I wish I could tell you

I wish I could tell you, tell you where I've been. All the times I've been away, the excuses I've thrown your way. It hurts me it does, the guilt always lingers  but I just can't stop, no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to let him go. I love you, but I think I love him too. His arms his smile the way his fingers trace my skin, it's not fair on you but I can't let you go. If I tell you, it breaks two things. Your heart and the passion of secrecy between myself and him. As I watch you sleep next to me I wish he was entwined with me. I'm not coming home, at least not tonight. I look you in the eyes, and tell you you're all my heart desires, but I'm looking over your shoulder lusting for him. I can't keep you close but I don't want to let you go. You know, don't you? I don't mean to though, you mean a lot to me. It's a crime of passion, the kind I've only read in books and I just can't let it go. I wish I could tell you, but I won't. Neither of you I'll let go...