As of a couple of days ago, I handed in my last bit of Uni work, and I have now finished my degree! Three emotional years, it’s been such a wild ride. For the past three years, I have been studying English Literature and Creative Writing at the University of Brighton. I have learned so much in the space of three years, things about my degree and many things about myself. I have met so many amazing people, new friends and I have experienced so many new things. University has been the best time of my life so far, granted it has not been easy. At times I just wanted to give up, sometimes I felt like I would rather be anywhere else. The friends I had made in Brighton have really kept me going, and have quite frankly kept me sane. From Maccies drives with my number one to Ramen nights' with a housemate. Everyone I have met has really contributed to my time in Brighton. There has been a lot of laughter and a lot of tears. Yesterday, I celebrated with a small get-together (following lockdown rules) and popped a few bottles of champagne. I never had champagne before and can confirm it does not taste so great, two bottles almost to myself did get me a little tipsy. It was a lovely celebration with family when it all calmed down and I had a moment to myself I felt emotional. It finally hit me that I have achieved something so great and now it is all over. I am sad that we could not end the year with a massive celebration due to Covid-19 but we will all see each other again at our graduation ceremony in February. A chapter of my life has ended and now it is time for my next adventure, a new chapter awaits me!
Showing posts with label University. Show all posts
On the 24th of May, I went to see the show Wicked in London. WHAT AN EXPERIENCE!!
It was the first time I had ever seen the show, first time I have seen anything on the west end really- hopefully not the last. I went with my best friend from University, and we were celebrating finishing the second year.
The end of a challenging year, but also the last year of living together. She has been one of my wonderful housemates for two years, and I am saddened that the third year will be different.
We explored London a little more too, we will hopefully be seeing more shows together in the next year or so! Next on the list is Hamilton!
We went for a Nandos, naturally, and just had a blast. After the show we both bought merch, she a T-shirt and I bought a globe that sings and lights up. Before the show I bought a slush with vodka in, it was a tad bit of a disaster as the straw was broke so I just ended up chugging it from the long plastic container- awkward.
The show was stunning, I loved every aspect of it. I live for musicals and this one was just insane!! I will 100% be seeing it again!
What was the last show you went to see?
Wicked!
Friday, 14 June 2019
I submitted my final deadline, of my second year at University, approximately a week or so ago.
What a relief! I did an end of year post last year and its only natural I had to this year too! I hold my hands up to this, but damn has this year been hard. Nothing on the first year of Uni. Sorry to scare all you first years out there, please enjoy first year whilst you can.
Something weird has happened this year, not entirely sure what though. I have worked 100% harder like I have put so much more effort into my work but I cannot help but feel I haven't got my shit together. I keep leaving everything to last minute, which I didn't really do last year, and it is driving me insane.
Realistically, I know it doesn't help working whilst doing my degree but a girl has got to do what a girl has got to do. I finished the second year, I suppose that counts for something. I want to wish for a better third year, and tell you I'll get my shit together over Summer, but will I? I will try but I know I'll be just as stressed this time next year.
That aside, we have to celebrate getting through it. I am super proud of all my fellow students and friends, you guys are amazing. I hope we all have the well-deserved Summer we need!
A week into summer, and I have no clue what to do with my time. It's weird not feeling guilty about doing things, I am so used to that nagging feeling in the back of my head telling me to do work. I am currently on a two-week break from work too, I am visiting home and enjoying long baths again and naps. Oh, the naps!
I joined the gym too, a good way to kick off Summer. I am writing this whilst a bath is running, I am using the most gorgeous yellow bath bomb. I have been using quite a few bath bombs whilst being home, I might do a blog post rating and recommending some.
I am not sure what I am going to do when I am not working over Summer so I have created a Summer goals list, something to complete and work towards and make sure I don't just waste Summer.
Summer goals:
- Read at least 15 books
- Socialise more (this is important because I have a habit of playing sims all day)
- Gym 3-4 times a week
- Cook more (pot noodles don't count)
- Finish Glee
- Finish writing memoir
I didn't want to set too many, but I feel like I have created a chilled list. Nothing in the list is unrealistic, it includes everything I enjoy doing. I am really looking forward to spending my first Summer in Brighton. I am hoping to start reading the books for the third year, but we will see...
What are some of your Summer goals?
2/3
Thursday, 6 June 2019
As a student almost everything is expensive. Food, travel and just basic living. My hometown is over 300 miles up the country and my University is the bottom of the country. To get to A to B I use the not so classy transportation of Megabus. It’s a long ass journey but it’s cheap and usually a pretty easy journey. Unless there is a few individuals on board that just piss you off immediately! This is a list of people you may come across on your journey on a megabus!
1) The one having a phone call out loud! Not only are they shouting down the phone, before 10am may I add, but also has their conversation on loud speaker. So two people shouting and one isn’t even on the bus! Did I mention it usually goes on for the majority of the journey?
2) Can’t type their conversation person, similar to the one before but only they sit beside you at Wake Field and voice notes all of their friends until Sheffield!
3) Constant Pee Person, I always make the stupid mistake of sitting near the door in the middle which is also where the toilet is located but also one of the few charging ports on board. On a long journey you can’t help but notice people going to the toilet, or one person going at least 9 times during the one journey. Not judging just worried for you hun.
4) The idiot. On my last journey home the driver was forced to stop the bus and couldn’t continue the journey for a while... all because some idiot decided it would be a good idea to smoke in the toilet. Brilliant, it’s not as if the bus was already two hours behind on this journey already. Thanks for that.
5) Music for all. I’m not talking loud earphones or the driving having the radio on because that’s chill. You blast those earphones but please don’t play the music on your phone out loud. We aren’t thirteen nor are we in a local park. We are adults on a bus, please remember that. You’re not the megabus DJ and and quite frankly your music taste is a little crap and disturbing. I kind of want to sleep through the journey not rave with a headache.
6) Smelly food person. I understand you need to eat trust me I wanted to bring a McDonalds on board too but I decided to have consideration for all of the other passengers on board. After all, no one wants to be on a stinky bus for 9 hours. Clearly I’m the only person with this consideration, great. I also feel like if I tried to do this the one time, everyone would probably hate me.
7) Clueless person. This person I guess is somewhat helpless but you’re also helpless and can’t actually help this person. Yet the clueless person continues to ask you when the bus is coming or how long until we get to this place and the thing is I’m not the driver of the bus I have no clue what is going on either. I don’t know why the drivers have been switched, I don’t know when we are going to Leeds. I’ve never stopped in Leeds my stop is Newcastle, the last stop. Please leave me alone and ask the driver who has more of a clue that the both of us.
Fully aware this was more of a rant type of post but trust me it was needed! I meet all of these type of people every time I get on a long journey. There are probably a lot more, and I’m sure I’ll come across many more people who annoy me. I will be getting another Megabus coach in July and then again in September. Maybe there will be a Coach People 2.0. Have you come across any annoying people on a coach? Should I do more of these? For example ‘The types of people you find in an airport?’ I work in an airport and have been for a week and trust me I can go on forever about those types of people!
Coach People
Monday, 11 June 2018
My first year at University has almost come to an end. Three days away from my last presentation and then that's it until October. I have to say, University is not what I thought it was going to be. If I had to describe my overall experience so far in one word, it would have to be; bizarre. Truth be told it was not what I thought it would be like. It is such weird but wonderful place. I've been a drunken mess on several occasions, I've lost count of the number of times I've embarrassed myself. I survived, not just the social side but the educational side too. Despite being told the majority of the things you've learned up until this point is useless... Like any institution, you get the good lecturers, the great lecturers and the ones where you may as well teach yourself the course. I've found that majority of the modules have been pretty good, and enjoyable. Others, not soo much but what can you do? You win some you lose some. Granted this took me a while to grasp, tried to stop hating a certain module and just gave up completely and did everything myself.
My first year? Honestly, it's been emotional, many kitchen floor dramas my own and my friends'. It's been a good year, I don't regret a thing. You get used to the homesickness, it hits you here and there but if you're busy (or mask your feelings by naps) you will be fine. I feel like this year has been a mess, like a complete mess of wtf is going on?
I am looking forward to the year ahead, moving into a proper house with the girls. Doing modules I am actually interested in. I feel like Uni gets better with time, I can't imagine what mad things will occur in the upcoming years.
University has introduced me to so many amazing people, granted I think I met a lot of them drunk and now I can't even remember their names. I met the four girls I will be living with next year, they're crazy and unique, I can't wait to spend the next couple years with you weirdos. The people on my course are gold, such creative people who are just wonderful.
I have to say the thing I am most proud of with Uni (besides passing) is that despite being offered ket a few times I haven't given in. I am not judging those who do, like have a blast (be careful) I just didn't want to get into that, and I haven't! HOORAY TO SAFE STUDYING! This time next week I'll be back home in Newcastle, ready to spend Summer working and reading!
Almost Done
Monday, 28 May 2018
This is a little chapter I had written a couple months ago. It was part of a fictional journal I created for the Narrative module on my degree. This piece was inspired by Alice and Wonderland by Lewis Caroll and Cat O' Nine tails by Julia Goulding. It was a fun piece to write and I have decided to share it on here! I am not sure I'll ever carry this piece forward but I did enjoy writing it.
Coral Ali
It did not take me long to realise that I was not like other girls. Now I look back, all the signs were there. At the age of four at the fancy dress parties, all the girls would come dressed as princesses and I insisted on coming as a pirate. Every single time. I did not care, I loved dressing up as different fictional pirates. I remember the day trips my parents took me on, I always wanted to visit the beach. I did not care much for dolls, instead I was far more intrigued by boats and treasure. I had always been fascinated with pirates and the sea, I am still unsure where this fascination has stemmed from but at a young age, I decided I wanted my own ship and to sail the sea with my crew. I wanted to be a real-life pirate. I got my first job at sixteen, minimum wage at the docks. This was where my pirate days began to come to life. I began helping load cargo, washing down some of the boats that came in every week. It was here where I bet a boy, a boy who later became my best friend and sailing partner. The boy was called Joe Shield, he thought I was mad. We both became apprenticed on the same ship together at the same time, she was called Coral Ali. She was small but a beauty, we were the only apprentices of the owner, Timmy Redding. We didn’t see much of him, he told us what to do and let us get on with it. Joe and I became close quickly, I told him about my dream of owning my own ship and having my crew. Joe wasn’t a very imaginative guy but asked if he could tag along, help me with my crew and to mend the ship if it needed it. His home life was a wreck, and I figured he needed an escape just as much as me. Together on board of the Coral Ali we learned how to maintain a boat, how to fix any occurring problems. Timmy only taught Joe how to sail though, he did not think it was a girl’s job. He was not a huge fan of me, I think he only hired me because I was the only other person to accept the low pay job alongside Joe. I began to hate Timmy quickly, but I respected him. He would let us travel on the boat with him sometimes, I witnessed him making hundreds of trades. He is a tough man, built well but stern. He would let no man mess him around, and he became my inspiration as a captain. Our dislike for each other fuelled me to work harder, Joe was a good guy, but I managed to further myself as an apprentice quicker than he. I did help him when I could, he was never salty. We both enjoyed each other’s company. Later Joe taught me to sail, everything Timmy taught him he taught me, I will always be grateful for that. We worked on board of Coral Ali for a good three years, until Timmy went off the rails and crashed her, smashing poor Coral into smithereens. Joe and I were heartbroken. Timmy snapped at us.
“I am done with her, you two do as you please with her remains. Your apprentice is done, we are through,” Timmy had given up and lost all his passion. That hurt my heart. To this today I still could not imagine the heartache of losing your love for something.
Even though we were both upset by the termination of our apprenticeship, we soon found something new. Together we decided it was time to live out my dream, and that’s when we took Timmy’s words with us. We took Coral’s remains, she looked damaged beyond repair. There was no way we could have fixed her, instead, we decided we were going to build a whole new ship entirely.
Coral Ali
Monday, 21 May 2018
Like every other Tattoo I have done I blog about it! Naturally, here they are. Today I got two tattoos, at the North Road Tattoo parlour in Brighton. I highly recommend, the studio is clean and looks pretty cool. The tattooist was such a lovely gentleman. And the other colloeague who did my friend's tattoo was also just as lovely! As you know if you've got a tattoo the experience is always much more pleasant if the people who work there are talkative and just genuinely people, which these people were.
A friend and I booked our tattoos together and we were both so excited about getting our tattoos today. So if you haven't seen already on my Instagram here is one of my new tattoos. My second Harry Potter tattoo. The Slytherin tie mine and the Gryffindor tie is my friend Tiana's tattoo. Both of us absolutely adore Harry Potter!
My second Tattoo is a little one. I didn't share this one on my Instagram so it is an exclusive I guess for my blog. It's something fun, a memory. This being my first year in University, and my first time moving away from home. I got the number 4. The flat I live in for Univerity is Flat 4. I know it's silly but why not? Next year it happens that we move into a house that is number 44. So Next year I will be adding another 4 but in pink because it's an all-girls house. Plus, it would look pretty cool.
A friend and I booked our tattoos together and we were both so excited about getting our tattoos today. So if you haven't seen already on my Instagram here is one of my new tattoos. My second Harry Potter tattoo. The Slytherin tie mine and the Gryffindor tie is my friend Tiana's tattoo. Both of us absolutely adore Harry Potter!
My second Tattoo is a little one. I didn't share this one on my Instagram so it is an exclusive I guess for my blog. It's something fun, a memory. This being my first year in University, and my first time moving away from home. I got the number 4. The flat I live in for Univerity is Flat 4. I know it's silly but why not? Next year it happens that we move into a house that is number 44. So Next year I will be adding another 4 but in pink because it's an all-girls house. Plus, it would look pretty cool.
Two Tattoos!
Wednesday, 18 April 2018
Every once in a while I feel the need for change, and this time I decided to change the layout of my blog. If you haven't noticed already... if you're on a phone you might not see the full change but I am working on phone layout too! I just feel as though my old layout was getting a bit dull and I just wanted things a bit more lively! I am living for my new colour scheme, and I have even changed somethings around. I just feel like a refresh really motivates me, it makes me want to write more and work harder on my blog. Instead of posting randomly whenever I feel like it. I am aiming to post weekly, sometimes my brain is just like 'naahh mate I've got nothing for you.' which isn't helpful but it's something I am working on.
I have been working on one of my other pages too. I have added a new page Ramblings. I say new page but I edited the name and content of 'Desires' mainly because it sounded weird. I gave that page a little makeover too. I decided that it will be my rambling pages, where I get to write crap basically. Things that don't make the cut for my main blog, but is still important enough for me to want to write it. It's nothing serious. I did post a piece over on there today though, I had written it on my main blog a couple months ago but I don't think it's the right content for here, so I never posted it. I talk about clubbing and emotional comedowns, it's not a very chirpy blog post mind.
This post isn't exactly exciting but I am chuffed with my new layout. I am aiming to try and post every Monday, mainly because I hate Monday's so I am trying this new thing out where I approach things positively. Instead of thinking 'oh fuck it's Monday' I am trying to think 'Yey blog day!!'. We will see how well this turns out!
I have been working on one of my other pages too. I have added a new page Ramblings. I say new page but I edited the name and content of 'Desires' mainly because it sounded weird. I gave that page a little makeover too. I decided that it will be my rambling pages, where I get to write crap basically. Things that don't make the cut for my main blog, but is still important enough for me to want to write it. It's nothing serious. I did post a piece over on there today though, I had written it on my main blog a couple months ago but I don't think it's the right content for here, so I never posted it. I talk about clubbing and emotional comedowns, it's not a very chirpy blog post mind.
This post isn't exactly exciting but I am chuffed with my new layout. I am aiming to try and post every Monday, mainly because I hate Monday's so I am trying this new thing out where I approach things positively. Instead of thinking 'oh fuck it's Monday' I am trying to think 'Yey blog day!!'. We will see how well this turns out!
New Layout & Ramblings
Tuesday, 27 March 2018
My first Semester in University: daaammnn. Today as I handed in my Narrative Journal semester one came to a close. Excitement and relief are the emotions that flooded me instantly. I survived semester one.
Challenging times, many books that I perhaps didn't like all too much, but with a Literature degree, you have to bite the dust and plough through it. Out of the many books and various texts, you have to read you're pretty much more or less guaranteed to like at least one text. Fortunately, this was the case for me. I enjoy reading books I would never usually read, so that aspect has been great.
I feel as though semester one has been a creative semester. I have been trying out new writing techniques, written my first script and now due to an entry I submitted in my journal I am quite inspired to start writing a novel. Due to the semester end we have a two week break before starting semester two, I am excited to put this to use and get started on the novel as well as catch up on reading. I have been buying new books and I have not had the time to sit down and indulge in the pages.
The semester started with an unsure vibe, adjusting to the University life as well as struggling with the jump from A Level to University level. First semester I've been finding my feet, breakdown central but I wouldn't change a second of it. I feel as though now that the semester has come to a close the past few weeks I’ve had my shit together, like properly. Minimal breakdowns, I’ve been focusied on my goals. Uni and just improving myself in general. I beat two of my deadlines as well as handing in today, and left nothing to last minute. To celebrate and refresh my mind I went to the gym after hand in. Third time this week, I’m really feeling motivated for self improvement.
I am very excited for Semster two, my modules change which is exciting and refreshing. I feel a change is needed. Something new to set my mind on, excited for the creative writing aspect too. Semester one has been insane for writing, I’m hoping Semester two will be just as good!
Now it’s time to treat myself to some Wine and a new book!!
Expect a book review for Louise Pentland’s Wilde Like Me either this weekend or early next week! I’ve been looking forward to reading this gem!
Semester 1 - Completed it Mate!!
Friday, 19 January 2018
Tomorrow I head back to Brighton, it’s been a marvellous three weeks at home but I have to say: I’ve missed the Uni life!
Today is my Niece’s fourth birthday, I couldn’t miss it for the world hence why I’m going tomorrow. My last week at home has been wonderful and bizarre. I’ve seen my best friends, had some valuable bonding time with my family, got an amazing new tattoo, spend lots of time with my double bed before our departure, and today my sister and niece talked me into dying my hair.
I’m in love with my tattoo, my tattooist Demi Patten is so talented! It’s getting finished at the end of the month, colour added as well as getting another new tattoo! Janaury is looking like a good month!
The hair dye situation, it was supposed to be just the underneath but it messed up. From what should have been underneath has leaked into my whole hair. I was freaking out at first but I’m warming to it.
No doubt I will change it in a couple weeks and go back to my original hair colour brown!
Loved spending the day with my niece, I can’t believe she’s four. Four years she has been my little best friend, we wind each other up and make each other laugh like their is no tomorrow.
She dressed up as Moana today and we sang along to the soundtrack and just had an amazing day. She has her birthday party tomorrow with all her little nursery friends and I’ll be on the train back to Brighton...
Last Week at Home
Friday, 5 January 2018
I have returned back up North! Last week I left Brighton to go home for Christmas, and I could not be happier. I love University, and my flatmates are the most incredible people but boy, have I missed home! After being away for three months there was no better feeling than cuddling (and sobbing ) my dear mother. Nothing beats a hug from your mam.
Naturally, in order to get to Newcastle, I had to travel to London first. The little part I got to see is beautiful at Christmas, very different from what I saw three months ago upon my arrival. It was very festive, which made me even eager to be home with my family. Three trains later I arrived in Newcastle.
The first two trains were somewhat unpleasant, just busy. It was quite soothing the train from Kingscross, the sound of other geordies picked up my mood.
I love my flatmates but it can be quite overpowering being surrounded by southerners all the time. Especially since they cannot understand me half the time. Whilst being at Brighton there has been quite a few communication issues, here a couple.
1) During freshers, a drunk time for many, I offered a flatmate a can of Dark Fruits, in which I got the response 'why would he want dog food?' - funny but frustrating.
2) I had a job interview, you know how it is with money when you're a student, even if you're not it's that time of year. So my potential employer asks me the usual questions and one being 'what do you do for hobbies' my response being my usual one, I like to write and read- I've had a poem published. He looked at me horrified and responded 'what, you've published porn??' not only was I howling but we were both embarrassed. Once I corrected him, we had a bit banter about it. But,it would be my luck for porn to come up in an interview.
I have been home just a little over a week, my first proper day back I went out to explore. Granted, this wasn't on purpose. I came home from Uni early due to an orthodontics appointment which I had on my phone for half 10 the next morning. I was wrong, it wasn't until half 3 but I didn't find this out until I was already in town. Going down Brighton definitely has made me appreciate my hometown more, I am embracing my inner commoner. I walked down streets with ease, which in all honesty I haven't done in Brighton yet- mainly because I still have to use Google Maps to get everywhere. With Newcastle it is home, I know it like the back of my hand. No maps needed, no worry just home.
I love Newcastle at Christmas. The stalls are up near monument, foods from different continents fill the air and the busy vibes just make you feel home. Plus, the Christmas shop opens. The shop that pretty much stays closed all year and then when December hits it's the most festive sight ever.
I loved being reunited with my family, my niece especially. She hugged me so tight and I cried tears of happiness. I hate to be smushy but before Uni we hadn't really been apart since she was born. So, three months was difficult- I was unbelievably homesick but I managed. I love being able to take her to nursery again, putting her to bed and her distracting me with loads of little stories to escape falling asleep. I am back at work, it feels good to be back. I was worried I had forgotten how to do bets but I had no worries. I am enjoying the familiarity.
I have to say, I do miss my flatmates. In Brighton they are my family, I'm lucky to have that dynamic. I am so close to the girls it is comforting. University is already altering me, my social life as well as the growth of knowledge. My wardrobe has had some changes too- I didn't know what a bralette was before, now I own quite a few! University is an amazing experience, weird but amazing. It is hard, no doubt about that- the workload as well as moving away from home. But, the hardest part is over.
Naturally, in order to get to Newcastle, I had to travel to London first. The little part I got to see is beautiful at Christmas, very different from what I saw three months ago upon my arrival. It was very festive, which made me even eager to be home with my family. Three trains later I arrived in Newcastle.
The first two trains were somewhat unpleasant, just busy. It was quite soothing the train from Kingscross, the sound of other geordies picked up my mood.
I love my flatmates but it can be quite overpowering being surrounded by southerners all the time. Especially since they cannot understand me half the time. Whilst being at Brighton there has been quite a few communication issues, here a couple.
1) During freshers, a drunk time for many, I offered a flatmate a can of Dark Fruits, in which I got the response 'why would he want dog food?' - funny but frustrating.
2) I had a job interview, you know how it is with money when you're a student, even if you're not it's that time of year. So my potential employer asks me the usual questions and one being 'what do you do for hobbies' my response being my usual one, I like to write and read- I've had a poem published. He looked at me horrified and responded 'what, you've published porn??' not only was I howling but we were both embarrassed. Once I corrected him, we had a bit banter about it. But,it would be my luck for porn to come up in an interview.
I have been home just a little over a week, my first proper day back I went out to explore. Granted, this wasn't on purpose. I came home from Uni early due to an orthodontics appointment which I had on my phone for half 10 the next morning. I was wrong, it wasn't until half 3 but I didn't find this out until I was already in town. Going down Brighton definitely has made me appreciate my hometown more, I am embracing my inner commoner. I walked down streets with ease, which in all honesty I haven't done in Brighton yet- mainly because I still have to use Google Maps to get everywhere. With Newcastle it is home, I know it like the back of my hand. No maps needed, no worry just home.
I love Newcastle at Christmas. The stalls are up near monument, foods from different continents fill the air and the busy vibes just make you feel home. Plus, the Christmas shop opens. The shop that pretty much stays closed all year and then when December hits it's the most festive sight ever.
I loved being reunited with my family, my niece especially. She hugged me so tight and I cried tears of happiness. I hate to be smushy but before Uni we hadn't really been apart since she was born. So, three months was difficult- I was unbelievably homesick but I managed. I love being able to take her to nursery again, putting her to bed and her distracting me with loads of little stories to escape falling asleep. I am back at work, it feels good to be back. I was worried I had forgotten how to do bets but I had no worries. I am enjoying the familiarity.
I have to say, I do miss my flatmates. In Brighton they are my family, I'm lucky to have that dynamic. I am so close to the girls it is comforting. University is already altering me, my social life as well as the growth of knowledge. My wardrobe has had some changes too- I didn't know what a bralette was before, now I own quite a few! University is an amazing experience, weird but amazing. It is hard, no doubt about that- the workload as well as moving away from home. But, the hardest part is over.
Reunited with my doubled bed- single is shit! |
Home for Christmas
Wednesday, 20 December 2017
We aren’t hungry for food but –
we are hungry for
things.
We have this urge; this drive
Get through school, college, uni
Join a career.
Money is our escape?
We need money for our hunger for food –
And things.
Surrounded by things
We may die alone
But things can’t hurt you
like people can.
Things can’t break your heart.
Things
Wednesday, 1 November 2017
Pebbles
Rough, Rigged and Rocky- an expanse of sand or pebbles along a shore. Every beach I have ever walked along filled me with serene happiness. The pads of my feet meeting silk sand whilst my worries washed away with the waves. I had always loved beaches, most of my fond childhood memories were set at the beach- being chased by seagulls laughing until tears were as defined as the sand that coated my chips. I haven’t walked along this beach for 5 years, to this day. Here I am, stepping onto cold pebbles that unnerve my soul. Each step like ice to my chest. The sea haunts me, its screams flickering harshly against the pier. The pier that taunts my nightmares and shattered my whole being.
Allow me to take you back, to the first time my life altered forever. Nine years ago, I fell in love. I had just graduated from University, I got a first in my degree. I was hopeful and ready for the world to unleash itself upon me. As a naive northern twenty-one-year-old, I assumed I had mapped my life out before me. I was ready to roar in the industry I had finished my degree in; business, ready to make millions and be the next self-made Sara Blakely- only without the restricting material- I left my hometown and went down south. To Brighton to be exact. I found a nice little one-bedroom apartment, almost on the seafront. I say almost because I can see the sea from my window, alongside a rubbish tip. But, nonetheless, the stench could not overpower my eagerness.
A professor from my degree put me in touch with a small-time business, who were eager to hire graduates. I attended an interview, smartly dressed with bravery on a broach and wisdom around my chest like a sachet. That day I did not get the job but I did get the number of the male assistant who followed the boss around. This is where life took me in a whirl, to pay rent I started working in a bar. The office guy who gave me his number kept trying to make a date with me but I had always been too busy to make the time for him.
One night he wandered into the bar, I remember his face beaming at me to finally see me again- and it was purely an accident. I was still busy but every other night he would come back to the bar just to sit and talk to me. He was my distraction from the drunk men ogling at me and the abuse that was hailed at me often. It was two weeks into this when I finally agreed to let him take me on a date. I didn’t want anything acentric so we walked along these very pebbles eating fish and chips as the sun began to fall asleep. All of the most significant moments in our relationship took place on Brighton beach, it is where it all began. It is where it all ended.
____
In the introduction week of University we were asked to write a 500 word piece of prose, we were allowed to write any genre as long as it was set in Brighton. So I came up with this little fiction piece,w hich essentially would be an opening chapter to a novel.
500 Words of Prose
Tuesday, 24 October 2017
Aloha!!
As promised here is my Uni post! However, due to there being a lot of content and things to write about I have decided to section things. This way you aren't scrolling down forever plus I have limited free time due to studying. So this post will be about moving to University, how I'm coping and meeting my flatmates and what not- the basics and the beginning. I shall be doing a few Uni posts in the future about different topics such as: Making my room my own, Night Life, Lectures and Seminar tips and just how I am dealing with everything. I may even make Uni posts a weekly thing and my other content just whenever I feel like it. So, let's begin.
23rd of September I moved to Brighton. At 04:45AM I sobbed farewells to my family and set off down South. After 6 and a half hours of traveling, a change over in London I arrived at Brighton station, feeling overwhelmed and excited to the core. This was the first time being in the city on my own. I had previously been here with my mother so it was bizarre to be lugging a case figuring out my next step.
I say lugging a case because that's all I came up with, a huge heavy ass case and a bulging backpack. I did this journey alone because for a long time I have had this need to be independent. I was sobbing on the train but decided to spend the majority of my train journey between small naps, drinking hot chocolate and reading a book.
I couldn't pack my entire 19 years of life into a single case so back home I packed everything and got everything I had missed delivered down to me- which has been mighty convenient. Plus I love that feeling of knowing you have a delivery on its way- extremely satisfying. My family is the best! Being so supportive and patient with me- thanks parents for sending my belongings down and surprises!
London was busy, like always. I love London but it's just so rushed. You never get the chance to absorb your surroundings. I was worried when I arrived in London, I had no clue where I was or where to go next. Google Maps- always the answer. To be fair, I was only at Kingross and needed to get to St Pancras International- it is literally around the corner. It was definitely a dumb moment on my part.
From Brighton station, I got into a taxi to my accommodation campus Varley Park. The driver was lovely and advised me on taxi services and student nights out. He essentially was the first person I talked to upon my arrival.
As soon as I had arrived I got my keys, this was very exciting. Into the flat I moved, I met my housemates one by one at various times through the day. I was worried about this- but I really shouldn't have been. Almost two weeks later and I feel like I have known my 4 flatmates my entire life- they're funny, crazy, slightly alcoholic but most of all the best flatmates I could have ever asked for. However, we do have some communication issues. Mainly because I am a northerner. There has been a couple of times where what I've said has been mistaken for something else. Last week I offered a flatmate a can of dark fruits- they thought I said dog food. I still laugh at this. The other day, I got a delivery with my hulk (teddy) and I've been excited about it the whole week. I showed him to my flatmates in our group chat, and well. For the entire week, they thought I'd been saying 'hug' they just assumed I named a stuffed animal hug.
I love my room, I am excited to show you guys the transformation.
The first week was crazy, nights out, attending introductory lectures. I think the first week was hard on me, by the weekend I had homesickness swelling in my heart. Every time I FaceTime a family member I come off the phone almost sobbing. I miss Kara, my niece, especially. I miss taking her to nursery, and picking her up. Reading her books before sleeping, and having lazy days watching Moana and Trollz on repeat. I miss her waking me up every morning, just because she wanted to see me. It's strange going from seeing someone every day to literally not being able to see them until December.
I am not as homesick now, but little things make me miss home. Like the other night, we had crumble for pudding, and it instantly made me miss my dad. He makes the best homemade rhubarb crumble known to mankind. Sleeping is still uneasy on me, the first night I slept so much but that was due to exhaustion of traveling and since it's been a few hours here and there. I sleep better through the day than at night. My wonderful mother has sent up my hulk, you will probably see him in the photographs on the next Uni post. He smells of home and he's good to cuddle. My mother also sent up a huge wool blanket she knitted, especially for Uni. I love it so much, I think I would be a mess and even more homesick without it. A little piece of home with me.
I have always known I wanted to move away from home, and I have always anticipated it as this great big adventure, which it is, I just didn't give it a thought about how much I'd actually miss home. I don't regret my decisions, I am excited about the future and I love University. I just think it will take some time to get used to.
Until next week!
As promised here is my Uni post! However, due to there being a lot of content and things to write about I have decided to section things. This way you aren't scrolling down forever plus I have limited free time due to studying. So this post will be about moving to University, how I'm coping and meeting my flatmates and what not- the basics and the beginning. I shall be doing a few Uni posts in the future about different topics such as: Making my room my own, Night Life, Lectures and Seminar tips and just how I am dealing with everything. I may even make Uni posts a weekly thing and my other content just whenever I feel like it. So, let's begin.
Newcastle Central Station |
I say lugging a case because that's all I came up with, a huge heavy ass case and a bulging backpack. I did this journey alone because for a long time I have had this need to be independent. I was sobbing on the train but decided to spend the majority of my train journey between small naps, drinking hot chocolate and reading a book.
I couldn't pack my entire 19 years of life into a single case so back home I packed everything and got everything I had missed delivered down to me- which has been mighty convenient. Plus I love that feeling of knowing you have a delivery on its way- extremely satisfying. My family is the best! Being so supportive and patient with me- thanks parents for sending my belongings down and surprises!
London was busy, like always. I love London but it's just so rushed. You never get the chance to absorb your surroundings. I was worried when I arrived in London, I had no clue where I was or where to go next. Google Maps- always the answer. To be fair, I was only at Kingross and needed to get to St Pancras International- it is literally around the corner. It was definitely a dumb moment on my part.
From Brighton station, I got into a taxi to my accommodation campus Varley Park. The driver was lovely and advised me on taxi services and student nights out. He essentially was the first person I talked to upon my arrival.
As soon as I had arrived I got my keys, this was very exciting. Into the flat I moved, I met my housemates one by one at various times through the day. I was worried about this- but I really shouldn't have been. Almost two weeks later and I feel like I have known my 4 flatmates my entire life- they're funny, crazy, slightly alcoholic but most of all the best flatmates I could have ever asked for. However, we do have some communication issues. Mainly because I am a northerner. There has been a couple of times where what I've said has been mistaken for something else. Last week I offered a flatmate a can of dark fruits- they thought I said dog food. I still laugh at this. The other day, I got a delivery with my hulk (teddy) and I've been excited about it the whole week. I showed him to my flatmates in our group chat, and well. For the entire week, they thought I'd been saying 'hug' they just assumed I named a stuffed animal hug.
I love my room, I am excited to show you guys the transformation.
The first week was crazy, nights out, attending introductory lectures. I think the first week was hard on me, by the weekend I had homesickness swelling in my heart. Every time I FaceTime a family member I come off the phone almost sobbing. I miss Kara, my niece, especially. I miss taking her to nursery, and picking her up. Reading her books before sleeping, and having lazy days watching Moana and Trollz on repeat. I miss her waking me up every morning, just because she wanted to see me. It's strange going from seeing someone every day to literally not being able to see them until December.
I am not as homesick now, but little things make me miss home. Like the other night, we had crumble for pudding, and it instantly made me miss my dad. He makes the best homemade rhubarb crumble known to mankind. Sleeping is still uneasy on me, the first night I slept so much but that was due to exhaustion of traveling and since it's been a few hours here and there. I sleep better through the day than at night. My wonderful mother has sent up my hulk, you will probably see him in the photographs on the next Uni post. He smells of home and he's good to cuddle. My mother also sent up a huge wool blanket she knitted, especially for Uni. I love it so much, I think I would be a mess and even more homesick without it. A little piece of home with me.
I have always known I wanted to move away from home, and I have always anticipated it as this great big adventure, which it is, I just didn't give it a thought about how much I'd actually miss home. I don't regret my decisions, I am excited about the future and I love University. I just think it will take some time to get used to.
Until next week!
The Move ((University))
Saturday, 7 October 2017
As you may have read in my little prose earlier - I was petrified of not getting into University. I had self-doubt up to my eyeballs. I managed to get to sleep after about half 3ish. I woke up at seven-ish. And by ten past I had the answer blaring at me through the screen of my phone.
I want to thank especially Olivia - you are my actual rock, and I am glad I met you, thanks to NSFC I have a friend for life! Christine and Paul - you two are the life of NSFC, your support has meant the world to me and I cannot thank you enough for making the experience of A Levels better, good luck for the future - Christine with your amazing bodycombat teaching, and Paul with bringing a new life into the world, you will be an amazing parent! Carolyn, the wittiest woman I've ever met 'throwing shade' every lesson, never failing to make every lesson the best. Angela, last but not least! Thank you for believing in me and my writing, you encouraged me to write more and inspired me to put my work out into the world- and I cannot thank you enough! Good luck with your writing!
I am so grateful and relieved that A Levels are over, a chapter of my life has come to a close and I am ready for the next - whatever it may be.
I got into my first choice - The University of Brighton. I am still ecstatic. They emailed me first thing this morning telling me I was accepted. This made going in for my results much easier, a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I still cannot believe it, I get to call Brighton my home for the next 3/4 years- that is taking sometime to process. I am so thankful and proud of the support around me, my friends and family mean the absolute world to me. Not only am I proud of myself, for actually doing something I believe in and chasing my dream, I am proud of my friends for chasing theirs. A Levels were hell, break downs and endless amount of work but we got each other through it. Even if it was sharing a passion for hatred towards a lesson or little positive compliments that would make you smile after a rough day. Moving to Newcastle Sixth Form College was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I am so thankful and grateful for everything.
It's such a relief knowing I can enjoy the rest of my Summer without the worry of not knowing my place. I am excited about the future. I'm sure moving so far away from home will come with many challenges but there is nothing that I am not willing to overcome. A Levels have taught me a few things, other than media institutions, camera angles and the use of caesura. I have learned that if you don't do something right the first time, try again until you do. I am glad I didn't give up in September of 2015; when my old sixth form told me I shouldn't pursue English. I have learned that independence is an important quality. How good it is to have people around you, and be able to depend on - it is just as important to be able to depend on yourself and have faith in your decisions. I have also learned that it is important to let go, this I didn't learn directly through lessons but more so through personal events that happened towards the end of my time at NSFC. Not everything needs a reaction, but also it is okay to feel everything and nothing. It's okay to not have your shit together, you should have to do what is best for you - even if it makes no sense to anyone else.
I want to thank especially Olivia - you are my actual rock, and I am glad I met you, thanks to NSFC I have a friend for life! Christine and Paul - you two are the life of NSFC, your support has meant the world to me and I cannot thank you enough for making the experience of A Levels better, good luck for the future - Christine with your amazing bodycombat teaching, and Paul with bringing a new life into the world, you will be an amazing parent! Carolyn, the wittiest woman I've ever met 'throwing shade' every lesson, never failing to make every lesson the best. Angela, last but not least! Thank you for believing in me and my writing, you encouraged me to write more and inspired me to put my work out into the world- and I cannot thank you enough! Good luck with your writing!
I am so grateful and relieved that A Levels are over, a chapter of my life has come to a close and I am ready for the next - whatever it may be.
#SUMMERBLOGGIN
Next Chapter
Thursday, 17 August 2017
This Summer has been weird. So far, at least. I have been anticipating results day which is exactly 5 days away. It is difficult to enjoy your time off when you have the nagging worried feeling in your chest that you may have messed up your chance to go to Uni in September - fun right? Despite my wonderful friends and family showing me their endless support I of course still have plenty of doubt.
At the beginning of Summer, I roughly had a plan of things to do, which is still coming along nicely. I have been to gigs, nights out, seeing friends, even did a photo shoot (will post pictures later in the week) and I have been writing a novel. It is early days but I am quite happy with how it is coming along nicely- I will post more details in the months to come. I have also been obsessed with Celebrity Big Brother this year. I never watch it but as soon as I heard that Trisha Paytas (my favourite Youtuber) was going on, I have not missed an episode. I am living for her and the show.
Despite, results day dawning upon us next week I am still excited for the weeks ahead. My last shift at work is in 17 days and in 18 days I am away to Spain for two weeks. And then, hopefully, results day goes well I will be moving to Brighton in 43 days.
This Summer me and my best friend Olivia have put down a deposit for a holiday next Summer - eleven days in EGPYT!! Excited would be an understatement. I will be blogging both on my holidays Spain this year and Egypt next year, may even do some video stuff - so keep eyes peeled.
There will be more Uni content after results day so hacks and advice and naturally my experiences to come!
#SUMMERBLOGGIN
Summer Update
Friday, 11 August 2017
Hello loyal readers!
Firstly, I will begin to say that I apologize for being awol this month. It is exam season, and well life threw me a curveball this month in my personal life. But, I am back in the frame of mind of writing again. This month has perhaps been one of the most difficult in my life so far, but I plowed through focusing on my exams and nothing else. My last exam was yesterday, and it was such a relief to have finally finished A Levels after 3 long years. The pressure to not fuck up has been real, I am not sure how results day will go, some of my exams were tough, but I know not to dwell on them right now. I did my best and it's all out of my hands right now.
To celebrate finishing A Levels with my friends, after my exam we decided to get drunk. Pitchers at the ready of course. It was a nice end to three years.
I want to talk about how it took me three years to finish A-Levels, I am aware it took my longer than a lot of my peers but it was important it took me three years. This time last year I was finishing AS for the second time round, and I've been thinking about my state of mind then compared to now. If I hadn't of messed up my first year and had gone to Uni last September, I honestly do not think I would have been ready. I was still worried on where I wanted to go in life, whereas now? I feel more steady, and I know I want to do English and going into the publishing industry. It took me the last year or so to discover myself, I know what I want and where I want to go. I have learned a lot about myself due to taking that extra year to complete A Levels. I am glad I messed up my first year, I would not be the person I am today without it.
I want to say that. it is okay to fuck up. We all do it, you just have to learn from your mistakes and try again. It might take you longer to get to the place you want to be, you friends may even be ahead of you, but that is okay. You are doing this for yourself, and no one else. Do it at your own pace, and just keep going, you will get exactly where you are meant to be, even if like myself it takes an extra year. You have got this.
I started my first day of summer with a good eleven and a half hours sleep, it was perfect not having to wake up for an alarm. I am quite optimistic about this Summer. The Summer before university. So far I have a gig planned, a cinema screening of a friend's film, a party to go to, pride, holiday to Spain and my best friend from Manchester is visiting so no doubt we will be up to many adventures. Those are the set in stone plans, no doubt there will be many more spontaneous plans on the cards. I also plan on writing a book, or begin to, this Summer. I am continuing a piece I did for my English Coursework, it is historic fiction, I will do a post on it with more detail another time!
Expect more summer posts. for example, I am shopping for holiday clothes this week so I may do a little holiday haul for you!
Firstly, I will begin to say that I apologize for being awol this month. It is exam season, and well life threw me a curveball this month in my personal life. But, I am back in the frame of mind of writing again. This month has perhaps been one of the most difficult in my life so far, but I plowed through focusing on my exams and nothing else. My last exam was yesterday, and it was such a relief to have finally finished A Levels after 3 long years. The pressure to not fuck up has been real, I am not sure how results day will go, some of my exams were tough, but I know not to dwell on them right now. I did my best and it's all out of my hands right now.
To celebrate finishing A Levels with my friends, after my exam we decided to get drunk. Pitchers at the ready of course. It was a nice end to three years.
I want to talk about how it took me three years to finish A-Levels, I am aware it took my longer than a lot of my peers but it was important it took me three years. This time last year I was finishing AS for the second time round, and I've been thinking about my state of mind then compared to now. If I hadn't of messed up my first year and had gone to Uni last September, I honestly do not think I would have been ready. I was still worried on where I wanted to go in life, whereas now? I feel more steady, and I know I want to do English and going into the publishing industry. It took me the last year or so to discover myself, I know what I want and where I want to go. I have learned a lot about myself due to taking that extra year to complete A Levels. I am glad I messed up my first year, I would not be the person I am today without it.
I want to say that. it is okay to fuck up. We all do it, you just have to learn from your mistakes and try again. It might take you longer to get to the place you want to be, you friends may even be ahead of you, but that is okay. You are doing this for yourself, and no one else. Do it at your own pace, and just keep going, you will get exactly where you are meant to be, even if like myself it takes an extra year. You have got this.
I started my first day of summer with a good eleven and a half hours sleep, it was perfect not having to wake up for an alarm. I am quite optimistic about this Summer. The Summer before university. So far I have a gig planned, a cinema screening of a friend's film, a party to go to, pride, holiday to Spain and my best friend from Manchester is visiting so no doubt we will be up to many adventures. Those are the set in stone plans, no doubt there will be many more spontaneous plans on the cards. I also plan on writing a book, or begin to, this Summer. I am continuing a piece I did for my English Coursework, it is historic fiction, I will do a post on it with more detail another time!
Expect more summer posts. for example, I am shopping for holiday clothes this week so I may do a little holiday haul for you!
Summer Begins
Wednesday, 21 June 2017
Hello!
I feel like it has been a while since I just posted a talk/thought kind of post. So yesterday I posted a new poem,a spoken word poem which I did a video reading which I attached to the bottom. It wasn't spectacular but it something I hope to do more of in the future. It's fun and something new.
Yesterday something else happened to me to; realization struck me during a heart to heart with my sister, I've been wanting to leave home for Uni since I was twelve and it sunk it that in four months time I will be doing just that. I cannot believe I am actually this close, it is frightening. I am excited but absolutely bricking it at the same time!
I am also addicted to The Sims 4 - I spend all my free time on it, it is probably getting out of control. I am doing The Legacy challenge, which is challenging to say at the least. It's making me play Sims in a whole new way, so that is enjoyable.
Things are okay, I'm not bursting with happiness but I'm not crying myself to sleep either. I am okay with okay.
ALOHA!!
Wednesday, 26 April 2017
Last night I took a coach to London. Being a student of course I want as cheap travel as possible. So 7 hours on a coach to London... oh boy. Barely slept, cramp everywhere but I felt alive with London as soon as my case rolled on the pavement.
We were in London for an hour or so, getting food and sorted before getting on the hour train to Brighton. Which was far more pleasant than the coach, I did my makeup eat wonderful cupcakes we bought in London. The closer the train was getting to Brighton the more excited I felt.
Leading up to my firsr trip to Brighton, everyone told me I'd love it and it will be amazing. I hadn't quite believed them. Until I stepped out of Brighton Station, and I have never felt so at home in a place I've never seen before. It was love at first sight, and it became even more so when we explored. Wall murials and art on every corner, shops alive with colour and unique qualities. My soul found its home.
We explored coffee shops and food places, we visited The Lanes, which I see myself spending all my time (as well as money) during University. Brighton is like no other place, it wasn't fast like London, it was chilled and welcoming.
I met someone new, another student who I connected with and it felt amazing. With Brighton I'm not that nervous wreck I am in other cities, I'm not that self concious person in the city I've come from, I feel so relaxed and confident and unique. I have never felt this free or good before, I think Brighton may just be the best thing for me.
We visited the pier, and amusements. Pubs and endless shops. We trullt explored today, and as I walked through the streets each step I knew I was home. The hotel is lovely we are staying in, spacious and spectacular. We've been for drinks and just had such a good first day. I can see myself living here for a long time. It's picturesque and the creative vibes radiate through me, I am so excited for the future.
Tomorrow, on the cards we have University of Brighton applicant day (the main reason we came down) where I will meet other students, the lecturers, and get tours. I am super excited! After this we plan on shopping as well as stroll along the pebbled beach. Check back in tomorrow, I am having an early night since I haven't slept much within the last 48 hours!
Brighton Day 1
Tuesday, 21 March 2017
In September I will heading off to University, hopefully Brighton. I know sometimes things get tough and I get a little down some days, and in Brighton I won't have my family or friends I have known for years around me. And I cannot exactly get the train up to Newcastle for a few hours whenever I like because it takes abit of time to get there plus it's quite pricey. And being a student I don't think I will be able to afford £100+ every week to go home, so I will probably be seeing them at Christmas, Easter (maybe) and of course the Summer. I decided for those sad days I will collect happy moments.
If you follow my Instagram (WritingMyHeart) you will have seen this Jar in my feed, I posted a couple weeks ago and I have been wanting to do a blog post including the jar, I have managed to nab some time today to sit down and finally create that blog post.
By the time September comes around I hope to have this jar full, each folded up piece of paper has something written on it. A memory, or a quote, anything that has made me smile. This is essentially a jar filled with happiness. So for those days where I am feeling a bit blue I can reach into the jar and smile at the note. Little notes that will remind of home, friends or even a favourite song I was obsessed with at the time of writing it.
Whilst I am at Brighton, I hope to either get another jar or add to this one the moments that happen at University, the bad and the good and maybe share ti with my family in the Summer or keep them for future moments to look back on.
I found the jar idea on Twitter a couple months back, but for moments that happen over the year and you open and read them on New Years Eve to reflect back on the year you've had. I decided to put a twist and make it for University, it can be difficult being somewhere new, away from home and I want to make that just a little easier for myself.
I bought the jar from the pound shop, and I have a notebook I just write little things on and I tear it out and fold it up, and into the jar it goes. I have added a few more notes since the picture was taken, it feels good to look over at my window and see the jar with the happiness piling up inside. I am hoping to stick with it, I highly recommend creating a jar. It is good when you forget things that happen and then you read about them, and the memories come flooding back, that is one of my favourite feelings in the world!
Jar of Happiness
Saturday, 18 February 2017
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