Last night with my partner we were on a date, an unhealthy one with amazing milkshakes, bowling and then later McDonald's. After bowling we went into the photo booth and took some snaps, and I'm so in love with him and the photos just looking at us makes me genuinely happy.
Until, despite the photographs bringing me happiness they stung me. When the date was over and returned home I began staring at the photograph. Seeing myself, and noticing just how much weight I've gained, I've been feel self conscious lately, and last night I honestly broke down. I can look at the photograph and feel giddy about how amazing he is, and how happy good we are together, but that's with ignoring the fact I'm not happy with how I look.
I want to be healthier, I want to feel and look good and I just want to look in my reflection and be in love with myself like I am with my partner. Sure I can take loads of selfies, and post them to Instagram, but those are of my face. I can't help but notice the parts of me that I dislike in the photographs. So I was on the phone to him, and telling him my thoughts and I was asking questions about my body and how I see it and if he sees it differently and what not.
He helped me and I've been talking for ages about getting my shit together, and he helped realise it's not too late, I can be happy with myself. I can join a gym and eat better and feel good about myself, and it feels so good to have someone who just wants me to be happy. He's being super supportive, and motivating me. So, as this is going on my blog it makes it official (in my mind) I am starting a health kick, reducing the junk food, adding in more fruit and veg and become reintroduced to the gym.
This is for me and only me, so I can feel better about myself, more energy and life. I want to love my body, and I want to feel confident, I'm not happy with how I am and it's about time I did something about it.
To the side is me now, this is the beginning of my health kick and I am determined to be healthier; physically, mentally and emotionally!
