see me. It's strange going from seeing someone every day to literally not being able to see them until December.

I am not as homesick now, but little things make me miss home. Like the other night, we had crumble for pudding, and it instantly made me miss my dad. He makes the best homemade rhubarb crumble known to mankind. Sleeping is still uneasy on me, the first night I slept so much but that was due to exhaustion of traveling and since it's been a few hours here and there. I sleep better through the day than at night. My wonderful mother has sent up my hulk, you will probably see him in the photographs on the next Uni post. He smells of home and he's good to cuddle. My mother also sent up a huge wool blanket she knitted, especially for Uni. I love it so much, I think I would be a mess and even more homesick without it. A little piece of home with me.

I have always known I wanted to move away from home, and I have always anticipated it as this great big adventure, which it is, I just didn't give it a thought about how much I'd actually miss home. I don't regret my decisions, I am excited about the future and I love University. I just think it will take some time to get used to.

Until next week!

The Move ((University))

Saturday, 7 October 2017

Brighton day 3

I am on the coach back to Newcastle, feeling very melancholic about having to leave Brighton. This morning we got up early and had breakfast, and then we went out for a walk along the pebbled beach. It was lovely, I felt so in sync with everything around me. I only hope to have many more walks along the pebbled beach in the future. Of course, we had to go back on the pier. It was fun, I also purchased a pair of pants from a man working from a red phone box, the pants are a mothers day gift for my mother. So, goodbye Brightion, till September!

It is also my 19th today - I am glad I got to spend some of it in Brighton!!

Brighton day 3

Thursday, 23 March 2017

Jar of Happiness

In September I will heading off to University, hopefully Brighton. I know sometimes things get tough and I get a little down some days, and in Brighton I won't have my family or friends I have known for years around me. And I cannot exactly get the train up to Newcastle for a few hours whenever I like because it takes abit of time to get there plus it's quite pricey. And being a student I don't think I will be able to afford £100+ every week to go home, so I will probably be seeing them at Christmas, Easter (maybe) and of course the Summer. I decided for those sad days I will collect happy moments.

If you follow my Instagram (WritingMyHeart) you will have seen this Jar in my feed, I posted a couple weeks ago and I have been wanting to do a blog post including the jar, I have managed to nab some time today to sit down and finally create that blog post.

By the time September comes around I hope to have this jar full, each folded up piece of paper has something written on it. A memory, or a quote, anything that has made me smile. This is essentially a jar filled with happiness. So for those days where I am feeling a bit blue I can reach into the jar and smile at the note. Little notes that will remind of home, friends or even a favourite song I was obsessed with at the time of writing it.

Whilst I am at Brighton, I hope to either get another jar or add to this one the moments that happen at University, the bad and the good and maybe share ti with my family in the Summer or keep them for future moments to look back on.

I found the jar idea on Twitter a couple months back, but for moments that happen over the year and you open and read them on New Years Eve to reflect back on the year you've had. I decided to put a twist and make it for University, it can be difficult being somewhere new, away from home and I want to make that just a little easier for myself.

I bought the jar from the pound shop, and I have a notebook I just write little things on and I tear it out and fold it up, and into the jar it goes. I have added a few more notes since the picture was taken, it feels good to look over at my window and see the jar with the happiness piling up inside. I am hoping to stick with it, I highly recommend creating a jar. It is good when you forget things that happen and then you read about them, and the memories come flooding back, that is one of my favourite feelings in the world!

Jar of Happiness

Saturday, 18 February 2017

Leeds 2.0

Last day, ready to be on the coach for a couple hours. I think a night was enough, any longer and it would have been too much. It was possibly the last trip we will have before we all separate for University. It was short and sweet and we will be in home for Christmas.

Leeds 2.0

Friday, 23 December 2016

Leeds

Today is the day the girls and I travelled from our hometown (Newcastle) to Leeds. W've been planning this trip for a couple month, this trip being a chance for us all to have fun and let loose from college life and our daily norms. Also this time round we have two more people with (unlike the Edinburgh trip in August) Corren and Aiehsa. Today we have had the best time, non stop eating, getting ready going for a meal, having drinks ordering takeout, doing the cha cha slide in our hote room. We our having a blast, and below our some of the many pictures we've taken.

Leeds

Thursday, 22 December 2016

Brew Dog

Sunday I went to Brew Dog. It was my first time there, and oh my. I fell in love with the place instantly, and the pictures in the collage will show you why. It was so unique and mind blowing. The toilets had the 'Brew Dog' on the wall, and inside the cubicles there were shelves with Hairspray on, I literally cannot imagine anything more strangely glamorous. Where we sat, it was so comfy. The sofas were super chill, and the fairy lights, it seemed like a place I could only dream up, only it was real! Needless to say, I will be going back.

Brew Dog

Sunday, 2 October 2016

Weekly Favourites

Weekly Favourites

Sunday, 10 July 2016

Dog and Parrot

I am recovering from last night plenty of water and a good book. The pub was amazing, it was beautiful and I was one hundred percent impressed. The ceiling has record covers over it, the walls had band posters and the music was amazing. Newcastle's only Rock N Roll bar was incredible, I definitely will be spending more drunken nights in there. Due to difficulities and such the night was short, which was annoying but nonetheless I did get drunk pretty fast. The outing was rushed and there was a lot of waiting around for people but I am glad I went all the same. I am hoing to become better acquainted with the place in the near future, by near future I mean all Summer. The atmosphere was fun, and even though the place was quite small it was amazing. My fourteen year old self which dreamed of 'cool' places like this would be screaming in her converse with excitment. Next time I go I think I will go with people who share the same need of wanting to have fun and possibly dangerously drunk. I really wanted to have the time of my life but if I am honest I didn't, no fault of the pubs of course. But I am sure I will make more memories in there with people who actually want to be around me. I have more photos which I will be sharing in tomorrow's weekly favourites. There was an incident at the end of the night which sobered me right up, we went to get food at Townhouse and there were drunk old guys who creeped me the heck out and well we left before getting food and went our separate ways, which resulted in my spending the night alone in a huge house (even though I invitied friends but oh well) with cans and excess food. What a fabulous night...

Dog and Parrot

Saturday, 9 July 2016

Inspired

Today for Media I had to take out the camera, but had to get batteries first. So through town I went not really paying much attention, I knew were I was going so it was simply A to B. Once I obtained (the pokemon...) the batteries I slowly made my way back to college, but on the way I noticed something. I noticed how beautiful my home city really is. In the blur of life and being used to something you forget to see it's beauty, you take it for granted without a second thought. So my walk gradually got slower and my eyes wider. My city is pretty stunning! It inspired me, very much! For the next week so I'm going to explore my city, I'm going to photograph all the little moments and all the pretty places. I haven't done proper photography in a long time and well it's well overdue. I have the camera, and I'm inspired and that's all I really need! For the next week beginning tomorrow every blog post will have a photograph with it, one taking mine by me. As I explore my beautiful city,  you can to.

Inspired

Tuesday, 12 January 2016

The Best Weekend - Ever!!

Friday - After watching the hilarious Pitch Perfect 2

Saturday - Shopping

I have had the most incredible weekend! My best friend from Manchester came up to Newcastle, and the past three days have been the best days I have had in a long time. It was so good to see her after months. It was

Sunday - Kaspars 

fun, hilarious and a completely girly weekend. I feel like words cannot really describe how great it has been so maybe the pictures will do the talking!

Oreo Sundae - NOM

Saturday Primark

Red Berry - Starbucks is a must when shopping

I went out three days in a row, this is rare I usually go out with friends once every few months or something, yeah I'm not a huge fan of going out, this weekend was the perfect exception.

Buys things from New Look takes picture in Primark

The Best Weekend - Ever!!

Monday, 1 June 2015