I handed you your present with a kiss
I spoke those three words to you for the first time-
a year later I can longer see you
What was love that filled me a year ago today
is sorrow, grief and lonely replaced on your birthday.
Hearts of who knew you ache
I knew that then you would hold a place in my heart
and today I am certain I will never be able to forget.
For my first love, was the best and worst love I-
I know I will ever know.
Meeting so pleasantly and you leaving so dangerously
and now here we both are.
I moved down the country and you moved under the earth
And I am sorry.
his birthday
Tuesday, 28 November 2017
It's the hot cloud blackening a clear blue sky, it's the cool air turning toxic thick as it wraps its paws around a throat. It's chocking till a person is on the floor withering in a panic. It's the swelling of the world becoming too big for a minute soul. It's watching a clock but seeing only fate come closer, the numbers yelling guilt as the hands bang against a chest like a viscious trombone. It's only seeing selfishness without the selflessness behind it.
It's like dipping a toe into a blue lagoon that shimmers with its reflection from above. It's wanting to run into the wild fields and keep running. It's also wanting to fully immerse yourself into the holy water that you know you will only taint. It's a magnet, both attracting and repelling. It's the sun blaring kindness but your soul bounding you sorrowfully to the squelching mud beneath you.
It's running fearlessy into a maze only to be imprisoned in tears between four walls. It's staring into a mirror and not knowing who is looking back. It's sitting under a hollow tree, finding comfort in the balcony of leaves above. It's not wanting to leave but having to go. It's like walking onto an empty road, not knowing to turn right or left or wait for someone else who is on the same journey to ask them. It's being free but being trapped by your surroundings. Invisible chains disguised as specks of dust.
It's running into the distance till breathing is the only surrounding sound. It's twirling until the ground beneath is an unsteady pulse. It's a heavy heart on weak shoulders. It's wanting to do everything but being unable to complete nothing.
Rest in Peace Jonny
Grief
Saturday, 24 June 2017
Hiya!
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