Showing posts with label broken. Show all posts
Why can't thing just happens and we take notes and we move onto the next thing life presents us with. Instead we are left of the reminder in our hearts, a constantly weight on our hearts. It's demanding, in the background noise you can hear it screaming out "I'm I'm pain help me" "I'm breaking hold me together" "I'm broken heal me" even when you're busy it's moping around "Why does it hurt so much" "whose heart could inflict this onto anothers". It's never a clean cut when it comes to damage, it doesn't just come and go. No it makes sure you're left with the evidence, the sweet memories and the abrupt end.
People come into your life, you get used to their presence and you begin to like them, maybe a lot more than you would like an ordinary person, and then they leave you life with a wreckage. And where does that leave you? It leaves you numb and wondering what you were like before you became so accustomed to that person.
You never really move on, you just find something to cover up the constant damage. You meet new people and it's a cycle each time they cause more damage and each time it's covered up again. Until you're left with yourself and a badly taped pain in your chest.
Are we the problem? Do we cause our own heartache?
Damage
Saturday 28 November 2015
I think I know why they say falling in love hurts. When you fall in love, it's like you're falling, literally, falling; falling off a cliff. But, falling off a cliff isn't a good thing; because once you hit the bottom, it hurts, a lot. You're broken.
The Carrie Diaries
Sunday 23 August 2015
Some hearts travel alone, some stay tucked up where they are. As for us we are broken, we are scattered here and there. Never in one place for long, instead we wander picking up the tiny pieces, trying to put ourselves back together.
At first there was just one, but as the jigsaw was slowly pieced together a haven for the broken had been created. Simultaneously the hearts beated, cried and most of all survived...
Once you find all the pieces, and recklessly manage to stick them back together, what do you get? Something that was once broken, but the proof of the hollowness and the past will still remain. Is there really a way to be fixed? Or is that once you're broken you are damaged for good?
We Are Broken
Sunday 2 August 2015
27/01/2015
I was going about my normal day, being a Wednesday I had only two lessons which were first thing so it's one of my short days, the best day. But not today.
Returning to my sisters house, we stayed inside due to heavy 5-10 minutes snow. Once stopped, with my sister and one year old niece we went to the local shopping centre for the daily Wednesday shop.
It was different from most of our Wednesdays, firstly we passed funeral cars, which is always sad and very awkward and you never know where to look so you just put your head down. In these awkward serious situations I have a tendency to laugh so I generally had to trap my inner idiot in, for respect of course.
Once passing and out of sight, I let out the sigh of relief. And carried on to the local shop. Which I assumed would be normal and slightly better place to be than near the funeral place. I was wrong.
We were going about, as usual putting items in the little plastic basket. We were going down one isle, and guy, maybe a few years older than myself, stood behind us and we were in his way, so kindly we moved and looking at him he moved in a fast way like repeatedly. I was scared by him if I'm honest, and my sister informed me it was terrex and I understood.
We carried on shopping and there was a commotion at the tills we thought nothing of it. Going around the drinks area we ended up near the tills. The same guy was on the floor having a fit, a shopkeeper was trying to help him. I lost all my senses and cried, as a sixteen year old female in that moment my every emotion heightened and I sobbed. My heart hurt and I was a scared wreck.
I was worried about the guy, he stopped breathing and I couldn't control myself. My sister had to take me to another isle to calm me down, my emotions were heightened.
The guy's airwaves were blocked by his tongue, and ambulance were called. And well if the shop assistant hadn't helped and was at his side he would have died. Thankfully the ambulance came and the guy turned out to be somewhat alright, living.
It made me think, a lot. How something can just happen suddenly and how people act on it. The ambulance were so calm and everything. Everyone was shocked and trying to do what they can and me I mentally froze.
The only time I have ever had such heightened emotions where I'm sobbing and laughing and crying is when my sister read out an abortion poem to me, that time I actually screamed with tears and I couldn't control it.
It's weird how our brain reacts to things, I've never seen something like that before so it came as a shock.
This isn't one of those posts where I want attention or Shizz, it is the truth and I'm just thinking about how the brain works and how everyone reacts and the impact it has on people.
It was one of them heart in my mouth moments, in that moment I was an emotional wreckage.
Once the guy was rushed in the ambulance the shop just returned as normal it was a werlird shift. On the way home my heart was still raising and my thoughts muddled and my emotions heightened.
I kept thinking what if he'd died, or if I'm put in the situation where I'm the only other person around. My heightened emotions could get the better of me and someone could hurt. It got me thinking maybe I should take lessons or something to help in these situations. I want to help and be the best I can without my emotions being involved.
Maybe this was an unnecessary post but I just needed to put it down somewhere. Also wondering if anyone else has ever reacting like this to anything? Or is just me being the hormonal heightened emotional human I am.
Heightened Emotions
Friday 31 July 2015
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Welcome to my bookish ramblings and creative writing.
