Tinder Advice

As my blog has previously become aware, I am a Tinder user, and it's not a secret I have the the worst luck. By worst luck I mean I  attract all the wrong people, like fuck boys, weirdos and guys who just want sex. I'm not even sure why I attract such people, my profile isn't sexualised in anyway, not even any of my pictures who cleavage, which truth be told I don't have much of that to begin with.  Over time I've accumulated some advice or things to look out for whilst on Tinder. I suppose this could help your experience (if you're unlucky enough to be in a similar situation as myself).  So I'll be giving advice on what will make your Tinder better or guess it what I look for when I'm swiping I guess.

1) I'm probably judging you on your selfie skills, there is nothing worse  than person who can't take a good selfie. I'm not asking you to model photo shoots but please pick better angling, seeing a low photo pointing  up showing your underchin will not help you at all. Maybe this is on me, because I'm slightly self obsessed I love taking selfies and I've mastered the angles and things over time. This is also important because people love taking photos with their partners it's adorable and potentially I need to know you're down for that.

2) Bio - there are three pieces advice I have for this.  First being, read the persons bio you're swiping right to, especially before talking to them. A lot of people put their intentions or what they're essentially looking for in their bio, this you can play to, read what they want and see if it's what you want. Do not ignore what they're bio says, so my bio for instance states clearly I'm not looking for one night stands yet guys still swipe right and ask me if I want 'fun' this is ignorant and hell of annoying even if he was actually was adorable and had a puppy in his picture with him. Second advice, be honest with what you say, include some hobbies. Sometimes if conversations get dry bios are the biggest help, seeing what a person likes allows room for conversation and something to talk about if you don't know what to say. Plus it shows you're paying attention and taking and interest in them.  Third piece of advice on the bio situation, try and be unique, I swear the whole of Tinder is travelling the world or is a Chef. Really? Cool what makes you different from the last 5 cooking travellers I just swiped left on?

3) dry talk- I understand first conversations can be awkward but you could at least try and engage in conversation instead of throwing out the 'hey you okay?' Or 'what's up' those essentially aren't going to get you very far. This could easily link with the bio, the bio helps you! Start a conversation differently, recently I've had experience of guys starting with gifs yeah it's odd but it's amusing and different. Chat up  lines, people usually tell you to stay away from them but I personally love them, not because they work (because they don't) but just how they're so bad and hilarious, I love laughing so those amuse me dearly.

That's all for today, I'll see you soon and maybe in the future you'll get some more Tinder disasters from me, it seems they're never ending!

Tinder Advice

Monday 19 September 2016

My Tinder Experience (Part II)

Hey guys,
As you can tell by the title today I will be talking about Tinder and the experiences I have had. The first part I posted mid-March here is the link if you wish to read that post first http://writingmy-heart.blogspot.co.uk/2016/03/my-tinder-experiences.html after that post I deleted Tinder and took a step back from it. At least until I turned eighteen (on March 23rd) and joined the 'adult tinder'. Rejoining Tinder as an adult, I assumed it meant something more serious and not wasting my time as much, but well you can see by the experiences I am about to tell you how exactly that went. Get your cuppa ready (Peppermint for me) and read ahead.
The extremely attractive guy
As soon as I turned eighteen I redownloaded the app and excitedly began to swipe. The same day I swiped right on a super handsome guy, it was one of those swipes where you know you have no chance but you swipe anyways, and to my surprise he swiped right too. Instantly I thought I have no chance, but this guy called Nathan messaged me first. I have to say guys I was punching above my weight, he was twenty two built as heck, and studied biomedicine in Uni. So we started talking and that led to getting each other's Snapchat (FYI BAD IDEA) and we began to talk every day, we got to know each other more, however sometimes replies would be hours a part, he had Uni and things so I kind of expected it. It was two weeks into talking, I had kind of hinted we should meet up or something but he didn't bite. Anyways, one night it was late and I was a little messed up and the conversation took a turn, we weren't chatting how we usually, I am partly to blame for this and basically that night we ventured into 'sexting' and that lead to many more sexting sessions in the weeks to come. We sexted more but still had casual conversations but then I noticed he would only ever have fast replies when we were sexting, and of course if that didn't send alarms off in my head other stuff did. Sometimes he would read my messages and not reply for hours and then later be like  'what did you say?' That would annoy me, it wasn't even the once. It was three weeks in and well if you know me personally I kind of get attached easily, can you blame me though? Talking to a person every day and getting to know them and what not. So it got to the month mark, and like we weren't moving forward, with sexting  we added porn into the equation (don't judge) but with me and him it seemed we weren't moving forward with meeting each other, plus his exams were beginning. Admittedly I got a little crazy, he wouldn't reply all weekend and he was going out the night before and hadn't talked to me the next day, in typical girl style I went crazy but not to him, I talked to my gay about it and stuff but it turned out he was at his grandparents wedding anniversary, which I felt bad for but also glad I didn't voice my crazy to him. I was kind of like insecure because why would a guy who can have any girl want to talk to me? It didn't make sense. A week later I decided to ask him what he wanted, and where this was going. It was doing my head in, and I was sick of acting like a crazy bitch, it wasn't fair on me having these thoughts and not knowing if this was going anywhere. So I asked him are we just sexting, are we mates or what I have no clue what he wants. I felt nervous, because even though I wanted the truth I kind of didn't. I had previously messaged him saying if you don't want to talk or I'm being needy or whatever tell me etc. and he told me not to be stupid and that he likes talking to me. He told me that he didn't want anything 'super serious' and that he wanted to just go with it and talk and what not. Which obviously that hurt me a little, it lead to a couple days later removing him from Snapchat, it wasn't out of spite it was just, it felt like I was obsessed with him and wanted approval and I was waiting on replies like a needy girlfriend, and he didn't want what I wanted, so I had to take the plunge for myself. I simply got rid of him, until the next day. He messaged me on Tinder asking if I blocked him on Snapchat and if he had done or said something wrong. I didn't understand because like I am just some girl and I didn't understand why he'd care. But I messaged him back, telling him that I had to, and that I liked him a lot, and that I realise I want something serious and that it's okay that he doesn't want to be serious, and that I kind of have to walk away because I'll be the one who gets hurt and that really it's better now than later. So.. I was expecting a dick reply, because guys generally don't like it when girls kind of you know back off and walk away, but with all honesty his reply made me cry 'Oh I see, I completely understand I get what you mean, I'm sorry things didn't work out, you're a great girl and you'll find someone properly, hope you're ok' ladies and gents he couldn't have been lovelier about the situation, I didn't reply because I knew I wouldn't be able to walk away if I did. So yeah, that was the time I walked away from the hottest guy I've ever seen!
Awkward guy
The next guy, I don't remember his name we didn't talk long and you can see why by the following. We started talking and he was kind of awkward, but that didn't put me off awkwardness happens. We talked for an hour or so and he talked about meeting up. I was like yeah sure but once we get to know each other first, which is a given because I don't want to meet a guy and we have nothing to talk about. It got weird, when he asked where we should meet and obviously I suggested a public place, but he was against the idea of a public place, and the went on to ask why don't I just come straight his house, apparently he is super nervous and doesn't like leaving the house, this set off alarm bells. I was like nope, and stopped talking to him. I understand that perhaps he does have issues but I can't just go to some persons house I don't know, I care far too much about myself to be putting myself in potential danger.
Creepy guy?
The next guy I think was called Mark or maybe Warren not sure. He basically found my Instagram and followed me and told me he was from Tinder, immediate block.
The writer guy
A similar story, I get a message on my Instagram from a guy. We talk, and he's a writer and we talked about writing things, and he then told me he also found me on Tinder (I immediately disconnected my tinder and Instagram so they had no link) and then went on to make me feel a little awkward by telling me I had swiped left, so I'm guessing that lead to him finding my Instagram. It creeped me out, completely. He then went on to tell me how he messaged Demi (my best friend) about her art and doing some art stuff for him, which again I found weird, and we talked more about writer things, I do enjoy talking to other writers so I kind of let the creepy thing go.I did have to set him straight though at some point, he was trying to make things a little sexual and I was having none of it and basically told him if that is what he wants then we can stop talking now, and that I basically only want to talk to him from one writer to another.  We talk still but only briefly, he seems like an okay guy I no longer get alarm bells.
The meet up guy
Jonny, this guy we got talking and he is lovely. We got along straight away, and we talk sometimes. However, he is persisted on us meeting up, but he wants me to travel all the way to Durham. It's pretty far plus I have only been there once so it makes me a little nervous. This guy I think I could potentially date but only if he were more willing to compromise, maybe meet me half way or something, but he wants me to go to Durham on the train and then bus it or wherever. I don't want to travel that far on my own, I kind of want to be somewhere I know and feel comfortable with.
The dickhead guy
If you know me well, you will know that I am very serious about Game of Thrones. In my Tinder bio I had that I was a fan and what not. And well some random guy matched with me and decided to send me spoilers, not only for the next episode but several episodes ahead, I wasn't caught up either. Can you imagine how pissed off I was? I was perhaps overdramatic with this but I replied calling him a dickhead and blocking him.
The current guy
Jordan,this guy I still talk to. I got his Snapchat before I decided to leave Tinder. We first started talking about Game of Thrones, and discussing ideas and  theories, and we still talk now. He is a nice guy, currently about to go off to America for the Summer. I am not sure where this is going with him, and I currently feel like we are just mates at the moment, but who knows what could happen. I'm not overthinking it, I am just going with it. Things are chill and he is a good friend.

So that is all I have this time round, I no longer use Tinder and I don't plan to in the future. I kind of figured that I am only eighteen and I don't need a relationship, I shouldn't feel pressure because most of my friends have boyfriends. I am happy being single, doing my own thing, I'm just taking life head on. And if I end up in a relationship cool, if not cool, I'll still be focusing on me and loving myself and being positive. I hope you enjoyed this, who knows what experiences I will have to share in the future. Thank you for reading, please follow the blog, I post every day! Lauren :)

My Tinder Experience (Part II)

Friday 3 June 2016

My Tinder Experience(s)

(Monday's Post)


I don't usually ( or ever) talk about people I know on my blog, unless it is mentioning one of my best friends, but I never bitch about people, I don't like that type of negativity but I have an experience or two to share with you,about Tinder. I am fully aware I'm not even eighteen yet and it is stupid to even expect something serious from the dating app especially at this age. Tinder isn't bad in fact I have friends who have met amazing people on the world of Tinder, and kudos to them. It does help, it lets you connect with people, and I am not slating Tinder at all. It's just I am almost 18 and well that means since I am under the age of 18 so are all the people showing up, which means most of them are younger than me (which I stay away from) but anyways. I have two experiences so far, and well I thought I would share them, so like a story time. I will not be giving out names of the people mentioned for this purpose let's called them Jane (doe) and John (doe).
Firstly, I am not sure what made me try out the world of Tinder. I like talking to people and getting to know them and what not, but anyways.
There were matches but my first person John was the only guy I began to talk to properly. There were no cheesy pickup lines, no intentions for anything sexual and it was just genuine conversation. We got to talking daily, it was nice.I love the getting to know each other stage, it is my favourite thing ever.  So the more  John and I talked it seemed with both shared similar interests, like for instance writing. We both liked writing, and so when we decided (after much consideration) we were going to go meet we planned to bring some of our work with us to show each other. I was pretty excited, of course I was going to take caution I mean I was essentially meeting someone off the internet, so naturally I got (she insisted) my best friend to chaperone, like come and check this guy out to see if he isn't some creep. So before this meet up I went to my best friends, where she got me ready (makeup and stuff) I was making an effort, I even wore heels (I consider me wearing heels is the girliest I'll ever be). So once we were ready we went to the place and waited. I checked my phone and I was growing impatient, we were meeting at a place I felt comfortable because I wanted to be somewhere I knew, anyways. I checked my phone and well it turns out something came up and he couldn't make it. I was gutted, the weather was crap and dolled up for no reason. It wasn't a completely wasted night, me and my friend made a night of it, having tea and bubble cha and then having a good sleepover. So John was sorry and what not, I was a little annoyed at inconveniance but things happen and life goes and we decided on a later date. Don't get me wrong he was lovely but again something came up, which was apparently out of his control. We had added each other on Facebook after we started talking, and well a week or two after another cancelled date he is in a relationship with another girl. Yeah so thanks mate? Things happen but if he wasn't that into me he could have said, it's not like I would flipped my lid, I just want honesty. I decided to leave it, his heart and head was clearly elsewhere so I just left the whole situation. We didn't talk much after that. So I moved on and continued to Tinder.
My second experience, which is after John.  I got talking to Jane, I found her very attractive and lovely. She was so kind and lovely, like seriously. We talked and talked for a couple of months, and well honestly I felt myself becoming attached at times. I'd send her messages in the morning  like 'Good morning beautiful have a lovely day', I'd send her compliments through the day, I just wanted to make her happy. She was lovely back. Somedays we would go without talking but when we talked it was lovely we talked about interests and got to know each other. Recently it started to get heated like the messages were you know going somewhere. And things were just getting heated but we still had the cute messages between us on top of that. Last week, she messaged do I want to hook up after college, we hadn't talked about meeting yet, but I had things to do so I couldn't if I wanted to. We talked about the whole hook up thing and well it kind of hit me, that is all she wants. And well I recently realised her facebook page was she was in a relationship with this guy. I assumed it was her gay best friend, we had talked about him previously and she told me she was his music manager, she got him gigs and stuff because he sings. Then I kind of noticed it looked more than that, so I straight up asked, I mean I wasn't going to get the answer by thinking about it, turns out she is in a relationship with him, and has been for a while, and she still wanted to hook up. It annoyed me because I obviously was attracted to her and then to find out for months her motive was to just hook up and that's she's already in a relationship, yeah but no thanks. I'd hate to be the other girl or worse the person being cheated on, that's just not for me.
But yeah as you can tell I haven't had the best of luck with dating and Tinder. I don't feel malice towards John or Jane, things happen and we learn from experiences.I think I'll stay away from Tinder for a while at least until I'm 18 then I can deal with adults, plus I've always liked older guys and girls anyways.
If you're on Tinder I hope you're having better luck than I did! And if not then don't worry about it. Maybe these things aren't supposed to be forced and they will happen naturally or whenever really. I am no expert clearly.

My Tinder Experience(s)

Wednesday 16 March 2016