Summer Begins

Hello loyal readers!

Firstly, I will begin to say that I apologize for being awol this month. It is exam season, and well life threw me a curveball this month in my personal life. But, I am back in the frame of mind of writing again. This month has perhaps been one of the most difficult in my life so far, but I plowed through focusing on my exams and nothing else. My last exam was yesterday, and it was such a relief to have finally finished A Levels after 3 long years. The pressure to not fuck up has been real, I am not sure how results day will go, some of my exams were tough, but I know not to dwell on them right now. I did my best and it's all out of my hands right now.

To celebrate finishing A Levels with my friends, after my exam we decided to get drunk. Pitchers at the ready of course. It was a nice end to three years.

I want to talk about how it took me three years to finish A-Levels, I am aware it took my longer than a lot of my peers but it was important it took me three years. This time last year I was finishing AS for the second time round, and I've been thinking about my state of mind then compared to now. If I hadn't of messed up my first year and had gone to Uni last September, I honestly do not think I would have been ready. I was still worried on where I wanted to go in life, whereas now? I feel more steady, and I know I want to do English and going into the publishing industry. It took me the last year or so to discover myself, I know what I want and where I want to go. I have learned a lot about myself due to taking that extra year to complete A Levels. I am glad I messed up my first year, I would not be the person I am today without it.

I  want to say that. it is okay to fuck up. We all do it, you just have to learn from your mistakes and try again. It might take you longer to get to the place you want to be, you friends may even be ahead of you, but that is okay. You are doing this for yourself, and no one else.  Do it at your own pace, and just keep going, you will get exactly where you are meant to be, even if like myself it takes an extra year. You have got this.

I started my first day of summer with a good eleven and a half hours sleep, it was perfect not having to wake up for an alarm. I am quite optimistic about this Summer. The Summer before university. So far I have a gig planned, a cinema screening of a friend's film, a party to go to, pride, holiday to Spain and my best friend from Manchester is visiting so no doubt we will be up to many adventures. Those are the set in stone plans, no doubt there will be many more spontaneous plans on the cards. I also plan on writing a book, or begin to, this Summer. I am continuing a piece I did for my English Coursework, it is historic fiction, I will do a post on it with more detail another time!

Expect more summer posts. for example, I am shopping for holiday clothes this week so I may do a little holiday haul for you!

Summer Begins

Wednesday 21 June 2017

Last day of AS

Please ignore me in this, I look terrible - not my finest hour.

Today was the last of AS, and well I wasn't ready. This year has flown by, and what makes me sad the most is that I have met so many amazing people, and some of them will not be carrying on this journey into the next year. My favourite class of all (film obviously) is practically disbanding, we aren't even getting the same teacher anymore, it makes me sad because like even though we are 20 odd people who just happened to pick a lesson at the start of the year we got pretty close, and these guys are like a second family. Even though some are leaving, I am still happy to hopefully finish the next year with the amazing people that are left.

My exams begin next week and I have never been more afraid. There is no repeat year to depend on, instead my whole Uni thing depends on if I can get the grades I need. I feel confident for English and Film, but Media. Media I am worried about, I will try my best and give it my all, but I cannot help but feel like it won't be good enough. I know my attitude needs to change, I have until Thursday and I am working on it, revising as well as trying to stay positive.

Today was a good last day, filled with enthusiasm and moments. I am getting emotional now, I'll probably be a mess by the end of next year. I am going to have an early night, wake up early tomorrow and let he hardcore media revision begin!

Last day of AS

Friday 13 May 2016

Exams!!

My exams start next Tuesday, they're being kick started with film. Study leave begins on the Monday but I'll be going in all to revise. The pressure is definitely getting a little on top of me, but as always I'll cope and I will boss this exams. If you're doing exams too or anything that is important or just putting pressure on you in general just think positive thoughts,we will boss and pass our obstacles.
I will be spending a lot of time revising but I'll keep updating my blog as you guys know I practically live for writing! I thought this little post would just explain things being a little hectic for me! Stay smiling!

Exams!!

Wednesday 11 May 2016

Best For Me

I'm all about change lately, first I will explain why and the build up to my most recent change. On the 10th of September I started year 13 in sixth form, and well between me and you it didn't go well. There was talk of English Lit being stopped, and well I was told to think of another option. I was devastated, English is my passion as you guys know. 

So Friday came along, my tutor had a meeting to find out the deal and English had definitely been stopped. Which was annoying as I had already done my first year, only to be told I can longer continue it. Disheartening, I basically let myself be talked into another subject. Which I was told to produce work for over the weekend (I worked my ass off) so Monday comes along and I realize that I miss English, genuinely miss it but I just went on. This new subject teacher basically told me all the work I did over the weekend wasn't what she wanted and told me to produce something else for the following day. Can you imagine how annoyed I felt. 

I did spend the night drawing and what not, and fast forward to this morning. Where I realized the only reason I went to college was for English, and it is something I want to do, and I had a breakdown, to be honest I felt let down. If I had known this was going to happen I would have went to a completely different college. I had enough, and I know English is my passion and I shouldn't have to be forced not to pursue it. My parents were being so supportive, my mother made me take the day off she rang up telling them how much the college let me down especially since I had been promised at the end of last year that there will be an English course to return to. 

My parents suggested that I looked for a new college, I was a little wary I mean this is packing my whole life up I have known my sixth form for 6 years now (due to is being a part of my high school) my mam told me to look online and what not. I found a college that interested in me,the courses seemed appealing but being my nervous self I had concerns. My parents talked me into calling the college and seeing what the deal is, I asked if it was possible to attend for one subject and carry on my other two with my original sixth form, which turned out to not be an option. However, they got me thinking and they suggested I changed sixth form completely and I was welcome to come in for a meeting. 

I had a change of heart, I found myself feeling excited so I looked into the courses and was more than happy. They offered much more than my last, plus they offer a course I originally wanted to do which was English Lit and Lang. I felt ready to move on with my old sixth form, and I was eager for my possible new one. So I went to the meeting only to fall in love with the whole sixth form, the vibes were amazing, and I enrolled immediately. I have never felt so ready and willing for change ever in my life.I know it means not seeing my best friends as much as I do but I have  to do what is best for me. For once I wasn't going to allow my future to be in someone elses hands.Today I took control and did what was best for me. I will be restarting my AS levels, my subjects are now English Lit&Lang, Media Studies and Film Studies. Tomorrow is my first day and I am excited and ready to take control.

Never stop chasing your passion, whatever you do make sure you stay true to yourself

Best For Me

Tuesday 15 September 2015

Results Day

As many know today was the A level results day. Today I got my AS results, and I didn't get anything near what I hoped for. C in photography, D in Media Studies and E in English Literature. I am completely disappointed in myself. Photography I expected, and pleased with. Media that was a shocker, however next year I plan on doing A2 as well as As, which means I will be fixing my AS coursework up and resitting that exam, as well as doing A2 Coursework and Exam. English, wow from being of my best lessons and result at GCSE has turned to my worst at AS Level. Next year I will retaking AS and staying another year to do A2!

I am not disheartened, from this I have a lesson to take. It's obvious I clearly hadn't put enough work in, I let a lot get on top of me so instead of feeling so down about my results it has taught me that this is what happens when you don't put the work in like you should. The first of college admittedly has been quite difficult, but I will be going into my second year hopefully I am more accustomed to things. Determined to make this year better, so next results day I won't be sulking and eating my emotions instead I will be over the moon and celebrating. I plan on so much better this up coming year, I shall get the results I need and I SHALL BE GOING TO UNI!!

- ALSO WELL DONE TO EVERYONE WHO GOT THEIR RESULTS TODAY! IF YOU DID GOOD OR BAD THERE IS STILL HOPE!

Results Day

Thursday 13 August 2015