Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Before we hit into the '20s (the decade I have been excited for) I want to reflect on the decade we are leaving behind. The most important decade of my life so much has happened I have gone from child all way through my teens and to adulthood. I have met so many amazing people in this decade, people I know who will be my life long best friends, new family members - two nieces and a nephew as well as two step-nephews and a step-niece. My best friend Kara was born in 2014 and we have been inseparable since. I can proudly say I have friends in each direction o
f the UK and even some abroad.
This decade has not been easy, I have faced grief like I have never felt before. I have loved and lost, but I am recovering. I started high school and finished high school. Did the sixth form thing, for three years instead of two. I flew the nest and moved from Newcastle to Brighton. I came out to my family and friends and learned that whatever or whoever you like does not define you. I learned to value home and family more, and I learned to stand on my own two feet.  I have shed many (and I mean many) tears but I have also laughed so much. Some of my best memories have been during this decade, I travelled to Holland, Spain and Egypt. I visited places not so far from home: Edinburgh, Brighton, London, Manchester, Devon and Cornwall. 
I have learned more about myself, I've watched myself change and become someone a younger me would look up to. I have found the love of writing during this decade, I created this blog. I made a Sims Gaming YouTube. I have found love in fictional worlds. I have learned that life is a journey and that sometimes it takes people a little longer to get where they are going. Life is not a race, it is about focusing on yourself and watching where you're going, and everyone else around you you should be supportive of their journey.
I would do my usual thing and make resolutions for the following year but this time I don't want to do that. I want to make promises to myself. Promises to love myself, in whatever stage my body is at. I promise to my kinder to myself. I promise to have more fun, more risks and things to look forward to. If this decade has taught me anything it is that my mental health is just as important as my physical health, I promise to take care of my thoughts and to know when enough is enough. This decade I have met my limits and that wasn't always fun. But this decade I promise to take care, even if it is in the smallest of things.
I hope you reading this, you have an amazing 2020. Party like Gatsby or chill alone in your own swamp like Shrek. Do what is good for you. Happy New Year. 

The end of a Decade

Tuesday 31 December 2019

Tomorrow I head back to Brighton, it’s been a marvellous three weeks at home but I have to say: I’ve missed the Uni life! 

Today is my Niece’s fourth birthday, I couldn’t miss it for the world hence why I’m going tomorrow. My last week at home has been wonderful and bizarre. I’ve seen my best friends, had some valuable bonding time with my family, got an amazing new tattoo, spend lots of time with my double bed before our departure, and today my sister and niece talked me into dying my hair. 


 
I’m in love with my tattoo, my tattooist Demi Patten is so talented! It’s getting finished at the end of the month, colour added as well as getting another new tattoo! Janaury is looking like a good month! 

The hair dye situation, it was supposed to be just the underneath but it messed up. From what should have been underneath has leaked into my whole hair. I was freaking out at first but I’m warming to it.


No doubt I will change it in a couple weeks and go back to my original hair colour brown! 

Loved spending the day with my niece, I can’t believe she’s four. Four years she has been my little best friend, we wind each other up and make each other laugh like their is no tomorrow. 



She dressed up as Moana today and we sang along to the soundtrack and just had an amazing day. She has her birthday party tomorrow with all her little nursery friends and I’ll be on the train back to Brighton...


Last Week at Home

Friday 5 January 2018

MERRY CHRISTMAS


I won't drag on, I just want to wish you all well. Love, kindness and happiness- just a reminder to radiate these things. It's the little things that make Christmas special. Today for me it was watching my niece have fun and open her presents and playing for hours, that made me smile. My niece and I got given matching necklaces, they were silly and had little Me 2 U bears on with a jigsaw piece on each. Hers had best and mine friend, it was a small gift but means the absolute world to me. My family were beyond thoughtful with their gifts to me, some even made me cry. It isn't about gifts though, not really. This year I realized life is too short, and I have really learned to value family more than ever. Today was amazing because I got to see the majority of my family, and having all those familiar faces laughing in one room- a person could not wish for anything better. From me to you, Merry Christmas, happy holidays- stay safe and well!

from me to you

Monday 25 December 2017

I have returned back up North! Last week I left Brighton to go home for Christmas, and I could not be happier. I love University, and my flatmates are the most incredible people but boy, have I missed home! After being away for three months there was no better feeling than cuddling (and sobbing ) my dear mother. Nothing beats a hug from your mam.

Naturally, in order to get to Newcastle, I had to travel to London first. The little part I got to see is beautiful at Christmas, very different from what I saw three months ago upon my arrival. It was very festive, which made me even eager to be home with my family. Three trains later I arrived in Newcastle.

The first two trains were somewhat unpleasant, just busy. It was quite soothing the train from Kingscross, the sound of other geordies picked up my mood.

I love my flatmates but it can be quite overpowering being surrounded by southerners all the time. Especially since they cannot understand me half the time. Whilst being at Brighton there has been quite a few communication issues, here a couple.

1) During freshers, a drunk time for many, I offered a flatmate a can of Dark Fruits, in which I got the response 'why would he want dog food?' - funny but frustrating.

2) I had a job interview, you know how it is with money when you're a student, even if you're not it's that time of year. So my potential employer asks me the usual questions and one being 'what do you do for hobbies' my response being my usual one, I like to write and read- I've had a poem published. He looked at me horrified and responded 'what, you've published porn??' not only was I howling but we were both embarrassed. Once I corrected him, we had a bit banter about it. But,it would be my luck for porn to come up in an interview.

I have been home just a little over a week, my first proper day back I went out to explore. Granted, this wasn't on purpose. I came home from Uni early due to an orthodontics appointment which I had on my phone for half 10 the next morning. I was wrong, it wasn't until half 3 but I didn't find this out until I was already in town.  Going down Brighton definitely has made me appreciate my hometown more, I am embracing my inner commoner. I walked down streets with ease, which in all honesty I haven't done in Brighton yet- mainly because I still have to use Google Maps to get everywhere. With Newcastle it is home, I know it like the back of my hand. No maps needed, no worry just home.

I love Newcastle at Christmas. The stalls are up near monument, foods from different continents fill the air and the busy vibes just make you feel home. Plus, the Christmas shop opens. The shop that pretty much stays closed all year and then when December hits it's the most festive sight ever.

I loved being reunited with my family, my niece especially.  She hugged me so tight and I cried tears of happiness. I hate to be smushy but before Uni we hadn't really been apart since she was born. So, three months was difficult- I was unbelievably homesick but I managed. I love being able to take her to nursery again, putting her to bed and her distracting me with loads of little stories to escape falling asleep. I am back at work, it feels good to be back. I was worried  I had forgotten how to do bets but I had no worries. I am enjoying the familiarity.

I have to say, I do miss my flatmates. In Brighton they are my family, I'm lucky to have that dynamic. I am so close to the girls it is comforting. University is already altering me, my social life as well as the growth of knowledge. My wardrobe has had some changes too- I didn't know what a bralette was before, now I own quite a few! University is an amazing experience, weird but amazing. It is hard, no doubt about that- the workload as well as moving away from home. But, the hardest part is over.


Reunited with my doubled bed- single is shit! 



Home for Christmas

Wednesday 20 December 2017

Had quite a few of these!

I loved these, they are so artistic.
I am aware that this post a little overdue but here it is. Talking and sharing photos from my lovely holiday in Spain from earlier this month 29th August- 14th September.

This holiday was an amazing break for me before I left home for University. It was such a brilliant two and a bit weeks.

I think the absolute highlight of my holiday was visiting the Zoo Selwo and Gibraltar. Both were adventures I adored. Selwo I fell in love with Otters and got to see various different kinds of animals. I also conquered one of my biggest fears- I crossed a rope bridge. From a young age, I have had nightmares about rickety bridges, the ones where there is something below and the bridge swings as you walk across. I faced the fear and did it- I did almost have a panic attack midway but nonetheless, I made it across.
Beautiful big cat!!


 It was amazing being close to cheetahs and Red Pandas. We got to interact with animals such as goats - which I fed by hand with my niece, that was pretty cool.
Clearly not impressed by me



 I really liked the flamingos, they were so chilled looking pretty minding their own business.

Below is a video of these crazy monkeys, I think we caught on mid-breakdown.

The noise is the monkeys! It was unbelievably amusing yet so strange.

I particularly like this little snapshot because
it almost like an evolutionary progression.


Khaki shorts made me feel like an explorer

This was the fierce bridge. 

I fell in love with these Otters, even bought
a stuffed teddy  Otter.
 I have always loved water animals, I kind of seek them out in Zoos. Penguins are easily my favourite animal but I think since this trip Otters are a very close second.




At Selwo we got to see Elephants, this was exciting. Until this point, I had never really seen an Elephant in person so I really enjoyed seeing them and even attending a tour where we got to learn a lot about them.



 Another Otter photo, this is the last of the Selwo photos! Hang on though, I am showing more of Gibraltar, the place I stayed and much more.








Gibraltar was incredible. The two above photos are from Saint Micheals Cave, it was beautiful. I also found that they host concerts there, and I feel like it would be an amazing to attend a concert in an incredible cave - naturally, this has been added to my bucket list.



The monkeys on the rock were so incredible, they literally did not care that there were people around. One of them shoulder barged my sister's fiance- this was hilarious to witness. It was such an incredible experience to see these creatures up close. When we were visiting the souvenir shop as you enter the cave, we witnessed a monkey come in and take a packet of crisps from the shelf and then knick off with it up the mountain- I couldn't get a snapshot due to the uncontrollable laughter.




The views from Gibraltr rock were unbelievable. Absolutely stunning, it didn't feel real. It was the type of thing you see in films and it was insane seeing it all before me.

One of many selfies with my beautiful sister, this one was for her birthday
celebrations.

 The architecture and layout of Spain is so unbelievably different to what am I used to in England, I found it all so pretty. I just wanted to capture it all, I didn't sadly because there were moments where I was so lost in the moment that I just lived and enjoyed myself.

Until this point, I had never seen a Banana tree in my life.

I loved spending time with my niece, she was lovely and adored Spain -
we both did!



I fell in love with all of the views, sunsets with palm trees may be my new  favourite setting.

What I like about the photo to the left is that this photo was taken before we all decided for a night swim. The water was warm and I hadn't been in the pool all day due to severe sunburn on my shoulders. We took many night swims- it was beautiful.
Last monkey picture- I promise.

The villa we stayed in was so lovely, to the left, our neighbours were friendly and fun. Kara made some friends, and it was just lovely.

I didn't picture any but there are sooo many wild cats in Spain.  I was so happy, they were beautiful!
 There is definitely more wildlife in Spain that is visible. We saw huge toads, little geckos, we even collected some little frogs from the pool in which we made a home for in the garden.

So many dog owners too!
 This was an incredible piece a man made on the beach, it was so beautiful and detailed- very very impressed.
Came across this little fella!
 I loved walking down the street to be on the beach. I visited the beach a few times, some with the family and more so on my own. It is so calming watching waves, it felt as though time was frozen somehow and everything seemed to be alright.



I think what I loved most about my trip was that I got to spend time with my sister and niece before I left for University. It was an amazing trip, I had so much fun and thus being one of the best holidays I have ever been on!

#SUMMERBLOGGIN
Thank you for reading (or even looking at) this long ass post! I had intended writing about this sooner but just never got the chance! Keep an eye out for my next post on my move to Brighton and my first week of University - should be posted either Saturday or Sunday!


Spain! 2017

Wednesday 27 September 2017

It's the last minutes of 2016, before entering the new year I want to reflect on the positive things that have happened in my life over the last 365 days.

Sure we can focus on the negative things, but what's the point? It's the moments that we are our happiest that really means something.

I want make note of all the things I am grateful for in 2016, and all the things that made my year the best it could be.

 - New friends, I've made new friends, this year I found my friendship group. The girls who make me laugh and have shown me new ways and new places.
- Travelling, I've always loved the idea of travelling and this year I began pursuing that love. So far to  Leeds and Edinburgh, I look forward to the places I will travel in 2017.
- Love, I have found two kinds of love this year. This year has been a journey of self love, I've become more self aware and decided to take a more positive outlook on my self and I can now proudly say I 100% love myself for who I am, body, personality and all.
The second love I found within recent months, a love I haven't talked about on my blog but if you've seen my social media his name has cropped up a few places; Jonny. My boyfriend, who I met this year and I'm falling so deeply in love with. I'm grateful for him, when I was ready to call it a day and accept my single life he appeared and I'm so happy he did.
- Published, August I received a letter and a certificate for a poem I had wrote and in September it was published in an anthology with other writers in the North East. This was a huge amazing step for my writing career.
- University, I applied for University and got an offer back from my dream university; University of Brighton. I cried reading my offer and I cannot wait to work for it and go in 2017.
- I turned 18 this year, this meaning I'm an adult now and well mainly I can legally buy and drink alcohol. This has brought me many moments, some great and fabulous others hilarious and gross, I love all my little drunk 2016 moments.
- Family, this year I've become so close with my eldest sister. I'm so grateful for her, not only for being my best friend but for being there for me all the time. My niece, she has also made my 2016, the little bundle of joy who blesses my day most days. She's such a joy and I'm a very proud auntie. I have so much love for my family, all of who support me, especially my parents who always have my back and will go the end of the world to help me. Also it's been a good year for my parents, my mam and her charity have been doing amazing, and after a long time trying dad is back into work.
- My blog, and those who read my blog. I love having my blog, a place for my thoughts and writing, I'm blessed for little haven of mine.

Despite a lot going on in the world and all bad things that have been happening world wide it's still important to look at our own lives and realize all the good things that have happened to us individually. I do not regret a single thing from 2016, and I can only hope for a just as good 2017. Happy New Year, I wish you all the very best and prosperous 2017.

2016

Saturday 31 December 2016

Merry Christmas from me to you, I wish you all the best for today and onwards. This is also to those who do not celebrate, I wish you all the happiness in the world. As today is the day for family, celebration and just being happy. 

Christmas

Sunday 25 December 2016

Tonight I watched Annie for the first time in a long time, I've had the soundtrack stuck in my head for weeks so I thought it was about time I had a reunion with one of my old favourite musicals. Inevitably I cried; like I always do. It's always the scene where Mr and Mrs Mutch come to collect Annie and Mr Warbox is singing and on verge of tears, it breaks my heart. This time I cried much more, it hit me sooner than Daddy Warbox singing, it hit me the moment Annie said 'mom'. I became a flood of uncontrollable tears, I had to restrain myself from screaming stop at the screen. No idea what came over me, but it shattered my heart. Thinking it over I believe it's because I have this fear of falseness and abandonment. Something about a scene that broke my heart and always has broke my heart again much worse and much more than it ever did. I value family, love and honesty, and that scene involving all of that just set something off inside of me.

Annie

Tuesday 13 December 2016

As Universities send me offers that frightened ball in my stomach gets stronger. The fear of leaving home, and not seeing my family for twelve weeks at a time. There nothing more that I want than independence and to pursue my dreams. I cannot help but worry about my niece, how I will go from seeing her most days of her life to not seeing her for weeks on end. Or when I go home at the end of the week my pets are excitedly waiting for me, what happens when I do not return at the end of the week? Instead I return for Christmas? It's weird, my family have helped me this far in life and when September comes along I'll be leaving. I am excited, I cannot wait and I wish it would come sooner but there is always that daunting feeling in my stomach.

when September comes

Saturday 19 November 2016

I was stood in central station, waiting on the arrival of my mother from her weekend away. On the platform I stood waiting and watching, watching people board and passengers saying goodbye to their families. Young adults I assumed were going off to universities with their many bags and cases, hugging their families tightly before setting off onto the train that will change their lives. My cheeks became wet with tears, my heart thumping limp in my chest. I could see the love of these people, wishing their son or daughter good luck. Their children all grown up, leaving home for three years. It broke my heart. For years I've been desperately wishing to be those people going off to university, set out for a new adventure but at the station my heart was with the families the students were leaving  behind. I felt their sorrow inside, I felt the longing the mothers would have wondering if their child is safe and happy every night. I thought of my own family, in exactly one year we will be in this very station feeling these very things, I cried to myself some more. The people I grew up with me, the memories and everyday things, how they will change the moment I drag my case onto the train. What broke my heart the most was the thought of Kara. The child I've seen grow from a baby, the delightful days, the memorable months and loving years I've seen her develop and her imagination open like a flower. I've been with her most of her life, and in a years time that will change. I won't see her for 12 weeks, she'll be twice as smart and twice as grown by the time I'll next see her. When I think of university, I think get away from home, as far as you can. Theoretically it sounds ideal, but in the station I already felt homesick, homesick because of something that hasn't even happened yet.

A year from now

Monday 5 September 2016

Sometimes when things get tough, and bottling in your every emotion just isn't enough, when your feelings and fears are pouring out of the seams. Those are the times you need someone you love, someone who is dear to you, someone you can sob on their shoulder and they'll understand perfectly. Life throws challenges at you, one after another and it's okay to admit you're hurting, it's okay to admit you're struggling. Most important it's okay to not do it alone. You are loved, and you are not alone. Ignore every doubt you have, you're not being stupid, you're not crazy. Talk it out, hug it out, cry it out if you need it. It is our loved ones who make us stronger, it is our loved ones who make things feel alright.

It's okay

Wednesday 31 August 2016

It was abrupt. The frightened voice of a little boy woke me up. Tall he may be but his mind is still young. The yelling, my heart fell. The banging began, they were coming to get him. I screamed. Everything got heavy, the house woke up. Intruder, intruder. It was a frenzy of fright. My parents woke up, each of us struck with terror. Smash goes the security, yelling with glass. It all happened so fast yet it seemed neverending. The police were on their way, another window was out. The little boy upstairs fearing for his life, I tried to keep him safe help him to hide. When you think you're tough it disappears when you're made vulnerable and challenged in your own home. Everything you know running with the culprits, they didn't physically hurt us but emotionally I cannot say the same. Left at the scene of the crime, a broken into home. A place I once felt safe I don't think I can return. Boarded up house, statements taken things won't be the same for a while. The fear of their return will still remain, even in another house my nerves are shattered, every bump and noise tearing me up. Safe, what is safe?

little boy

Sunday 28 August 2016

Weekly Favourites

Sunday 10 July 2016

Weekly Favourites

Sunday 3 July 2016

Weekly Favourites

Sunday 26 June 2016

Every year about this time The Hoppings fun fair comes around,  usually I'm all for it and excited but this year I just wasn't feeling it. I ended up going along with my sister,  brother and niece. And even though I didn't go on any rides I had the time of my life, watching my niece having a blast! She loved the little rides and it was delightful witnessing her having such fun. I took some pictures and I'm excited to show them on my blog, if you don't follow my Instagram (writingmyheart) you may not know that recently I've been in love with taking pictures, from coffee to food, to places and people, I simply love it. Here are some of the pictures from the hopping;

The Hoppings

Friday 24 June 2016

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