I want to be happy, and I want to be with him. But Lauren you know you don't really want that. I want to move forward from this stage of awkwardness. You would be lost without this stage of awkwardness, you're not even handling it properly as it is. I feel like I'm ready, I'm ready to accept the love I deserve. Lauren you aren't fooling anyone, you're not ready, you're never ready for anything, and we both know you aren't ready to accept the love you deserve, you're clueless to exactly what you deserve. I want to be happy, smiling and holding his hand. Lauren, need I tell you more about how you destroy your own happiness, you rarely smile and you can't even hold your own hand never mind anyone else'. I never want these butterflies to end, they're empowering and motivating. You're deluding yourself, you're not fooling anyone around you, especially him, so stop trying to fool yourself.
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