Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
I have been wondering how or what to write for my annual post about bidding the year farewell. Looking at previous years, 2016 I went for the things I am blessed for. 2017 was more 20of it's been a tough one but I pulled through kind of post. I feel like the past few years have been big years for me and this year was just... random aftermath of those years.
I sit on my bed, full of cold with a glass of wine and a pack of hobnobs. It is always good to reflect back, I didn't exactly know where to start but let's begin with my #bestnine on Instagram.

The grid above is the posts that my Instagram followers liked the most, and even though these pictures do not sum up the whole year they do highlight some of the best bits.  2018? The year for trying to be more body confident, the goal I set every year, and I am getting there. The year of a cool new tattoo (or two or three), it seems my Slytherin one was quite the hit! This was the year I actually experimented with makeup, and I can happily say I am getting better! This was the year I changed my hair a lot, blonde to blue, to even green to blonde and then back to Brunette! I need to stop making impulsive hair decisions. I had the most amazing holiday to Egypt with the people I love. That was a huge highlight! I feel like this year has been overall, alright. I am learning the ins and outs of adulthood, money managing and living, trying to cook and look after myself, all whilst working and attending Uni. It's hard. This year I learned that in 2019 I need to get my shit together.

This isn't a whole new year new me, because I am actually starting to like myself. I see the upcoming year as a way of improving myself, big things are ahead- I can feel it! My braces come off, after 5 years, and I am excited to see the end result- especially since I have always been self-conscious about my teeth. I plan on getting healthy, this sounds cliche as fuck. But I don't mean just my body, I mean my mental health. I will be joining the gym though, in February. I would do the whole joining in January thing but I am not in Brighton long enough to dedicate January to the gym. I want to start eating better, so more homecooked meals, I enjoy cooking but half the time I just can't be bothered. In March I turn 21, a proper adult, which is scary but also exciting. I haven't decided on what shenanigans we will get up to for that! I hope to do a little more travelling this year, some cities around the UK like Glasgow and Manchester, as well as maybe a cheeky holiday before year 3 starts at Uni.  
I have decided to get my shit together financially. Something I have been crap with since before I started earning money. I just need to manage everything, become more organised. I bought this little gem to help me. I guess something to motivate me really. I have always wanted to be one of those women who keep a diary, write important crap down and just take control of their shit. I am also aiming to read at least 40 books next year, I only managed 24 this year. 

I just feel like this year is going to be my year, focusing on myself and just being happy. Happiness is all any of can really ask for. And if I haven't achieved any of the above this time next year then sod it, I know I'll probably have memories to look back on!

So, 2018! You have been weird, just plain weird. I feel blessed having made another year on this earth, to this one and the next! I wish all my lovely readers the best 2019 possible,   god knows you all deserve it! 

One last note, I do hope to expand my blog more, and my writing. This year is ours!

2018

Monday, 31 December 2018

I have been thinking about this for a while now, becoming a vegetarian. I tried it years ago back in 2012 and succeeded for about a year. It wasn't easy but it did come with a few perks: like losing weight and no one would attempt to steal my quorn food. The problem that I came across the most was I was never really a big fan of vegetables, which proves difficult if you're a vegetarian because the majority of your diet is filled up with vegetables. In more recent years I have expanded my taste buds and found that there a quite a few vegetables that I do enjoy.
This isn't me giving up meat or becoming a full-time vegetarian. From time to time I get the guilt of eating meat, but clearly not enough since I continue to do so. I feel as though for a while I haven't been in the right situation (financial as well as life really) and as I become to enter my second year at University I have decided to give it a go. Realistically, I'll never be able to cut meat completely out of my diet because a girl loves her some chicken. My aim is to have a couple of days out of my week where I don't eat meat. Nothing too drastic just enough to change up my diet and save a few more animals.
 I'll be cooking for myself for the next two years so I won't be limited by being catered for, I will also be working alongside my degree so I can enjoy a few finer things in life. My finer things I mean actually buying fresh fruit and veg on a daily basis.
 I am excited, try some new things and just try and get my shit together. My eating habits aren't the best, and for a while now I have really begun to notice that. I want to make a change. It's all dandy attending gym and working out at home but that will only go to waste if I don't fix up my eating habits too. It's just to feel better and to be honest, I enjoy cooking when I get the chance, this allows me to explore and experiment with new recipes.
By the way, just so you know I am not going to be one of those people who push vegetarianism in your face, I am not going to announce it at every meal. Technically I'll not even be a real vegetarian, I'll be a part-timer.

Part Time Veggie?

Monday, 6 August 2018

She's dumbed herself down She's curved her once sharpened edges Your kiss is now her weakness. Once, no such weaknesses could be found Her personality was as firey as her inflamed hair And now it conforms like a soldier entering the war. The war we know as love Her green eyes were bright with knowledge And now they're dulled with common sense Oh how you've chained that once free soul Her bright colour now watered down Oh how her dance is now a stumbled march Her brain has been blurred and now all she sees is you.

all she sees is you

Wednesday, 1 March 2017

I am onto my third week back at sixth form, and to be truthful it's becoming emotionally draining. I am swamped with work all of the time, and I am tired pretty much 95% of the time and it's stressfull. I am actually contemplating changing the posting dates on here, mainly because I've been finding it difficult to keep up. I live for this blog, writing is my life you guys know that, it's just daily posts are hard to maintain. I have been doing more creative writing on here which I have been adoring. This isn't me stopping blogging, I'll never stop. I'm just warning you guys, in case I am not posting as much but I will try and aim to post every day like I've been doing!

Posting

Friday, 23 September 2016

One moment, one feeling, one person... can change your whole life. An experience or influential words or even a simple change of perspective can alter everything you've ever known. Do you ever wonder what would happen if things turned out differently? You turned back time and altered a decision, you wish for something better to have happened. but would you give up every little thing that has happened since? Sure there has been tough times, but would you give up the small things you've witnessed just to go back and change one thing that could change everything?

Change everything

Tuesday, 2 August 2016

If you haven't noticed already, I am sure you have unless you're new to this part of the internet, I have altered the layout of my blog. I changed the background, I have added gadgets in and also I have added a poll! I want to know what you guys want to see and read more of on here, so I can tailor my content as what I am posting is kind of mixed and sort of random, and I am just thinking I should tidy things up a bit. If you want to do the poll (please do) it is located on the right side of the blog just scroll down a little and you shall find it. Also could you all do my favour and follow the blog, it would mean the world to me! Thank you for your time!

CHANGE!

Friday, 27 May 2016

It has finally sunk in, that from tomorrow I will be an adult, I will have responsibility and well it means it is time to grow up. It also means cheeky pints and being able to get served, but mainly grow up.
I have spent years, especially these last few months, wishing the days would hurry along and I'd be 18 already, and I am a couple of hours away I want to put time to a halt and breathe and let everything sink in. Nonetheless I cannot stop time I just have to carry on.
I believe the past 17 years have been good, there were challenging times and battles with myself along the way. I am grateful that nothing too tragic has hit my path yet, and I am lucky. I've had a good childhood, my parents have always done their best for me and they've made as happy as I can be.
I am excited, is it weird that today I feel I am moving out of this stage of my life. I am transitioning into a new stage and I'm ready for an adventure and owning whatever comes my way. I feel a new found confidence on my shoulders, I feel good, finally me maybe?
Tomorrow, I will be 18 and I feel like I will reborn into an adult. Goodbye childhood and hello responsibility and alcohol (joking... maybe)
See you on the other side.

Time to grow up

Tuesday, 22 March 2016

The patter of rain from the window
wind gushing in my freedom.
Laughter between friends
running a wild havoc.
Pure delightful nonsense
oh those were the days.
The days stolen from us.

Ripped from our tiny palms
toys replaced with politics
laughter transformed into tears
singing strained into stressful screams.
No care in the world
to caring too much for the world.
Bruised knees to broken hearts.

Where can we restart?

 

Childhood

Tuesday, 9 February 2016

To kickstart the year I've decided to make a few changes, mainly to my physical appearance so far. Friday I attempted to dye my hair blonde but it didn't go to plan and went to a copper colour (essentially ginger) it doesn't look bad,if anything it is much improvement to my hair but it's not the colour I planned.
For safety reasons I decided to keep the hair colour for a few days before dying it again because my scalp can only undertake so much burning!
So today I plan on finishing the job! I'm hoping it goes really well!
Over the weekend it seems I'm having problems with my left ear, with pain and unable to hear from it so I'm getting thay checked out first.
Over the weekend I pretty much finished the majority of my shirt film editing, I've edited the main things I just need to add transitions but I have until next week so at least there isn't too much pressure.
I usually don't post until midday or even quite late at night, but I'm going to my sister's and staying over so I'll probably get busy. I'm determined to keep up with posting on the blog everyday.
Thank you for being my amazing readers, and I'll see you tomorrow!

Blonde!!

Monday, 4 January 2016

I awoken early this morning all eager. In a good mood a made breakfast for myself and family, it tasted pretty good. I then decided on a nice hot bubble bath, I had washed my hair the night before. So from there I began ready, feeling more and more like an adult as I put on my skin matched foundation and waterline eye liner. Then came the dress pants, skin type because they are my favourite. So comes the shirt, flat shoes and blazer. I have to say I looked and felt like an adult, once I added my black and white checketed vans backpack I felt more in my comfort zone.

I am currently on the bus to my interview, sitting backwards. Watching out the back window,  streets and familiarities moving further away from. Then is struck me, what if this is my bus to adulthood. What I'm moving further from is being a kid and I'm perhaps now moving into a new stage in my life. I will be attending my first ever job interview, and for once in my life I can gladly say that I feel confident. Let adulthood begin, I'm ready for you.

Bus to adulthood

Saturday, 17 October 2015

Where is the time going? I swear it was only August five seconds ago. The weeks are swishing by in a fast blur, I've noticed time has a way of passing quicker when you're older. You're so busy and consumed in work and living you simply forget the date changes. Yesterday felt like a Monday, I was pleased to find that today is Friday. The weekend if finally upon us. I have work to do, which we both know will probably be left until Sunday or at the very latest Tuesday. I am keeping on top of things though, I refuse to allow the work load pile up and stress me out. I have a feeling that soon enough it will be Summer again, it is almost frightening how a week has gone within a flash.

Gone within a flash

Friday, 2 October 2015

I'm all about change lately, first I will explain why and the build up to my most recent change. On the 10th of September I started year 13 in sixth form, and well between me and you it didn't go well. There was talk of English Lit being stopped, and well I was told to think of another option. I was devastated, English is my passion as you guys know. 
So Friday came along, my tutor had a meeting to find out the deal and English had definitely been stopped. Which was annoying as I had already done my first year, only to be told I can longer continue it. Disheartening, I basically let myself be talked into another subject. Which I was told to produce work for over the weekend (I worked my ass off) so Monday comes along and I realize that I miss English, genuinely miss it but I just went on. This new subject teacher basically told me all the work I did over the weekend wasn't what she wanted and told me to produce something else for the following day. Can you imagine how annoyed I felt. 
I did spend the night drawing and what not, and fast forward to this morning. Where I realized the only reason I went to college was for English, and it is something I want to do, and I had a breakdown, to be honest I felt let down. If I had known this was going to happen I would have went to a completely different college. I had enough, and I know English is my passion and I shouldn't have to be forced not to pursue it. My parents were being so supportive, my mother made me take the day off she rang up telling them how much the college let me down especially since I had been promised at the end of last year that there will be an English course to return to. 
My parents suggested that I looked for a new college, I was a little wary I mean this is packing my whole life up I have known my sixth form for 6 years now (due to is being a part of my high school) my mam told me to look online and what not. I found a college that interested in me,the courses seemed appealing but being my nervous self I had concerns. My parents talked me into calling the college and seeing what the deal is, I asked if it was possible to attend for one subject and carry on my other two with my original sixth form, which turned out to not be an option. However, they got me thinking and they suggested I changed sixth form completely and I was welcome to come in for a meeting. 
I had a change of heart, I found myself feeling excited so I looked into the courses and was more than happy. They offered much more than my last, plus they offer a course I originally wanted to do which was English Lit and Lang. I felt ready to move on with my old sixth form, and I was eager for my possible new one. So I went to the meeting only to fall in love with the whole sixth form, the vibes were amazing, and I enrolled immediately. I have never felt so ready and willing for change ever in my life.I know it means not seeing my best friends as much as I do but I have  to do what is best for me. For once I wasn't going to allow my future to be in someone elses hands.Today I took control and did what was best for me. I will be restarting my AS levels, my subjects are now English Lit&Lang, Media Studies and Film Studies. Tomorrow is my first day and I am excited and ready to take control.

Never stop chasing your passion, whatever you do make sure you stay true to yourself

Best For Me

Tuesday, 15 September 2015

Change, what does it mean to me?
Personally it can only mean one of two thins depending on the situation; Disastrous or a  God-Send! I generally don't like change, naturally because I can be quite awkward and anti-social, I'm also a very anxious person so I don't really mix well with change that I don't like. But I will go into detail about both opinions and the type of scenarios I do and don't like change.
Disastrous change
See if I'm put in a place I don't know, like a classroom filled with strangers or people I'm not close to, or even having to sit next to opposite sex, or just being in a change where I'm not comfortable. It's horrible, this kind of change is no good to me.
If I'm in one of the above scenarios, I will not being able to keep myself together, I will sit nervous, scared and ready to break any second. I will be aware of everything, slightly paranoid too. I will feel self conscious and think that everyone is judging me or thinking bad things about me. I just can't help it.
It takes me a while to adapt to change, if it disastrous change I will try everything to avoid it. Like think of an excuse, any excuse I would use it to avoid being a part of that change.
If something doesn't go to plan, change generally throws me off. I like to be a routine sometimes, I don't like change if I'm not content and comfortable.
If you're a teacher and thinking about putting me next to that dude, trust me your lesson may as well be non-existent. If I'm in that uncomfortable change I don't like then trust me you probably won't see m in 98% of your lessons until another change is made suitably.
People probably think I am being selfish or just picky, but I can't help it. I need to be comfortable, I'm not myself otherwise. Although I am open to change, I will try and give it a chance.
Disastrous. I don't like sudden change, maybe if it's an ease towards it then that would help. I prefer most things to stay the same, I like to know things are stable and then I can get used to them.
Moving house is a change, changing school is one too. These are the most common change, in my opinion. If I move to an area with loads of people my age or younger than is a disastrous change for me, I'm not really good with most people, I like to stay in small groups to be honest. But if I live somewhere quite then I'm content, it depends on how the place and house and area effects me.
Changing school is always disastrous. I always feel like I have to be more, I always have a fear that the change will be bad and I will left alone, which is of course always a possibility.
I just don't like to be uncomfortable, I like to happy and okay with my surroundings. I don't like being a part of things I don't know.
Here's an extreme example of a Disastrous change;
If I had to live without something close to me, or see if I had lost my imagination that would be so hard for me, that change would be nothing but a nightmare.
It's hard talking about change, cause there is so much to it and different aspect to it.
God-Send Change
This kind of change is rare for me. Literally rare.
My recent change is moving house, it's quite and small and the best place I've lived so far. This change is good.
I think if I can handle and like the change I can adapt to it well. There are those times when I get sick of things, doing the same thing. Then change it good, if it benefits me it's good. Change can be good and all but then again it can also be bad.
If the change is positive then I'm positive, if it's not I am doomed, literally.
I'm one of those people that if I'm put into a change I don't like, I tend to shut down, avoid and ignore it and pretend it never happened, that's just who I am.
I like to think I'm open minded, but I am just cautious with everything and generally think about everything. I'm a thinker and I think that because I dwell on thoughts and read too much into things then that's perhaps why I'm not so well with change.
Don't get me wrong, I won't walk away before trying it, and I guess that is what matters. I can change writing things, I can change the way I look but generally my change is always looking to make things better.
I like the change that suits me, a change that makes me content, a change that brings out the best of my abilities and personality
Sometimes I look for change, even if it is a small change, it's pleasing. I prefer the little things rather to the big things.
I like the idea of changing my lifestyle, only to better, feel better. If I don't like something I will change it, I'm willing to make changes to make life and things better,
If you're happy then you must be doing something right.
General change
Things change everyday, to everyone. Some changes are just more noticeable.
Change means different things to everyone, it effects us all differently. We all have our own thing going on, I just think that you should let people make that change for themselves and don't do it for them.
We all need to consider each other, we need to take into account not everyone will act or react the way you do. I think if you're going to make a change do it for you, and you only. Don't make changes for others, just for yourself. Sometimes you just have to put yourself first.

Change

Saturday, 15 August 2015