Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Before we hit into the '20s (the decade I have been excited for) I want to reflect on the decade we are leaving behind. The most important decade of my life so much has happened I have gone from child all way through my teens and to adulthood. I have met so many amazing people in this decade, people I know who will be my life long best friends, new family members - two nieces and a nephew as well as two step-nephews and a step-niece. My best friend Kara was born in 2014 and we have been inseparable since. I can proudly say I have friends in each direction o
f the UK and even some abroad.
This decade has not been easy, I have faced grief like I have never felt before. I have loved and lost, but I am recovering. I started high school and finished high school. Did the sixth form thing, for three years instead of two. I flew the nest and moved from Newcastle to Brighton. I came out to my family and friends and learned that whatever or whoever you like does not define you. I learned to value home and family more, and I learned to stand on my own two feet.  I have shed many (and I mean many) tears but I have also laughed so much. Some of my best memories have been during this decade, I travelled to Holland, Spain and Egypt. I visited places not so far from home: Edinburgh, Brighton, London, Manchester, Devon and Cornwall. 
I have learned more about myself, I've watched myself change and become someone a younger me would look up to. I have found the love of writing during this decade, I created this blog. I made a Sims Gaming YouTube. I have found love in fictional worlds. I have learned that life is a journey and that sometimes it takes people a little longer to get where they are going. Life is not a race, it is about focusing on yourself and watching where you're going, and everyone else around you you should be supportive of their journey.
I would do my usual thing and make resolutions for the following year but this time I don't want to do that. I want to make promises to myself. Promises to love myself, in whatever stage my body is at. I promise to my kinder to myself. I promise to have more fun, more risks and things to look forward to. If this decade has taught me anything it is that my mental health is just as important as my physical health, I promise to take care of my thoughts and to know when enough is enough. This decade I have met my limits and that wasn't always fun. But this decade I promise to take care, even if it is in the smallest of things.
I hope you reading this, you have an amazing 2020. Party like Gatsby or chill alone in your own swamp like Shrek. Do what is good for you. Happy New Year. 

The end of a Decade

Tuesday, 31 December 2019


Just over a week ago I travelled down South to Alton for a week. It was to celebrate a friend’s birthday, it was such a lovely week! My favourite day has to be when we visited Jane Austen’s house. Naturally, as an English student it was must I visited her childhood house when I got the chance. Truth be told I have not read as many of Jane Austen novel’s as I would have liked to but I have faith my degree will soon change that.
It was such a lovely experience to visit the house Austen grew up in.  The house itself was quite lovely.  We got the chance to dress up too, which was a blast!  We didn’t take the visit all too serious, otherwise, I don’t think it would have been as enjoyable. On the day we visited there were quite a few tourists (including myself) we figured this would be because the day we visited was close the anniversary of Austen’s death. I was pleasantly surprised to find that a few of the other tourists were American.
Myself and Tiana

It was lovely to see the house kept well and museum like. The house is in Chawton if you ever feel inspired to visit, I understand it can be a required interest. The garden was my favourite part, so beautiful kept.

We also got to make little lavender bags and I tried writing with a quill. Much harder than I had anticipated. There was this notice board, which I regret not taking a picture of. People wrote little notes (like mine above) an attached it the board, it was so lovely to read and look at. 

I adored how walking into her house felt like I was walking back in time. Things looked and felt so different to the current society we live in.

There were lots of really cool things to look at and learn about, like the desk Jane Austen used to write at. I liked how spread across the site you would find different copies of her books that you were able to read if you wanted to.






It was just a really cool day, finished off with a pint and a burger in a pub across the road! If you want to check out more images and things from my trip down south follow me on my Instagram!

Jane Austen’s House!!

Wednesday, 25 July 2018


In September I will heading off to University, hopefully Brighton. I know sometimes things get tough and I get a little down some days, and in Brighton I won't have my family or friends I have known for years around me. And I cannot exactly get the train up to Newcastle for a few hours whenever I like because it takes abit of time to get there plus it's quite pricey. And being a student I don't think I will be able to afford £100+ every week to go home, so I will probably be seeing them at Christmas, Easter (maybe) and of course the Summer. I decided for those sad days I will collect happy moments.

If you follow my Instagram (WritingMyHeart) you will have seen this Jar in my feed, I posted a couple weeks ago and I have been wanting to do a blog post including the jar, I have managed to nab some time today to sit down and finally create that blog post.

By the time September comes around I hope to have this jar full, each folded up piece of paper has something written on it. A memory, or a quote, anything that has made me smile. This is essentially a jar filled with happiness. So for those days where I am feeling a bit blue I can reach into the jar and smile at the note. Little notes that will remind of home, friends or even a favourite song I was obsessed with at the time of writing it.

Whilst I am at Brighton, I hope to either get another jar or add to this one the moments that happen at University, the bad and the good and maybe share ti with my family in the Summer or keep them for future moments to look back on.

I found the jar idea on Twitter a couple months back, but for moments that happen over the year and you open and read them on New Years Eve to reflect back on the year you've had. I decided to put a twist and make it for University, it can be difficult being somewhere new, away from home and I want to make that just a little easier for myself.

I bought the jar from the pound shop, and I have a notebook I just write little things on and I tear it out and fold it up, and into the jar it goes. I have added a few more notes since the picture was taken, it feels good to look over at my window and see the jar with the happiness piling up inside. I am hoping to stick with it, I highly recommend creating a jar. It is good when you forget things that happen and then you read about them, and the memories come flooding back, that is one of my favourite feelings in the world!




Jar of Happiness

Saturday, 18 February 2017

I get caught up thinking about some or the 'crazy' things I've done, or possibly will do. The possible consequences or effects or how it makes me look takes over my mind. It wasn't until today a friend said to me "You're eighteen have fun you can do all this crazy shit it's good" and she was right. I am eighteen, it's the time in my life where I'm allowed to be outrageous and do stupid shit like, if not now when? When I have  a mortgage to pay and spend most of my time working? It will be too late then. Sure this year is important and I need make sure I get the grades and be the best me I can, but that doesn't mean I can't have fun and do crazy shit like getting drunk, snogging guys the first time I meet them or getting little tattoos which I adore. Life is busy and hectic, and sure still being in the education system can be time consuming but don't forget to take a little time out, I'm not saying neglect responsibility but don't forget to live a little, laugh we are young, now is the time to do dumb shit and make memories.

Make Memories

Thursday, 8 September 2016

I found an old memory stick of mine the other day, and on it was just music. Many songs that I used to love so over the past few days I have been rekindling with them, and it's weird how a song can caputure a moment, a feeling, and every time you hear that song these memories are triggered. I suddenly remember old friends and stupid things we used to do. Music is powerful, it is captivated and it can make you feel so much. Certain songs just make me happy to the point I could dance, and I don't dance.

Songs

Friday, 29 January 2016

Admittedly I haven't really done much today, I have spent a lot of hours on Sims. It's pretty addictive! I am now settling down for the night, and tonight's Christmas film is Home Alone! Yes, everyone knows of the infamous Home Alone films.
 I was once left at home, not for a long period of time but we were moving house and as a kid I liked to check I left nothing behind in my bedroom and then when I returned downstairs it was empty, no one there. I stood at the front door, which was now locked sobbing my little heart out, luckily enough my family noted my absence several minutes after before driving away. I laugh now, it is funny. At the age I was (I cannot remember)  fear struck. I didn't want to be trapped on my own, I still don't now, obviously. 
When you're young you're naive, fearful and very close minded. Well I was, I had the most outrageous fears and I still do now, like my huge fear of ghosts and being possessed. 
I hope you liked my little true anecdote, and well happy four days!

4 Days To Go

Monday, 21 December 2015

Currently as a Seventeen year old, I am near the end of my first year in college.  As it's apparent I'm at a crucial stage in my life, trying to figure what to do next and what sort of career I should work towards.

I'm not sure what career exactly I want to pursue, I do however know I want it to be purely writing based (hopefully creative).  I feel like writing is my calling, it is something I get pure joy from and well it is my escape from the real world.

Some may think I'm too young to understand the art of writing, and maybe I am. However, I love the power words have, and how if your sentences are structured in a way you can make someone feel something, and that is what I believe what writing is. Making your reader feel something, taking them different places, either making them witness something or if you're simply teaching them a lesson or two.

It's funny as the clock ticks by so does our life... second by second.
I believe I can began writing in year six, they were only short stories and I hadn't taken any of seriously.  Also it they were sort of involuntary, my English teacher she always set my homework as writing short stories, she'd give me titles and I went home sat at wooden dining room table, wracked my imagination and wrote several short stories at a time. She'd set titles in advance, however I was always too excited and wrote for hours until I was unable to write no more.

To this day I remember a few of them, sadly it seems as the years have passed I have misplaced the actual textbook which held all of them in. The two short stories I remember the most were The Magic Pen and Shipwrecked.


A brief description of both short stories;

The Magic Pen - A girl goes into a stationary shop looking for a new pen to write in her diary with. There are plenty to choose from, however one catches her eye as it glows at her, and her only.  Drawn to the pen she bought it and took it home. Only at home she sees her boyfriend making out with her best friend in her street, this angers her which causes the pen to glow, in anger she holds the pen and her imagination goes wild, therefore suddenly a monster appears in the street and attacks her best friend. Feeling guilty and terrible, she reverses the act with the magic pen and decides she will only use it for writing and doing good things with. - In recent years I have become tempted to work on this and develop it, it shall be done soon, it is in the pile.

Shipwrecked - A cruise on a glittery pink boat (don't ask), the engine conks out basically and the ship crashes, passengers black out some just disappear on the island. There is a group of people, they find each other and basically they have to survive on the island, learning new skills, to build shelters, hunt for food etc. They try to get help, but eventually doing SOS with rocks and making plenty of fire signals, they are rescued by aircraft.  - I remembering writing and reading this out in front of my class, I enjoyed it and they appeared to as well. In recent times I have wrote a poem based on this short story of mine, maybe it will be shared in the future.

Although that was when I started writing creatively, I hadn't thought of anything of it, nor did I think it could be possible to make a career out of it. 

Then came along high school - very confusing time- nonetheless this is where my love for writing developed. In my first year of high school, it soon became evident that the only lesson I really enjoyed was English, the others I just dragged my heels through for five years. I got English, it worked for me and it was personally the best lesson I ever had. In my first year, my teacher got us to read Face and Skellig, both brilliant books. I remember really enjoying Face, the teen fiction and how it made me feel, my love for that book has carried on to this day. I believe Face was the first good book I ever read and loved, it sparked an interest in me, later I found myself beginning to write teen fiction, inspired by what I had once read.

In that year seven class, we got a task to write a story, a horror, well as horror as a year seven child can produce. I remember sitting in my seat bursting with excitement, only I didn't just want to do horror I decided to make my characters teenagers, at the time of course I wasn't actually aware of teen fiction or the genre, but nonetheless I was drawn to it. I was very enthusiastic about the story it was called The Black Cat I remember refusing to put my pen down at the end of the lesson, I didn't want to leave my book behind, all I wanted to do was write - which I did and soon enough I wrote the short story perhaps many pages longer than my teacher had intended.

The Black Cat - Good luck or bad luck?
The story wasn't my finest, but I can say that now seven years later, however younger me adored it. My main character, she goes about her day again she had a boyfriend, and well every now and then there is a sudden appearance of this black cat, it always appeared before something bad was about to happen, basically later her boyfriend was caught kissing another girl, and well the girl was bullied to the point she ran away from school, with the black cat almost leading her away. She found herself crying in this graveyard, and she read a rock with a date of death but no name on it. She was lead into this haunted house, where she became trapped. When in the house, it was normal until she was washing her face with water, turned into blood. She turned around to find one of her friends hanging dead behind her, so as it was she found her friends one by one dead. Until she tries to escape she meets the black cat, only to be stood near this demonic girl, purple face mucky face, pure evil. The main character basically escapes, and runs to police, only when the police check the place out nothing is there, no bodies just an empty old house. The girl is taken to a mental institution as everyone believes she has gone crazy, and one day the girl sees the black cat again, which by this time she realised it signified a warning. The evil girl appears, and basically burns the hospital down.
 

A work of fiction, I still have this story actually. Also I noticed the reoccurring theme of cheating or abandonment no idea why thought, although I have always enjoyed writing sad things. I thought as it being probably my first story, well it was longer than the ones I had wrote in year six, I kept it to look back on, and compare how much I have developed as a writer. That was pretty much the start of the blossoming writer inside of me. I wrote a little afterwards, but since that story and having read Face Ifound something that interested me, thanks to my year seven English teacher I found my muse.

A year or two later, I made new friends. People who were like minded who were creative. To this day I am still friends with these people, their creative and supportive influence has helped me a lot through the years. I think it was year eight or nine when I began to read more, if you ever tried to find me I would either be in the school's library picking my next book or sitting along the corridor somewhere with my head in a book, I'm not even kidding I used to come into school early just to spend my time reading, even in between classes and sometimes in class - maybe that's why I never really understood geography!

In those times of reading I was inspired, I had read The Morganville series by Rachel Caine, they were the most enticing books I had ever read. I adored the way she used words to catch her readers, the way her descriptions made me feel that I was right there, I really enjoyed reading those books, they were romantic,  teen fiction and included vampires, it is safe to say I was in love. Anyway this lead me to write my first full story, with chapters and everything. It was of course Vampire, Romance and teen fiction, by all means it may have shared the same genres as The Morganville series it was very different from it. It was called Modern Vampire, to this day I'm still proud of it, as it was then I decided I wanted to be an author. I liked what I wrote, I even had an audience, my peers and teachers read what I wrote. My best friend introduced me to wattpad.com - for those who haven't heard of it it's an online reading and writing community, it is incredible and it isn't just for teens. - Also some wattpadders have been scouted by publishers, unfortunately I'm not one of them.

I started posting my work on there in 2012, and to this day I still post my work on wattpad. The story Modern Vampire, I completed and it had an audience, however I later removed it from the website - due to doubts I was having about it being any good. In the past year or I've been working and developing the story, tweaking bits adding to it, and so I have been posting a new version chapter by chapter, and I must say that there is a huge difference.

Wattpad is like youtube but for books!

Personally I'm not wattpad famous, but I've been on it a while to know what I'm doing. My highest success on wattpad would be my 2012 story - Falling For The Geek - I can honestly say now that it isn't my best work however it is my post popular, currently sitting in with 137,003 reads ~ I'm not bragging quite frankly I feel awkward talking about numbers and what I've achieved. I am happy with that of course what I have achieved, I love writing and it's nice to know many people have read my work.

I've found that I'm not one trick pony, I like to explore other genres, on the site I have poetry, fan fiction, romance, vampire, teen fiction, random. I go under the name 'WritingMyHeart' I use this for everything, mainly because it's true. The work reflects the writer.

Since Modern Vampire I have wrote several stories, and over the years those around me and myself have noticed developments.

In the last few years of high school, English got better and better. We got into more books and well the creative writing tasks were my all time favourite, I remember when handing my work to my English teacher, pages and pages and her words every time would "Here we go, Lauren has wrote me a novel again" I was always writing too much, mainly because I got carried away and couldn't stop myself, once by creative juices are flowing nothing can stop me.

Now that I have just finished my first year in college/ sixth form I'm faced with questions, and doubts. I know I want a writing based career, writing is what I enjoy the most. It is the only thing I can see myself doing in the future.  I've been studying English Literature, Media Studies and Photography - mainly because I was thinking about journalism, however I've sort of changed my mind but I have kept the door open in case I change my mind. I love Literature, reading and analysing books; reading in between the lines it is incredible.

The leap from GCSE to A Level has been tremendous and even difficult at times, however I'm ploughing through at the end of the day I am still writing.

My first post, I thought I ought to tell you all about me well my love for writing and where it came from. Thank you for reading this, what sparked your muse?



First post, first imperssion?

Sunday, 24 May 2015