Hidden Talents

Written  Teenage Monologue

Welcome, teachers, students, anyone who will listen. I would like to address a situation. A situation so cruel, heartbreaking and wrong. Something people don't understand, they think it's a small issue, unimportant. But little do people know it could the end of a teenagers life. Bullying. Not just any bullying, cyber-bullying. I want you to understand, make your own mind up and maybe think twice when you hear rumours of a victim.

First of all, I will start with telling you what cyber-bullying is. Cyber Bullying is a form of teenage violence, bullying somewhat online, not face to face but through messages and pictures and even videos. It can happen anywhere. Most of the time no one knows about it or know that it's happening, not until it's too late. It can happen on social networking sites. Insults, remark, threats, and curses sent to innocent people. Someone hiding behind a screen and keyboard making someone else's life hell. Don't you think that it's wrong? Cyber Bullying. It;s cruel, unfair and uncalled for! The internet should be a safe place aren't I right? But it isn't safe, not at all! It's packed with cruel violent trolls of socities perfection army.

How is any of this allowed? How could someone laugh over someone else's flaws and vunerabilities? Cold hearted monsters, that's exactly what cyber bullies are! And the worst thing is they don't think about consequences, the dangerous powerful trecherous consequences. But having said that we will stress about the consequences later.

What do you think the reason behind cyber bullying is? Maybe it is societies fault? Maybe all of those models, thin and taned, you know the look a like perfects, maybe they're the cause? Perhaps. Or perhaps it is the pressure to be perfect being pushed into people's faces; giving the ideal perfect way of how people should look and act. But even so, is it right to point out people's flaws and use them against them? Judging them because they're not 'pretty'. It's wrong and you know it is.

But in realisation it's not just the pressure to be perfect, it's the fact that in today's society being different is wrong. I wish it wasn't like this but it is. Being gay is frowned upon, having your own style is too and of course your inteligence is being judged. So when society pushes  people away, almost so they are not themselves. So where can they, us be ourselves if not in real life? The internet.

The internet. A place to turn to Sometimes it's people's escape from the real world. Somewhere they can be themselves and be accepted. But then it starts to linger. Hiding in the shadows ready to pounce, attacking what confidence you have. Ripping your feelings a part. No matter where, you will find them. A troll I mean. Someone who mocks and threatens someone's misfortune. These trolls lurk, waiting for their next victim, ready to take another life.

You're probably think I am exaggerating right? I wish I was but I am honestly not. I don't think you understand being a victim. A victim of never ending flaws, victim of cyber bullying. A victim of society.  Well if this isn't enough I guess you don't understand.

Cyber bullying, and even face to face bullying, they all have the same nasty negative effect. Did you know bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide then non victims, shocking isn't it? But it doesn't end here.  Do you know in Britain studies found that at least of suicides amongst young people are related to cyber bullying, now if that doesn't make you listen or even give a thought then you will never really understand. Do you ever wonder who those victims could be or will be? There are signs, so many signs that you are unaware of, signs caused by cyber bullying.

Depression. On going sadness, withdrawel from others. Loosing interst in favourite activities, pushing everyone away, feeling more alone than ever before. Your world crumbling around you, saying goodbye to people; letting them go. Feeling like you're never good enough. Feeling like the world and everything else would be much better without you. Pushing everything away even the things and people you love. Giving up, physically, emotionally and mentally. Not being able to handle or face anything. But how would you know? Do you understand? You don't know what it's like, you can only imagine it unless you've been through it. You don't know what it's like; threats and people who you've never met telling you to go slit your wrists. You wouldn't understand victims; people like me.

Yes me. The girl that smiles and swears she's alright. No I am not alright. I am a victim of cyber bullying. I can tell you facts and figures but that would mean nothing, not until I tell you exactly how it feels and the consquences. I will tell you how it started, my cyber bully story;

I was happy, real life was good. I got a new phone, which meant unlimited internet access. So as you can imagine I soon enough had an online life too, It was going great at first. Until the first message came 'You're stupid' It hurt that someone I didn't know said that but I shrugged it off thinking nothing of it. I was wrong to think that, soon enough I recieved another one from anonymous person, once again I left it thinking it would go away.

I was wrong. Everytime I updated a status or sent a tweet I would recieve a comment or a reply saying 'simple girl, good for nothing' more messages came, the next one worse than the last. I tried to ignore them, I stopped posting as much as I had been but it seemed to provoke the person more and the things they were saying got worse 'You're worthless, fat, useless for society' messages this like this over and over again.

You can only ignore these things so much until they eat away at you.

'You should die!' 'Slit your wrists!' 'Kill yourself don't worry you won't be missed!' these were the most common ones, it wasn't once a week or once every month it was 5-10 times a day! This time it wasn't one person but many people, ganging up on me.

I couldn't do a thing but cry, letting every single word get to me. Breaking me piece by piece. I couldn't tell anyone, who would listen? They would tell me I was being stupid or making things up for attention.

It got worse. I was being harrassed; letters, emails, texts, comments, tweets everywhere. As they kept coming I kept falling, falling into the deep dark arms of depression. I still didn't tell anyone. It got worse as you can imagine. There was one thing that got to me bad, you could even say it was the tip of the ice berg that pushed me over the edge.

I had posted a picture of me and my family. I wish I hadn't. The comments and the threats ' You're ugly like your family' 'You should kill yourself they would be so much happier without you' 'Kill yourself finaly make them proud' 'Watch if you don't kill yourself I will kill you,' This cyber bullying went on for two months.

They say a picture paints a thousand words, but some words should just be left unspoken. It got to me, so much I couldn't control myself. That's when I started to paint a picture of my own. My body was the canvas, my razor was the paint burhs and my blood was the red paint that told my story.

Cyber-bullying? Call it nothing but I beg to differ. The thing that put me on the verge of ending it all, all it would have taken would have been a couple more swishes of the brush. I could have been dead. Suicide? I contemplated it for months, instead I turned to the next best thing; self harming.

I became inscure, I was lost. I was a different person, people didn't know me, most of all I didn't know myself. Cyber bullies ruined me, I tried to not look but I couldn't help it. There was once a careless happy girl... You see in the papers girls and boys, young the same age as you and I, taking their own lives because of the same reasons of my own, it makes me vunerable, saddened and broken. That could have been me. I could be the dead one, instead I decided to cut away my life, slowly and frequently.

I wanted the hate to stop, and the only way I could think of was to vanquish the flaws. I stopped eating, starved myself. I was desperate to be accepted. I wanted to be 'perfect'. I wanted people's approval. It didn't help, god no it made it worse.

That's when cyber bullying pushed me on the edge, falling into the end.

The last message I saw 'You're nothing, and you will always stay that way, you can't change you will forever be a beast, you're ugly, and pathetic! You should die now before we're forced to take action. You're not welcome in society, there are flaws in everyone but you have the most you worthless good for nothing fool!' that's when I painted too much, roughly and viscously. I blacked out.

And today here I stand. Scars everywhere, the constant reminder of what I was forced to do. Cyber bullying. It makes you frightened, forever insecure...

Tell me, how do you feel now? You've heard my story and I am only one of thousands if not millions of cyber bully victims. Have you made your mind up? It makes you think doesn't it? What is out there? Things you can't control? Cyber Bullies. They're viscous and will get to you at no cost. They leave you scarred and forever wounded, physically, mentally and emotionally.

Did you ever consider any of this before I started talking to you? Thanks to cyber bullies I don't think I will ever be the same again. Everyday there are new victims, new suicide stories.

To conclude my talk, I will leave you with a few questions; how would you feel if you were a victim? How would you feel if you were the bully and you found out the consequences? You never know who is a victim do you? If you knew a victim what would you say or do? How has this speech affected you?