Laugh

Laugh until you can't breathe
Until air becomes foreign.
Laugh loud
Loud like there is no one around.

Laugh because you can
Because it is the best thing for you.
Forget the shit going on
Shit doesn't matter.

Laugh until your eyes water
Until you can't laugh anymore.
Let it fill you up
Fill you up like the sun fills the sky.

Laugh at the world around you
At the obscure and wonderful life.
Allow the laughter to consume you
Laughter truly is the best medicine.

Laugh

Tuesday, 23 February 2016

White Walls

The floors are white
they are coherent with the light.
Everywhere is filled with clean
your souls screech on the floor so mean.

The smell is strong
to like it would feel wrong.
You find yourself looking from left to right
wondering when or whose going to put up a fight.

You feel like you don't belong
almost like you're in a music video of some song.
Everything seems so fake
just for the professions sake.

This  place that I am at
a white bench that I'm sat.
White on the walls
doors and especially the floors.

White Walls

Saturday, 26 December 2015

Creativity?

What is Creativity?
 I personally believe creativity coincides with your imagination. Creativity is the true expression of yourself. It is an escape, and an indistinguishable feeling.

Are you creative? If so how and why?
I am creative. My imagination is my portal into other worlds, its my ticket to adventures and expressing myself, truly expressing myself. Creativity takes me from everyday life, it pulsates through me as my hand moves twenty to a dozen with a pen across a page. It's my never ending thoughts and day dreams where I am never really truly present, instead I am thought deep is stories and imaginative plots.

Where do you write?
I physically write whenever I feel like it, if it be when I am in a library, on a bus or my usual place of thought in my bedroom. My writing is in journals, my blog, many word documents and wattpad. My laptop gives me access to all of it.

When is the best time for writing?
The best time for me to write is usually midday, it isn't too early nor too late. My inspirations and inklings of ideas same to reach almost always around midday, plus it is when I feel best.

How often do you write?
I write on a daily basis, pretty much most days. If it be a blog post, a journal entry, or even a paragraph or two on one of my stories. Writing plays a huge part in my life and happiness, so I try to do as much as it as I possibly can.

Some questions I answered, all personal answers. If you were asked these questions what would be your answers?

Creativity?

Thursday, 24 September 2015

Perfect weekend?

A little recap of my day, woken up with cuddles from my niece, lovely as always. We then met my brother in town, and the four us (me, niece, sister and brother) had breakfast then went to soft play. It was delightful, chasing a child around and through the soft play for over an hour felt like a full blown work out! Later we dropped my niece at her dads and we tidied my sisters house, by this time my brother went home. My sister prepared for her weekend away for her birthday. I tidied, we went to the shop. I got lucky and won a fiver on a scratch card, it isn't much but I think it's a sign of good weekend ahead. Fast forward, sister left with her boyfriend so I'm house/dog/cat/reptile sitting for the weekend. I tidied the whole house, now ready to chill. Just ordered Pizza (sinful to say at the least) Pal (dog) is chilling with me and we even have one of my favourite movies/musicals on Burlesque!! A good weekend is a must for me? I think Chicago is next after Burlesque!!

Perfect weekend?

Friday, 28 August 2015

Change

Change, what does it mean to me?

Personally it can only mean one of two thins depending on the situation; Disastrous or a  God-Send! I generally don't like change, naturally because I can be quite awkward and anti-social, I'm also a very anxious person so I don't really mix well with change that I don't like. But I will go into detail about both opinions and the type of scenarios I do and don't like change.

Disastrous change

See if I'm put in a place I don't know, like a classroom filled with strangers or people I'm not close to, or even having to sit next to opposite sex, or just being in a change where I'm not comfortable. It's horrible, this kind of change is no good to me.

If I'm in one of the above scenarios, I will not being able to keep myself together, I will sit nervous, scared and ready to break any second. I will be aware of everything, slightly paranoid too. I will feel self conscious and think that everyone is judging me or thinking bad things about me. I just can't help it.

It takes me a while to adapt to change, if it disastrous change I will try everything to avoid it. Like think of an excuse, any excuse I would use it to avoid being a part of that change.

If something doesn't go to plan, change generally throws me off. I like to be a routine sometimes, I don't like change if I'm not content and comfortable.

If you're a teacher and thinking about putting me next to that dude, trust me your lesson may as well be non-existent. If I'm in that uncomfortable change I don't like then trust me you probably won't see m in 98% of your lessons until another change is made suitably.

People probably think I am being selfish or just picky, but I can't help it. I need to be comfortable, I'm not myself otherwise. Although I am open to change, I will try and give it a chance.

Disastrous. I don't like sudden change, maybe if it's an ease towards it then that would help. I prefer most things to stay the same, I like to know things are stable and then I can get used to them.

Moving house is a change, changing school is one too. These are the most common change, in my opinion. If I move to an area with loads of people my age or younger than is a disastrous change for me, I'm not really good with most people, I like to stay in small groups to be honest. But if I live somewhere quite then I'm content, it depends on how the place and house and area effects me.

Changing school is always disastrous. I always feel like I have to be more, I always have a fear that the change will be bad and I will left alone, which is of course always a possibility.

I just don't like to be uncomfortable, I like to happy and okay with my surroundings. I don't like being a part of things I don't know.

Here's an extreme example of a Disastrous change;

If I had to live without something close to me, or see if I had lost my imagination that would be so hard for me, that change would be nothing but a nightmare.

It's hard talking about change, cause there is so much to it and different aspect to it.

God-Send Change

This kind of change is rare for me. Literally rare.

My recent change is moving house, it's quite and small and the best place I've lived so far. This change is good.

I think if I can handle and like the change I can adapt to it well. There are those times when I get sick of things, doing the same thing. Then change it good, if it benefits me it's good. Change can be good and all but then again it can also be bad.

If the change is positive then I'm positive, if it's not I am doomed, literally.

I'm one of those people that if I'm put into a change I don't like, I tend to shut down, avoid and ignore it and pretend it never happened, that's just who I am.

I like to think I'm open minded, but I am just cautious with everything and generally think about everything. I'm a thinker and I think that because I dwell on thoughts and read too much into things then that's perhaps why I'm not so well with change.

Don't get me wrong, I won't walk away before trying it, and I guess that is what matters. I can change writing things, I can change the way I look but generally my change is always looking to make things better.

I like the change that suits me, a change that makes me content, a change that brings out the best of my abilities and personality

Sometimes I look for change, even if it is a small change, it's pleasing. I prefer the little things rather to the big things.

I like the idea of changing my lifestyle, only to better, feel better. If I don't like something I will change it, I'm willing to make changes to make life and things better,

If you're happy then you must be doing something right.

General change

Things change everyday, to everyone. Some changes are just more noticeable.

Change means different things to everyone, it effects us all differently. We all have our own thing going on, I just think that you should let people make that change for themselves and don't do it for them.

We all need to consider each other, we need to take into account not everyone will act or react the way you do. I think if you're going to make a change do it for you, and you only. Don't make changes for others, just for yourself. Sometimes you just have to put yourself first.

Change

Saturday, 15 August 2015

Reality

-FICTIONAL ORIGINAL DRAMATIC TEENAGE SERIES-

Hellur, hi.

So here YOU are reading my words, or just pretending to read them. You're here just to be nebby, take pity and laugh at tyyypical me; Maddy Clash. Yes Clash is my last name, don't even bother laughing, yes it's ironc I knowww; I CLASH WITH EVERYTHING!! Kind of like a bull mixed with an elephant in a china shop, but only instead of the china shop just life in general.

You're probably wondering 'WHAT EVEN ARE YOU YOU WEIRD CREATURE?"

Well, don't even get me started on that, I've asked this upteenth times. I wonder what accent you're reading this out in? I betchaa wondering what am I talking about? Well you're the first. I have  scummy laddish accent, but no I'm not  a lad, I get mistaken as one but I am not one... well I wasn't when I last checked. One second... Nope I'm not!

You're here to read me, read me like a book... ironic, I'm getting good with these puns. I am Maddy Clash and I'm here to sort your head out, and my own head of course. You may notice I'm not all there, or here.

You read things and see things. THEY AREN'T REAL, GET THAT STUPID ASS IDEA OUT OF YOUR HEART RIGHT NOW! I am the reality of the lies plastered on screen and put into words. Happy endings are good and all but come on that is just not how life goes!

I will tell and show exactly what those movies and books don't tell you, you can be my diary and I will feed you information, in a like a series sort of, each time I post a reality chapter,a different topic each time, we've only just met and I'm being nice.... don't worry it won't last long, I promise!

This is just telling you how things are gonna go, don't mind my short text.... I'm not posh you know?

Also if I offend you, tough. I'm wallowing in my own self pity of expeirences, you're just here to peek and join the ride, you know what? You may even learn a thing or too!

I have so much I can say, but I don't want to. Not right now, time will come, time will come. I bet I'm coming across as creep, well I'm not!

You wanna know what I'm thinking don't you? Well that's just tough cause most of the time I don't even know what I'm thinking. Reality, it's me being real with you.

Not sugar coating the crap, not making myself to be something I'm not. I could tell you I'm a babe and everyone loves me but I'm not, I'm the opposite. You're probably judging me right now, shame on you. I'm being real and right now I'm in your head, yes your head wooooooooooo. Well technically now you're in my head, it's dark in there isn't it? See what I have to put up with?

I'm the reality of everything, I am that victim that everyone hates, I'm that person you don't know, I'm that virgin that will never get a boyfriend. I'm that person who doesn't feel happiness. And for you? You I don't know who you are.

I'm no good at this introducing myself kinda crap, I ramble on but I'm guessing you're thinking; LIES YOU DONT RAMBLE ON. Do you think I'm crazy? Do you think I'm insane? Here I am talking to myself... hmmm. I am crazy, I am insane. Yet here you are reading, watching and feeling me... wait that last bit... forget I said anything

You should stay, stay with me and hear what I've got to say, what harm can it do afterall? I have a lot to say, ALOT!

Since you're here, I measly well tell ya about something I will talk about; Girls, boys, sex, movies, music, love, hate,crying,food, fat and everything teenager.

I bet you're ready to give up  on me, go on then. GO! It's not like I am not used to is, I am the lost cause no one writes about, so here I am writing about myself; how sad? But that just sums be up doesn't it? It's okay you can agree, I've heard a lot worse!

Oh right back to me... sorry I was drueling over Matt. No not my boyfriend, HA BOYFRIEND WHAT EVEN IS THAT? Matt, from that band, the 1975, he hawt. Surrounded my fine male specimen right now... NO NOT HUMAN CONTACT, DAMN YOU PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ME! I mean my posters; there's Zac, a bit of Dave Franco, oooo there is Zayn. Anyways...

Currently I am alone... well I have my posters so I'm not alone. In that case I'm surrounded by beautiful people, we're all dancing, Ima great dancer. There is noise downstairs, everyone's downstair, execpt me. It's okay I love being alone, talking to myself, dancing with posters and stuffing my face with Doritios, this is the life for me. NOTE THE SARCASM.

Am I being rude? I would say sorry but in reality no one cares. I don't care, I probably won't even read over this, how good am I to you? Sharing my crap thoughts and feelings unedited, I am a good person.

'First Impressions are key' well I have well and trully *@"£$% things up, oh well.

I bet you're wondering what I look like? Well I don't look like you. I bet you've got lovely eyes, a nice smile and a blooming personaility? GOOD FOR YOU! You've got it easy, it must be nice to be pretty and just likeable. BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH - Sorry that was me puking, I looked into my reflection for too long... whoooops?

Why do I even bother to babble on? I gotta go, my so called hectic life is rushing me off my feet, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. I'm funny, that joke was hileraious, no but I am going just cause I'm even too awkward in my own stupid head, damnnn, You may hear from me later probably rambling on about girls or some other crap.

Bye, chow, Au reviour ugh I fail at life, traaaaa. nope. Bye

Reality

Thursday, 2 July 2015

Darkness

Despite all chances the light ripped through the forest

Have you ever been trapped by darkness, emotional darkness. It's contagious, once you feel is once it tends to stay a little while.  Sometimes it feels like a virus; you're stuck with it for life... It is sometimes camouflaged, hiding in the back of your mind ready to be flagged up at any given time.

The darkness can be overpowering, it can weaken us until we feel like we are nothing, nothing but a waste of space and time.  It's like a constant cloud within you,
 

You feel like you're falling, falling further and further into nothingness. You feel trapped, uneasy and unable of a single spec of happiness. You believe it will last forever, but you are wrong. It won't last forever, it simply can't. You have to be strong, don't let that darkness drive you. The light will become evident, even if it's just a spark, a singular spark in the darkness. You  better grasp it with both hands, and let it fill you. Soon enough there will be more than just a sparking splitting your darkness in two.

Darkness

Thursday, 28 May 2015