Insecure

Like everyone else, I am human. Not one of us is superhuman, even though sometimes I do wish I had the abilities of batman, but we can't always get what we wish for. Today I decided I would write about insecurities, it is personal and serious, everyone has them or has had them at some point in their life.
Disclaimer -  this isn't me posting for attention, that is not my aim here, I am just posting personal experiences and feelings, I hopefully shed light onto the whole thing. I don't usually share this kind of thing.
Firstly, I feel as though I've always been self-conscious, I know from a young age I have been very aware of my weight, people pointing it out or thinking it's okay to be mean about things.  And well as growing up and developing it seems one of my most insecurities is my weight, my stomach, my arms and thighs especially. I have always been closely aware of my body.
I can usually go through the day without stressing or being too overly conscious about these things, unless of course someone else mentions them. However, I have been feeling inadequate lately. I have been feeling very self-conscious and aware of my body. Usually, when this happens (which is often) I tear myself a part.
I am trying to improve myself, I want to love me for me, and that is so damn hard. I am on this journey and some days I can be like 'I'm confident, I rock and I'm fabulous' but others  I am the complete opposite. It's like one step forward and two steps backward. Sitting around pulling at my insecurities isn't helping me, I know that of course.
Instead of hating on the parts of me I don't like I'm trying to concentrate on the things I do like. I can't ignore my insecurities, but I am trying to improve them, for instance I'm beginning to eat healthier, I'm only drinking water, it is a start. Before I get to the ideal me, I have to learn to love myself along the way.
Sometimes I just wish it was easy, I wish the change would come quicker, in a world obsessed with looks what chance do I have?
I want to love myself, for me. I want to love everything about me, I want to be proud instead of shying away scared to even show some flesh!