The best advice

I received the best advice I could ever be given and at the time I didn't even realise. It was not long after I changed sixth form last year and the advice was from someone I'd never expect to be right. A woman who has lived a long working class life, grafting for a living and raising a family. She has seen somethings and I respect her dearly. A woman as she told me about her education, with regret in her eyes told me these words

"Education is the only way to get out, get out of this city and go somewhere and be a somebody."

And this,this one piece of advice, from a woman whose living on a council estate getting her and her family by, changed me. With this one piece of advice, I keep in my mind. I work hard for this quote, cause I don't want to be stuck in this city that is my hometown. I want to be educated, travel and go places and be my own person and not be held back by my social class. It's not a fools dream,as I go through my A Levels I am making this a reality. I cried the other week, I sobbed tears of joy as I received an offer from the University of my dreams; The University of Brighton. I'm predicted at the end of A Levels BBC and they offered me CCC. I sobbed because this lovely woman made me realise if you put in the work and follow your own direction you don't have to be attached to the constraints of your hometown. I'm not sure she is aware of the impact she has made on me, a neighbour of my sisters, this is to you. Thank you, you have no idea how much I think back to your words, when things are fussy and I feel like giving in sometimes, it is those words that put me back on track.

The best advice

Sunday, 4 December 2016

In the books

It's not like it is in the books, not as slow as the films. It's something totally different, unique to the person but it's still wonderful.

In the books

Tuesday, 15 November 2016

Certainty

If the sun didn't come up tomorrow would you miss it? Or would you carry out your day in darkness? The sun will come up tomorrow, it's a certainty. The one thing we can depend on, it will go down and it will come back up. Each day and each out. No matter what happens in the world, what feelings occur or danger lurks the sun will always be a certainty. Down it set and then rises up again, marking a brand new unpredictable day.

Certainty

Monday, 14 November 2016

Goodbye October

Goodbye October,

A pleasant month you have been. You've shown me the true beauty of Autumn, you brought out my love for photography. This month you've shown me the leaves on the ground, the cold air that refreshes the world. This month you've made me feel blessed, blessed for the world we live in, blessed for having all my loved ones, blessed for all those who've have wrote a passage in my story. This may be the best October of my life, and all because of the little things life has to offer. I thank you for the happiness you've brought me, the shake  back to reality I trully needed.

I bid you farewell, until next time.

Goodbye October

Monday, 31 October 2016

Family; they fuck us up

Family raise us
they shape us
until we are the people
we are today

Family in reality;
they fuck us up
they give us goodness
they show us the bad

They influence us
they force their opinion
their agenda upon us
we didn't ask to be born

Family; they love us
we love them
but we are bound to them
we feel like we owe them
and suppose we do

Everything we do
effects them
they are like a cloud
constantly hanging over you
for life.

Family; they fuck us up

Wednesday, 15 June 2016

Reality; The Weather?

WASSSSS UPPPPP MY HOMIES??

hmmm maybe not.

Hello, humans I come in peace?

HA SURE I DO.

HI.

The Weather? Such an interesting topic, doesn't it just tickle your fancy. No. WHO EVEN TALKS ABOUT THE WEATHER I MEAN WHATT?? Well apart from weathen men or women then I s'pose that is acceptable.

Seriously is there anyone who has ever had a full on convo about the weather? I MEAN WHAT IS THERE TO TALK ABOUTT EXACTLY?

Norman (idk first name in my head); the weather is lovely!

Brenda (shush is this roleplay); Oh I know it's just luvely, the weather is finaly looking up!

Norman; I know it's been rather grumpy lately, with all that rain!

Brenda; I know it's been terribly honestly I haven't been able to hang my knickers up on the line!

AWKWARD. Where can a weather conversation really go? Norman and Brenda know exactly what I am talking about, their convo is lasting long they will probs end up talking about food nexts and then puppies, the weather won't come up again.

I s'pose when ya really think about it when the weather is concerned it's only ever in small talk, probably because there is small to talk about it.

Now I'm thinkin why on earth have I written an entry on weather? I AM INSANE OR NOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD? Shush don't even think aboout answering it, cheeky sod. I mean writing about weather who even? ONE THING IS TALKIGN ABOUT IT BUT ACTUALLY WRITING, I'm crazy. This isn't even healthy.

What even is weather, I don't think I have stepped out the house since 1990. I WASNT BORN THEN BUT NEVER MIND. I should really go out and enjoy the 'weather' cause I mean NOTHING sounds more appealing than breathing in poisoned polluted air, I mean dream come true right there.

This isn't really a post, but it's something. SOMETHING ON MY MIND, woo you are inside my hollow head mwahahha. You should leave before you're trapped in here forever, trust me pal you wouldn't want that. If there was a possible escape route I WOULD BE GONE!

Yeah so hows the weather?

Reality; The Weather?

Thursday, 23 July 2015

Reality; Boys Boys Boys

Boys Boys Boys...

Hallooooooo, hey, whatss uppp, I will eventually get better at this.

Yep. It's me. I izz back. YOU MISSED ME RIGHT? OF COURSE YOU DID!! I missed you too, kinda.  I did tell you I would be first talking about girls but you know, change of heart -do you get it?- -me neither-.

Boys are full of %^*£ yep they are.

Well they are when you're me.

First of all I need to put one thing out there, are you listening well reading? BOYS AREN'T LIKE THEY ARE IN BOOKS AND IN  MOVIES!

Shocker? Not really. Trust me some guy isn't going to appear outside of your bedroom window whilst he vows his undying love for you, if that did happen call the police stalker/creep alert! Some guy isn't going to come running when you're being bullied, he isn't going to lift your chin up and wipe away the tears, get real! If anything he will join in. Also if you're at a football game or even a basketball game of just some social event (what is one of them???) he won't stop what he's doing just to point you out in the crowd, he won't shout to the world or the audience he loves he, not going to happen. He probably doesn't even know you exist.

I could stress and go on at you for all the shizz movies and books plaster into your minds but that's for another time.

Boys. Well they are the opposite sex of me and maybe even you, I don't know who you are; don't complain. There is so much crap you need to know about boys, because honey they aren't what you think.

1) If you expect a guy to open up and show true feelings the moment you meet him - get that stupid ass thought out of your head. They are complicated, yeah just like us they have insecurities and problems.  THEY NEED TIME. LIKE US WELL GIRLS OR WHOEVER PULLS GUYS OKAY, NEED TIME. Rome wasn't built in  a day no it took a god damn while, a good comparison which takes me onto the next point' guys and brick walls, not much difference.

2) Guys don't read between the lines, not like us. YOU HAVE TO BE BLUNT, HINTS WON'T WORK! You can't expect a guy to read your mind or notice your hair or those new shoes, you need to just be straight up. Don't expect him to read into your kisses, guys are from a whole new planet. What three kisses to you means he likes you, three kisses to him means you want the D (WHAT IS THIS?) Yeah see the difference?

3) GUYS DON'T GO FOR GIRLS LIKE ME! Girls who aren't feminine, girls who aren't perfect. Girls who don't have perfect boobs or bodies. girls who love food more than anything. Girls who can't be bothered 95% of the time. Do you want to know why? The first thing a guy notices is looks, honestly. I tried the whole try and impressive shizz but guess what? NEVER GOOD ENOUGH. Hey that's fine with me. Guys want someone to show their friends too, someone who will fit on his arm perfectly. Someone who has more make up on than brains in her skull. GOOD LOOKING GUYS DON'T GO FOR GIRLS WHO AREN'T GOOD LOOKING. And when if they do, UNLIKELY, when does it really ever work out?

You're all probably thinking I'm just bitching and dissing well no honey, darling, human, I am being honest. How horrible it is people generally don't see the personality first. I've probably offended a whole bunch of people but hey can't please everyone.

4) BOYS AREN'T TOYS YOU CAN'T FIX THEM! That bad boy that's a complete arse to everyone, no he doesn't want you to be a hero. It's his choice to be an ass, and you bending over backwards to his please to 'fix' him will only cause you pain, come on  get real keep being like that you will be his doormat his own personal skivy.

5) WHY ARE THEY SO IMPORTAiNT ANYWAY? Because they have a dangly bit? Because you can hold hands, kiss and just be mushy. Well who cares? So what. Hold your own hand. There is only one person perfect for you and that's yourself.

I don't even know why I bother. Boys are just stressing, you never know what they are thinking, but girls can be just the same, so don't get up in my face and be like WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWOWOWOWO STOP RIGHT THERE CLASH YOU'RE BEING SEXIST! Sit down sunshine and shut up, got it? Girls can be just as fucked up.

6) Don't expect romance. Come on this is Modern Day not the shakesperian times, he's not going to give you roses and take you to a mountain to have a romantic meal under the stars and make out - no reality he is taking you to McDonald's people will watching as you both scoff a McDonald's, you will hold his sweaty hand and there will be pretty much no conversation and at the end of the night... guess what? He will stick is tongue down your throat and say bye and will probably not be back in contact.

7) IF HE LIKES YOU HE WILL TELL YOU - IF HE DOESN'T HE WONT - GOT IT?

I bet after this rant or lecture of whatever you please, there will be air headed girls thinking it will be different and that she can change a guy, romance and crap.It's okay, I don't care I'm just trying to prevent your silly little heart from being broken, but don't mind me. What would I know about boys?

   OH RAPUNZEELLL OH RAPUNZELL LET DOWN YOUR LOCKS AND I WILLL CLIMB AND RESCUE BLAH BLAH BLAH reality OI WILL YA COME AND OPEN YOUR FRONT DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE AND I WANT ME LEG OVER- basically.

Well I found that refreshing, well maybeee. What am I even talking about? It was a load of bull, all this coming from a pathetic single monster - NOM NOM BOYS HERE I COME TO EAT YOU WHOLE AND THROW AWAY ALL THOSE MAKE UP PLASTER SWIGS TH-EEE THY FOR THUMB - you get it.

BOYS BOYS BOYS - MORE LIKE TOYS, NOISE AND FOOLS - DON'T HAVE HIGH EXPECTATION THEY AREN'T LIKE THEY ARE IN THE MOVIES AND BOOKS THAT'S ALL MADE UP.

I should be going, I mean I've got like a line of boys queing up for ten block gotta keep pleasing - HA I AM SO FUNNY, YOU LAUGHED RIGHT? OF COURSE YOU DID.

AHAHAHAHAHA.

CRYING OF LAUGHTER.

HA.

YEAH.

BOO.

BLAH.

BOYS.

**** AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.

Not really that funny.

you're not even laughing.

AWKWARD...

No really, I should be going to like you know... Powder my noise? HAHAHA THERE I GO AGAIN IM FUNNY.

yep

asta lavistaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa baby...

no why do I bother. BAHHH-BYEEEEEEEEE

Reality; Boys Boys Boys

Monday, 6 July 2015

Reality

-FICTIONAL ORIGINAL DRAMATIC TEENAGE SERIES-

Hellur, hi.

So here YOU are reading my words, or just pretending to read them. You're here just to be nebby, take pity and laugh at tyyypical me; Maddy Clash. Yes Clash is my last name, don't even bother laughing, yes it's ironc I knowww; I CLASH WITH EVERYTHING!! Kind of like a bull mixed with an elephant in a china shop, but only instead of the china shop just life in general.

You're probably wondering 'WHAT EVEN ARE YOU YOU WEIRD CREATURE?"

Well, don't even get me started on that, I've asked this upteenth times. I wonder what accent you're reading this out in? I betchaa wondering what am I talking about? Well you're the first. I have  scummy laddish accent, but no I'm not  a lad, I get mistaken as one but I am not one... well I wasn't when I last checked. One second... Nope I'm not!

You're here to read me, read me like a book... ironic, I'm getting good with these puns. I am Maddy Clash and I'm here to sort your head out, and my own head of course. You may notice I'm not all there, or here.

You read things and see things. THEY AREN'T REAL, GET THAT STUPID ASS IDEA OUT OF YOUR HEART RIGHT NOW! I am the reality of the lies plastered on screen and put into words. Happy endings are good and all but come on that is just not how life goes!

I will tell and show exactly what those movies and books don't tell you, you can be my diary and I will feed you information, in a like a series sort of, each time I post a reality chapter,a different topic each time, we've only just met and I'm being nice.... don't worry it won't last long, I promise!

This is just telling you how things are gonna go, don't mind my short text.... I'm not posh you know?

Also if I offend you, tough. I'm wallowing in my own self pity of expeirences, you're just here to peek and join the ride, you know what? You may even learn a thing or too!

I have so much I can say, but I don't want to. Not right now, time will come, time will come. I bet I'm coming across as creep, well I'm not!

You wanna know what I'm thinking don't you? Well that's just tough cause most of the time I don't even know what I'm thinking. Reality, it's me being real with you.

Not sugar coating the crap, not making myself to be something I'm not. I could tell you I'm a babe and everyone loves me but I'm not, I'm the opposite. You're probably judging me right now, shame on you. I'm being real and right now I'm in your head, yes your head wooooooooooo. Well technically now you're in my head, it's dark in there isn't it? See what I have to put up with?

I'm the reality of everything, I am that victim that everyone hates, I'm that person you don't know, I'm that virgin that will never get a boyfriend. I'm that person who doesn't feel happiness. And for you? You I don't know who you are.

I'm no good at this introducing myself kinda crap, I ramble on but I'm guessing you're thinking; LIES YOU DONT RAMBLE ON. Do you think I'm crazy? Do you think I'm insane? Here I am talking to myself... hmmm. I am crazy, I am insane. Yet here you are reading, watching and feeling me... wait that last bit... forget I said anything

You should stay, stay with me and hear what I've got to say, what harm can it do afterall? I have a lot to say, ALOT!

Since you're here, I measly well tell ya about something I will talk about; Girls, boys, sex, movies, music, love, hate,crying,food, fat and everything teenager.

I bet you're ready to give up  on me, go on then. GO! It's not like I am not used to is, I am the lost cause no one writes about, so here I am writing about myself; how sad? But that just sums be up doesn't it? It's okay you can agree, I've heard a lot worse!

Oh right back to me... sorry I was drueling over Matt. No not my boyfriend, HA BOYFRIEND WHAT EVEN IS THAT? Matt, from that band, the 1975, he hawt. Surrounded my fine male specimen right now... NO NOT HUMAN CONTACT, DAMN YOU PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ME! I mean my posters; there's Zac, a bit of Dave Franco, oooo there is Zayn. Anyways...

Currently I am alone... well I have my posters so I'm not alone. In that case I'm surrounded by beautiful people, we're all dancing, Ima great dancer. There is noise downstairs, everyone's downstair, execpt me. It's okay I love being alone, talking to myself, dancing with posters and stuffing my face with Doritios, this is the life for me. NOTE THE SARCASM.

Am I being rude? I would say sorry but in reality no one cares. I don't care, I probably won't even read over this, how good am I to you? Sharing my crap thoughts and feelings unedited, I am a good person.

'First Impressions are key' well I have well and trully *@"£$% things up, oh well.

I bet you're wondering what I look like? Well I don't look like you. I bet you've got lovely eyes, a nice smile and a blooming personaility? GOOD FOR YOU! You've got it easy, it must be nice to be pretty and just likeable. BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH - Sorry that was me puking, I looked into my reflection for too long... whoooops?

Why do I even bother to babble on? I gotta go, my so called hectic life is rushing me off my feet, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. I'm funny, that joke was hileraious, no but I am going just cause I'm even too awkward in my own stupid head, damnnn, You may hear from me later probably rambling on about girls or some other crap.

Bye, chow, Au reviour ugh I fail at life, traaaaa. nope. Bye

Reality

Thursday, 2 July 2015